Angel29 Posted April 11, 2022 Posted April 11, 2022 There is a director at work. I have noticed he will always give me a lingering look if I or he goes past or he stares from afar. He is in his late 40s, good looking and very confident and outgoing talking to people. Lately when he has said hello to me he quietens his voice and looks coy when he says it. Last week he quietly said how are you 'bab'? which no-one else would have heard. I was a bit surprised he said 'bab' (this means love or hun) as we don't really know each other. I asked how he was and he said he was ok. Today he came up to my desk and stood by me till I looked. He shortened my name, so he does know my name which my name isn't long anyway. He made some 'joke' with his colleagues just so he could speak to me. He does not shorten anyone else's name even though those people have their name shortened. He has tried making conversation a few times now. The thing is I think he is married, I don't know how the marriage is. He seems to have aged a lot the past 12 months. Whilst I do fancy him I would not act upon anything as I want a serious relationship. It has got me down as I want to meet someone like him but who is single so I don't know why he would come to me. How shall I act around him at work as when he interacts he gets me flustered and that stresses me out too and I hope he doesn't sense this. I don't need drama and only want a genuine man in my life.
Wiseman2 Posted April 11, 2022 Posted April 11, 2022 1 minute ago, Angel29 said: There is a director at work. The thing is I think he is married,. Ok stay friendly and professional at work with everyone including him. There are 3 major problems here as far as crushes go. You work together. He is your director. He is (or may be) married. 1
Perdu Posted April 11, 2022 Posted April 11, 2022 (edited) 57 minutes ago, Angel29 said: There is a director at work. I have noticed he will always give me a lingering look if I or he goes past or he stares from afar. He is in his late 40s, good looking and very confident and outgoing talking to people. Lately when he has said hello to me he quietens his voice and looks coy when he says it. Last week he quietly said how are you 'bab'? which no-one else would have heard. I was a bit surprised he said 'bab' (this means love or hun) as we don't really know each other. I asked how he was and he said he was ok. Today he came up to my desk and stood by me till I looked. He shortened my name, so he does know my name which my name isn't long anyway. He made some 'joke' with his colleagues just so he could speak to me. He does not shorten anyone else's name even though those people have their name shortened. He has tried making conversation a few times now. The thing is I think he is married, I don't know how the marriage is. He seems to have aged a lot the past 12 months. Whilst I do fancy him I would not act upon anything as I want a serious relationship. It has got me down as I want to meet someone like him but who is single so I don't know why he would come to me. How shall I act around him at work as when he interacts he gets me flustered and that stresses me out too and I hope he doesn't sense this. I don't need drama and only want a genuine man in my life. The main issue here: you want someone like him, but who isn't him. Let me explain. You are saying that you want no drama, just a relationship with a genuine guy. First of all, this guy could be married and looking for some side action and/or going through some issues like divorce, midlife crisis etc; secondly, he's your coworker and I consider his behavior unprofessional, since he's your superior, right? I can understand that you fancy him, but don't let that cloud your judgment. Reality is much messier than in romantic comedies. If you are happy with your job there, I wouldn't suggest risking anything with this guy, which doesn't seem to be in the position of the man you actually want. I am sure there are other men out there, that are surely single, available and that don't share your workplace. I would not encourage him into flirting. You can act friendly, but let him politely know if he steps out of the line. Remember, you are the one who must set the boundaries for herself and make sure the others know them. Edited April 11, 2022 by Perdu 1
stillafool Posted April 11, 2022 Posted April 11, 2022 4 hours ago, Angel29 said: How shall I act around him at work as when he interacts he gets me flustered and that stresses me out too and I hope he doesn't sense this. I don't need drama and only want a genuine man in my life. Do you actually like this guy? I thought you said he's aged a lot in 12 months.
Ami1uwant Posted April 11, 2022 Posted April 11, 2022 37 minutes ago, stillafool said: Do you actually like this guy? I thought you said he's aged a lot in 12 months. its supply chain issues with things out of stock.. 2
basil67 Posted April 12, 2022 Posted April 12, 2022 2 hours ago, Ami1uwant said: its supply chain issues with things out of stock.. Wait....are you the OP under a different username?
Ami1uwant Posted April 12, 2022 Posted April 12, 2022 9 minutes ago, basil67 said: Wait....are you the OP under a different username? No….it was a joke you missed he aged so much is because thing like hair coloring agents, hair transplants, skin fixing materials, Botox, etc ran out of stock 2
Versacehottie Posted April 12, 2022 Posted April 12, 2022 (edited) 9 hours ago, Angel29 said: I don't need drama and only want a genuine man in my life. If that is the case, why are you fixating on this guy? He's married. The simplest, least complicated, most productive thing for YOU is to focus on available people. And only available ones where it's clear...not make something or wish something or attach to something just because it/he is in your eyeline and vicinity. You owe this to yourself to make more effort and find someone who is truly available and wants to date you. Edited April 12, 2022 by Versacehottie 1
poppyfields Posted April 12, 2022 Posted April 12, 2022 (edited) 10 hours ago, Angel29 said: I have noticed he will always give me a lingering look.. Lately when he has said hello to me he quietens his voice and looks coy when he says it. Last week he quietly said how are you 'bab'? I think you should tell all this to your HR manager because a director (your superior) calling you "bab'," giving you lingering looks and behaving coyly is highly inappropriate and a form of sexual harassment. Especially considering it's got you frazzled and may impact your ability to work and do your job. I would not assume you are the first woman he's behaved inappropriately with, the guy sounds like a lech and married to boot. Be smart and refrain from falling for his game. And report him.. Edited April 12, 2022 by poppyfields
basil67 Posted April 12, 2022 Posted April 12, 2022 3 hours ago, Ami1uwant said: No….it was a joke you missed he aged so much is because thing like hair coloring agents, hair transplants, skin fixing materials, Botox, etc ran out of stock Yep, that one sailed overhead....
glows Posted April 12, 2022 Posted April 12, 2022 22 hours ago, Angel29 said: How shall I act around him at work as when he interacts he gets me flustered and that stresses me out too and I hope he doesn't sense this. I don't need drama and only want a genuine man in my life. If he’s inappropriate and womanizing find another job. He may or may not be married yet the fact that he’s all over the place and seemingly inappropriate in his attention towards you acting coy and too familiar should signal to you that he’s not dating material. Regardless of whatever is going on in his personal life how exactly do you respect a man let alone an authority figure like that. Please aim higher.
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