Why does he do this

[Daisy019]

I've been dating the same man for 4 years he tells me he loves and is in love with me when we go out everything is good he shows me attention and everything but when we run in to someone he knows he tells them that I'm his friend not his girlfriend this drives me crazy why does he do this

[Wiseman2]

7 hours ago, Daisy019 said:

 when we run in to someone he knows he tells them that I'm his friend not his girlfriend 

How old is he? Is there a cultural or language difference? 

How well do you know him? Have you met any of his friends and family? 

 

[glows]

12 hours ago, Daisy019 said:

I've been dating the same man for 4 years he tells me he loves and is in love with me when we go out everything is good he shows me attention and everything but when we run in to someone he knows he tells them that I'm his friend not his girlfriend this drives me crazy why does he do this

Have you discussed this with him? Does he have kids or previously married? 

[salparadise]

Perhaps because he prefers to be less specific. I've seen this done many times and I don't think it's unusual at all... people obviously in a relationship just introduce the other as their friend. Usually the other party intuits the situation. It just a way of being a bit less loquacious. I wouldn't think too much of it.

[FMW]

When my guy introduces me, most of the time he just says "This is FMW", titles don't need to be used most of the time.  I do the same when

 introducing him.   I wouldn't like it if he said "my friend, FMW".  It would make me feel he wanted to make sure the other person didn't assume we were more.  

I'm also regularly referred to, by him, as his girlfriend though.  Does the guy you're dating ever identify you as more than just a friend?

[Happy Lemming]

It might have to do with the jurisdiction you live in and the laws in your area.  If a couple presents as "husband and wife" and does not correct the people they interact with, some "common law" jurisdictions may try to construe that they are common law married.  Although, I've never heard of this for girlfriend vs. friend. 

I do know some senior citizens that will refer to their boyfriend or girlfriend as a "special friend" as they feel the term girlfriend or boyfriend is too juvenile.

Even though we are older, I have no problem referring to my long term girlfriend as "girlfriend" when we are around other people.

[FMW]

I feel awkward calling my guy my boyfriend for exactly the reason @Happy Lemming brought up, we're in our late 50s.  But he doesn't seem to have any problem calling me his girlfriend, and I have to admit I like that.  

But I still wouldn't identify him as a friend or special friend - because he's much more than that.  I don't use a title to introduce him, but when talking about him I usually say "the guy I'm involved with".   

@Daisy019 just ask him why he introduces you that way, and let him know how it makes you feel.  No one but him knows why he does it.  

 

[Just A Man]

I agree with the several that seem to think it might be done with no harm intended.  If you haven't spoken to him he might not realize that it bothers you, and he might simply conform to what makes you feel more comfortable.  For some people stating a relationship is awkward for them or the other, as it implies a physical thing that they might feel should be kept to the couple and let others assume.

 

That and people are strange.  And I say that reflecting on how strange and quirky I can be.   

[stillafool]

You are just going to have to find the courage to ask him why he doesn't introduce you as his gf.  That's the only way to find out why he doesn't do this already.

[ExpatInItaly]

On 4/10/2022 at 3:55 AM, Daisy019 said:

he tells them that I'm his friend not his girlfriend

After 4 years, that would bother me. It's not the same as simply saying, "This is Your Name Here."

Have you asked him?