lillylola Posted April 13, 2022 Posted April 13, 2022 (edited) Hi everyone, I’ve been wondering for a few months now if this male coworker likes me or if he’s just being friendly. To start off: there’s an unwritten rule at our office that we don’t date each other, so that might complicate things. anyway, this coworker and I always just ‘ clicked’. In our lunchbreaks we usually talk, laugh and make jokes together. For some reason, we always end at the same table together, He slightly teases me with all kind of jokes, and than after that, he winks at me. One time, we went for a drink with a group of colleagues and while we were talking next to each other, he regularly softly touched my arm. At another informal occasion with some colleagues he ended up next to me again and we talked for over an hour together and we constantly had this intense eyecontact. It felt like we were in our own bubble. I felt like kissing him, It felt like we really connected. Since then, he often calls me. Usually he talks about workrelated stuff but he can also just text me for the stuff that he wants to call about so I don’t really understand why he calls. He gives me advice, tries to keep me from making any mistakes or faults at work. Recently, he said Im his favorite colleague. that’s really sweet. And, he always pops up as the first one on my list of people that watch my Instagram Stories, and sometimes he comments on it. I heard that people that regularly visit your profile, tend to be high on the list of your storyviewers, he’s been the highest one for months now, what should I make if this? Is he just being friendly, or do you think he likes me? Edited April 13, 2022 by lillylola
smackie9 Posted April 13, 2022 Posted April 13, 2022 yes he likes you but is unsure about making a move since it's frowned upon to date coworkers.
Alpacalia Posted April 13, 2022 Posted April 13, 2022 As long as he is just flirting with you and not asking you out, I wouldn't take him seriously. Particularly since it is a workplace. 1
glows Posted April 13, 2022 Posted April 13, 2022 The next time he talks about himself, ask him what his wife or girlfriend thinks. You'll find out quickly whether he worth your time. 1
Wiseman2 Posted April 13, 2022 Posted April 13, 2022 35 minutes ago, lillylola said: there’s an unwritten rule at our office that we don’t date each other, so that might complicate things. he often calls me. Enjoy the friendship, but if dating coworkers is frowned upon, don't jeopardize your job. Date outside of work.
Author lillylola Posted April 13, 2022 Author Posted April 13, 2022 50 minutes ago, stillafool said: Is he married or single and available? Single, but don’t know for sure if he’s dating.
Ami1uwant Posted April 13, 2022 Posted April 13, 2022 1 hour ago, lillylola said: Single, but don’t know for sure if he’s dating. Do you ask him about what he did this weekend? Nature conversation would come out on dating/ relationship. If he is interested in you he won’t mention dates/ relationship stuff. if he does mention doing things, ask him if he did it with anyone. talkabout his friends and personal life to draw out more about him without explicitly asking if he has a SO. 1
Author lillylola Posted April 16, 2022 Author Posted April 16, 2022 On 4/13/2022 at 7:18 PM, Ami1uwant said: Do you ask him about what he did this weekend? Nature conversation would come out on dating/ relationship. If he is interested in you he won’t mention dates/ relationship stuff. if he does mention doing things, ask him if he did it with anyone. talkabout his friends and personal life to draw out more about him without explicitly asking if he has a SO. We sometimes do talk about our weekends, but he never mentiones anyone in it. I could ask if he does stuff with anyone, but wouldnt be to obvious that I’m fishing for something? in the meantime, I notice that I’m starting to like him more and more..
basil67 Posted April 16, 2022 Posted April 16, 2022 41 minutes ago, lillylola said: We sometimes do talk about our weekends, but he never mentiones anyone in it. I could ask if he does stuff with anyone, but wouldnt be to obvious that I’m fishing for something? I think that asking who they went with is a normal follow up question in conversation.
Wiseman2 Posted April 16, 2022 Posted April 16, 2022 1 hour ago, lillylola said: , I notice that I’m starting to like him more and more.. It's nice to have work friends. But date outside of work. Rein in the crush and just focus on your new job. Get a good profile and pics on quality dating apps and start talking to and meeting men for a drink or coffee. If you had a BF, you wouldn't worry about this and since your new employer frowns on workplace romances steer clear of this.
glows Posted April 16, 2022 Posted April 16, 2022 (edited) 2 hours ago, lillylola said: We sometimes do talk about our weekends, but he never mentiones anyone in it. I could ask if he does stuff with anyone, but wouldnt be to obvious that I’m fishing for something? in the meantime, I notice that I’m starting to like him more and more.. You may like his smooth talk and buttery compliments but if you’re not sure about the basic details about his life this is leaning more towards infatuation or a work crush. Some people find the taboo nature of doing what they’re not supposed to (in this case dating someone at work when you’re not supposed to due to an “unwritten rule”) enticing. In reality once this factor is removed there’s not much of an attraction. He may bore you. I agree that it’s not out of the ordinary asking who someone went with on a trip but if it’s not in your nature or feel uncomfortable doing so that’s also a sign that you’re fantasizing about this as opposed to giving it any real thought of progressing towards dating or wanting to know more about this person. Pay attention to your instincts. Personally, I’ve always found it hard to respect colleagues who aren’t able to keep things strictly professional. To each their own. Edited April 16, 2022 by glows 1
Ami1uwant Posted April 16, 2022 Posted April 16, 2022 14 hours ago, lillylola said: We sometimes do talk about our weekends, but he never mentiones anyone in it. I could ask if he does stuff with anyone, but wouldnt be to obvious that I’m fishing for something? in the meantime, I notice that I’m starting to like him more and more.. Do you ask him what he did? Where he went? He says he didX you coukd say…” I haven’t gone there befire, I’ve heard good things about it”. or…are there things you can easily do by yourself, but other things you won’t do alone? Ifyou do it with peop,e does it matter if it’s you going with friends vs a date thing.
stillafool Posted April 16, 2022 Posted April 16, 2022 What does any of this matter if it's frowned upon to date co-workers at your job? There are plenty of men who don't work there you could get involved with.
NuevoYorko Posted April 17, 2022 Posted April 17, 2022 I'm always bemused by the plethora of threads written by women that always feature a male co-worker, his prolonged eye contact, some kind of touching of limbs, and the enduring question ... does he like me? Yet, they completely leave out the real important question: Does she like him? Are you really seriously into this guy? If you are, maybe pursuing something would be worth the potential fallout at your workplace. If you're not, just quit already with all the monitoring of how quickly he reacts to your social media posts, how lingering your eye contact or frequency with which your arms touch.
Alpacalia Posted April 17, 2022 Posted April 17, 2022 21 hours ago, lillylola said: We sometimes do talk about our weekends, but he never mentiones anyone in it. I could ask if he does stuff with anyone, but wouldnt be to obvious that I’m fishing for something? in the meantime, I notice that I’m starting to like him more and more.. The next time it's Friday, just ask "what are you and your girlfriend up to this weekend? anything fun?" What do you think? I don't know... Maybe that's a tad direct but kind of gets it over with. There seems to be a good rapport between the two of you so it doesn't really strike me as being "too direct." The more you like him, the sooner I'd want to know.
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