Can't really figure this girl out just yet.

[jgraham11]

14 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

Exactly. It's all speculation what her friendliness is. Perhaps she wishes to be well liked. She may have a BF.

Whatever it is, it's her personality and she's there to work and get a paycheck.

Well she doesn’t have a BF. And everyone goes to work for the paycheck man, but let’s not act like workplace romances don’t take place either.. 

You’ve been pretty quick to chalk all this up to absolutely nothing besides a friendly personality. Why I don’t really know. 

If it’s because of the boss-subordinate factor then I wouldn’t put much into that. There’s plenty of other single women in my office that don’t act like her with me. 

Edited April 21, 2022 by jgraham11

[Alpacalia]

It isn't a bad idea to think twice regarding your possible romantic relationship since it could affect your reputation and prevent you from ascending the corporate ladder and of course it always has the possibility to impact your career. 

Truth is, when we face cupid's arrow and decide to take the leap of faith and go for it, there's always the possibility it could backfire. 

Many couples meet through their workplace, so it's not reasonable to say having a crush on another employee should be avoided at all costs.

If you do decide to pursue things with your co-worker, your colleagues are most likely going to respect you and everything will be alright, so long as it doesn't interfere with work or your ability to do your job.

If you and your coworker are both rational individuals who care about their careers and aren't inherently drawn to excessive drama, you'll both be fine.

However, as her superior, you have a higher level of responsibility. So, it's a different dynamic.

Edited April 21, 2022 by Alpacalia

[glows]

1 hour ago, jgraham11 said:

I’m going to use this thread to continue to update the flirty vibes she gives me since we started working together.

Not sure what the point of that is. It’s a romance from afar. What input do you need on flirty vibes if that’s all it is. You like her, maybe she likes you but nothing is happening. It is speculation and sort of living in a fantasy world. 

[Trail Blazer]

On 4/20/2022 at 11:08 PM, Alpacalia said:

I apologize. 

That was a bit of fear to get you to do more dating.

Please don't turn to this coworker just because there isn't much else going on.

If you truly like her, that's one thing.

 

It's the male version of telling a woman that in 20 years from now she'll be fat, wrinkled and have a house filled with cats.

Edited April 22, 2022 by Trail Blazer

[jgraham11]

2 hours ago, Trail Blazer said:

It's the male version of telling a woman that in 20 years from now she'll be fat, wrinkled and have a house filled with cats.

A lot of women actually like the shaved head. There’s nothing worse than a guy who can’t admit he’s bald, gotta own that s***. 

It helps that I’m 6’4” and in really good shape though. Not sure I’d be so confident if I was 5’8” and fat. 

[jgraham11]

11 hours ago, Alpacalia said:

It isn't a bad idea to think twice regarding your possible romantic relationship since it could affect your reputation and prevent you from ascending the corporate ladder and of course it always has the possibility to impact your career. 

Truth is, when we face cupid's arrow and decide to take the leap of faith and go for it, there's always the possibility it could backfire. 

Many couples meet through their workplace, so it's not reasonable to say having a crush on another employee should be avoided at all costs.

If you do decide to pursue things with your co-worker, your colleagues are most likely going to respect you and everything will be alright, so long as it doesn't interfere with work or your ability to do your job.

If you and your coworker are both rational individuals who care about their careers and aren't inherently drawn to excessive drama, you'll both be fine.

However, as her superior, you have a higher level of responsibility. So, it's a different dynamic.

 

I read that almost 1 in 4 people meet their significant other at work.. 

 

So it’s not like I’m looking in the wrong place necessarily. People tend to like people they see on a frequent basis. I can’t like someone if I don’t see them or know them!

[Wiseman2]

On 4/19/2022 at 8:34 PM, jgraham11 said:

 , she seems like a very happy person in general so this is certainly not all that I go on. 

Because you have a crush on her your trying hard to read the tealeaves for signs that it's mutual. However your theory that she's a generally happy friendly person seems correct because none of the other "vibes" indicates anything except perhaps wishful thinking.

[Alpacalia]

8 hours ago, jgraham11 said:

So it’s not like I’m looking in the wrong place necessarily. People tend to like people they see on a frequent basis. I can’t like someone if I don’t see them or know them!

Certainly.

The so-called "Proximity Effect" comes to mind.

[salparadise]

21 hours ago, glows said:

Not sure what the point of that is. It’s a romance from afar. What input do you need on flirty vibes if that’s all it is. You like her, maybe she likes you but nothing is happening. It is speculation and sort of living in a fantasy world. 

Yea, I thought he was serious about following through at first. OP, if this is just flirtation and titillation enjoy it at a lower level and don’t get it confused with reality. But if the attraction is strong on both sides and you see real potential for more than a fling or a bonk, then I think you should be clear about that too… and figure out how to approach, or how to get some time with her outside of work. What you can’t do is the middle way… trying to pluck the low-hanging fruit without making a mess.

 

Edited April 22, 2022 by salparadise

[Alpacalia]

59 minutes ago, salparadise said:

Yea, I thought he was serious about following through at first. OP, if this is just flirtation and titillation enjoy it at a lower level and don’t get it confused with reality. But if the attraction is strong on both sides and you see real potential for more than a fling or a bonk, then I think you should be clear about that too… and figure out how to approach, or how to get some time with her outside of work. What you can’t do is the middle way… trying to pluck the low-hanging fruit without making a mess.

 

Agree.

It's okay, even though it might be flattering and you enjoy her company, I wouldn't entertain it further if you're not serious about following through.

[Wiseman2]

1 hour ago, salparadise said:

trying to pluck the low-hanging fruit without making a mess.

She's there to get a paycheck. It's not a pickup bar full of easy pickings. 

It's complicated because you're her supervisor and she's a naturally friendly person, so she may be trying to be nice for any number of reasons.

[Ami1uwant]

14 hours ago, jgraham11 said:

 

I read that almost 1 in 4 people meet their significant other at work.. 

 

So it’s not like I’m looking in the wrong place necessarily. People tend to like people they see on a frequent basis. I can’t like someone if I don’t see them or know them!

Where did you get that stat from? When was it done?

 

in professional circles…..profession kpjobs will not date cotworkers they regularly work with either in their immediate group or a neighboring group.

 

i work at a very large employer.  I don’t have a problem dating coworkers if it’s not someone I’m regularly working with. I might work in a special project with someone from a department I don’t work with.after project is done we won’t work together again. I might ask her out after it’s done.

 

if you think of a work organization as a family tree…some won’t date their siblings, some won’t date their 1st cousins if they are around them frequently.  Others won’t date people who share the same grandparent ( your bosses, boss)

 

others in their 20s who just have a job to pay the bills don’t care about long term career stuff so they would date coworkers.  I coukd see this group driving a 25% where you have 18-26year olds dating coworkers left and right. This also co res college crowds and the social networking that occurs then.

 

i have a mild form of aspergers. It’s genetic. It runs on my mothers side.  It’s not obvious I have it unless I’m observed by someone who is trained in recognizing the traits, even then they could miss it.  My brother is a university professor and has done research work on obvious aspie patients. He didn’t think of looking at it in me u til I told him I have it.  After that he started to see the charcateristics.

 

i have tons of trouble with subtle non verbal cues.  If I met someone like thru work and wasn’t sure if they were flirting, I’d want to see how they behave with others.

[Alpacalia]

1 in 3:
https://www.cnbc.com/2019/02/14/one-in-three-americans-has-dated-a-co-worker.html