Nabely Posted April 20, 2022 Share Posted April 20, 2022 There is a new co-worker who is a father of 7 year-old twin daughters. His wife died several hours after giving birth to the twins; some type of complications or something. He actually grew up with her in the same town, meeting way back in 2nd grade. Then they fell in love during their late teens, got married and she died after childbirth. He remained a single father and hasn't dated any women yet. His friends and some of his relatives have tried to get him to meet other women but nope, he isn't into it. How long do you think it generally takes a man to date again if he lost his wife after childbirth? I know he loved his wife so much but isn't 7 years enough time to start over? Link to post Share on other sites
FMW Posted April 20, 2022 Share Posted April 20, 2022 There is no standard, set amount of time. Could be 6 months, could be never. The important thing is for everyone to let him choose his own timetable. If and when he's ready to date, he'll make it known. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted April 20, 2022 Share Posted April 20, 2022 8 hours ago, Nabely said: There is a new co-worker. His wife died several hours after giving birth to the twins. but isn't 7 years enough time to start over? Has he asked you out? Don't date co-workers or make new emoyees uncomfortable. It's his personal business if he is dating or not. Try not to get involved in workplace gossip about him. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted April 20, 2022 Share Posted April 20, 2022 He will date when he meets the right woman. That may take years. He will know when it's right. I don't blame him for not dating and devoting his time to his twins. He can always get a woman. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted April 20, 2022 Share Posted April 20, 2022 He may simply be too busy to date. Link to post Share on other sites
dramafreezone Posted April 20, 2022 Share Posted April 20, 2022 (edited) 14 hours ago, Nabely said: There is a new co-worker who is a father of 7 year-old twin daughters. His wife died several hours after giving birth to the twins; some type of complications or something. He actually grew up with her in the same town, meeting way back in 2nd grade. Then they fell in love during their late teens, got married and she died after childbirth. He remained a single father and hasn't dated any women yet. His friends and some of his relatives have tried to get him to meet other women but nope, he isn't into it. How long do you think it generally takes a man to date again if he lost his wife after childbirth? I know he loved his wife so much but isn't 7 years enough time to start over? That's incredibly sad and tragic. I think if I were in his place I may never be ready to date again, and instead probably just devote my life to raising my young children. Additionally, if he does decide to date again, it's possible that no woman may ever measure up to his late wife. There's no playbook on this type of situation. It's up to him and I can't blame him if he never wanted to date again. He knew and loved this woman for over 20 years. Edited April 20, 2022 by dramafreezone 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ShyViolet Posted April 21, 2022 Share Posted April 21, 2022 There's no simple answer to this. It's his decision alone and it's no one else's business unless he asks them their advice. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Just A Man Posted April 21, 2022 Share Posted April 21, 2022 18 hours ago, ShyViolet said: There's no simple answer to this. It's his decision alone and it's no one else's business unless he asks them their advice. I think this more or less answers the question properly. Nobody else knows what the full extent of the relationship and love they had was, and how long it will take him to cope with it. Maybe the man has just decided that he will do his best to raise the children the way him and his former wife would have. And regardless, maybe anything more than friends in his life might not be something he desires at this point of time. Link to post Share on other sites
AngryGromit Posted April 21, 2022 Share Posted April 21, 2022 On 4/19/2022 at 10:22 PM, Nabely said: How long do you think it generally takes a man to date again if he lost his wife after childbirth? I know he loved his wife so much but isn't 7 years enough time to start over? I agree, not standard amount of time. If it was me, and the the nurse told me my wife just died, I'd be like damn, that sucks. Hey, my schedule cleared up, you available for a date tonight? In all seriousness, after i decided to divorce my first wife, I was on dating apps the next day looking for a new mate. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted April 23, 2022 Share Posted April 23, 2022 On 4/21/2022 at 7:54 PM, AngryGromit said: I agree, not standard amount of time. If it was me, and the the nurse told me my wife just died, I'd be like damn, that sucks. Hey, my schedule cleared up, you available for a date tonight? In all seriousness, after i decided to divorce my first wife, I was on dating apps the next day looking for a new mate. Divorcing says you no longer want your wife. I imagine when a man is actually in love with his wife who dies giving birth to cherished twins the feelings are a lot different. The last thing he's thinking about is clearing his schedule and getting a date. 2 1 Link to post Share on other sites
mark clemson Posted April 30, 2022 Share Posted April 30, 2022 (edited) Certainly there is no standard, although I do think it makes sense for there to be a "respectful" hold on dating which could be AT LEAST 6 months to one or two years to honor what you have lost and process the loss emotionally. Jumping right back into dating suggests there was not a large emotional impact from the loss. 7 years is more than enough time (IMO), but everyone's different and some people would rather "cherish the memory" than look for a new partner. Let this person be who they are. If you are looking to date, suggest you seek elsewhere, although I suppose you could give them a few (respectful) nudges just in case that produces some interest. If that doesn't work, just move on. There's a decent chance IMO they idealize their lost partner, and those may be shoes that you can never effectively fill (and thus come to resent), because the partner is no longer around for the negatives to show, but you are actually in front of them. Edited April 30, 2022 by mark clemson Link to post Share on other sites
mrs rubble Posted April 30, 2022 Share Posted April 30, 2022 My aunt didn't date for about 15 years after loosing her husband, my other aunt didn't date for 25 years after loosing her husband. Everyone is different. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted May 1, 2022 Share Posted May 1, 2022 On 4/19/2022 at 10:22 PM, Nabely said: There is a new co-worker . How long do you think it generally takes a man to date again if he lost his wife Try to steer clear of workplace gossiping and judgements. Especially stay away from any workplace vultures, talking behind this new co-workers back. Link to post Share on other sites
introverted1 Posted May 15, 2022 Share Posted May 15, 2022 It takes as long as it takes. Why are you concerned? Do you want to date this guy? Link to post Share on other sites
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