NoMoreNights Posted October 23, 2005 Posted October 23, 2005 The back story: We were great friends who met in college, fell in love, and started to see each other over long distance for months. My job (contracting) ended early, and I didnt have many options, so she offered to let me move in with her. The day before I was set to move in she tells me she cant be in a romantic relationship with me anymore. (August 2005) With all the furniture already on the way and me being out of money I proceeded with the move. I of course was heartbroken and crushed. I moved in and lived with her for 30 days, most of them I was completely depressed and shattered, I couldnt even get out of bed the first week. As time went on I was able to operate some, but being surrounded by her smells, her life everyday just kept me in the dumps. As time went on she pushed me further and further away. I finally got a new job that allowed me to move out after a month, and I did so. Being off away from her has helped, but My heart and mind is still entangled with her. I have not initiated contact at all with her since I moved, she has contacted me a few times each time telling me clearly that she wants nothing romantic with me, because of the personailtiy I showed her while I was there. Last night I put it back on her stating cleary that it is her fault I was in that state she was the one who broke my heart and all she saw was the result of a choice that hurt me...The long short of it though is I cant seem to let go. I really loved this woman, I was already thinking of asking her to marry me, and now its all gone, and I just dont know what to do.
slubberdegullion Posted October 23, 2005 Posted October 23, 2005 Aren't you glad you found out that her decision-making process is erratic and irrational before you married her? Go NC with her and don't break it. She'll probably continue to contact you, if only to rub your face in the dirt, like: she has contacted me a few times each time telling me clearly that she wants nothing romantic with me Who needs this? Move on. Stay connected socially (not with her, obviously), and date other women. Your heart will heal.
Author NoMoreNights Posted October 23, 2005 Author Posted October 23, 2005 I dont intend to contact her at all. I know doing so will only hurt me more. I knew her decision making process was erratic, but I was able to deal with it, obviously this decision however was not one I could. I try to go out socially, but I find my self wanting to involve her. I went to an art festival the other weekend and all i wanted to do was tell her about it. I still find myself being so angry that I start talking out loud as if she is here tell her how much she hurt me. I havent slept well at night at all since then, I wake up most nights once or twice just from dreams that she is in. How is it that someone could be so impactful on anothers life? I go out and I see couples together and all it does is rip me up in side because it makes me think of what is lost. Its been a couple of months and it has not gottne any better, in that sense, it only has gotten worse. I did get out on a date but there was no spark, probably because I was still thinking of my ex. I would be wililng to share last night little chat its a big long let me know if anyone is interested.
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