Keeves1 Posted April 8, 2022 Posted April 8, 2022 (edited) Hello! It’s Keeves here Coming by here to say thank you to everyone who has been helpful with their advice and most importantly you for taking your time! It’s been two months since I last posted about sex problems but it’s all good now. But! I’ve always wrote that I would update you on how our relationship is going but never got a chance to do it! Been working full time and Maria takes up much of my free time to. I’ve also gone through some as well! I’ve have been visiting a psychologist since last year to check if I have adaptive disorder and got the answer today and yes it turns out I do have that so I’ve been diagnosed with that. other than that everything seems to be okay if I say so myself. Every relationship has their up and downs and I still do feel like it’s a rollercoaster lol some days I feel unhappy and some days I feel happy it’s just the way it is. I don’t know if I should actually care about our heated discussion that we had lately but It doesn’t hurt to get a second opinion. I do suspect that Maria is gaslighting me and it’s very difficult for me to explain to her exactly how because I can’t remember things as good as I used to be.. it might be due to my age (26) but my memory falls short so I always say to her that "my feelings are saying" rather than pointing out what she does that relates to gaslighting. Again can’t really explain here either and I know it won’t help much cause it’s lacking information at that department. Since I were suspecting Maria of said behaviour I also told her that I found a website that we should look through together to see if me or her has gaslighted each other now or at some point in our relationship but she were quick to shut it down saying that I don’t know what gaslighting is and that all that I’m reading out loud to her is non existing to her and that it is not true. Were the rest of the convo went I can’t remember but it seems like I was the reason to blame for all this fight and discussion we are having. She even went as far as saying "You don’t have a lot of friends and to be honest you are the reason for it" she then proceeded to keep talking «It’s because you can’t take a joke and your expectation on how people should treat you is way to high and unrealistic. People can’t fulfill that. I’m a guy that are highly reserved person and likes my personal space. Been bullied for many years so yeah that it a little bit of me but I’m not going to go much longer. To be honest, yes it is the truth but it’s also hurts. However it’s better to know the truth from her than other people that I don’t know. We ended the convo and agreed that I should lower my expectation as this was her request. I still do think that she is gaslighting me but since I don’t have any examples of which situation it have happened I will update this forum as soon as I can. If that is the case I’m for sure going to end our 2 years relationship because gaslighting is not acceptable. Kind regards, Keeves Edited April 8, 2022 by a LoveShack.org Moderator formatting
Author Keeves1 Posted April 8, 2022 Author Posted April 8, 2022 2 minutes ago, Ami1uwant said: What do you think gas lighting is? I think that gaslighting is a way of manipulating a person just to acquire power of them
Ami1uwant Posted April 8, 2022 Posted April 8, 2022 7 minutes ago, Keeves1 said: I think that gaslighting is a way of manipulating a person just to acquire power of them https://www.verywellmind.com/is-someone-gaslighting-you-4147470 1
basil67 Posted April 8, 2022 Posted April 8, 2022 (edited) Gaslighting is where someone makes you doubt your own memory or perspective of a situation. Is this what's happening? It's interesting that you mention your memory issues. My friend always thought that her husband was gaslighting her when he was telling her that her memories of things in the past were incorrect. He eventually had a psych consult (for a different reason) and it was found that his memory was impaired, and as such, he really didn't remember things how they really happened. So, he wasn't deliberately gaslighting her - rather his memory of the events had failed. In light of this, if your memory is failing, it's entirely likely that you are inadvertently misremembering things. And 26 is far too young to have an age related memory issue. I think it's very important that you get your memory assessed (along with causes) before you take any action here. Edited April 8, 2022 by basil67 1
BaileyB Posted April 8, 2022 Posted April 8, 2022 (edited) I doubt that your memory is failing at 26 years old OP. Edited April 8, 2022 by BaileyB
balletomane Posted April 8, 2022 Posted April 8, 2022 From what I remember of your previous posts, OP, you do have a tendency to obsess over tiny details in your girlfriend's behaviour (e.g. all the possible negative things it might mean if she stares at something or happens to frown). Is there a chance that you're overanalysing things here? Because if this is the case, it explains why she doesn't want to hear you picking her behaviour apart and looking for deep motives in it. 1
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