Happy Lemming Posted March 28, 2022 Posted March 28, 2022 4 hours ago, LoveComplexity said: and said to give her some time and space that she needs to think about the whole thing etc... When someone says they need space, I'm gone. I tell them I'm not going to be your Plan B or Plan C, because that is what she is doing to you (attempting to date other people). If nothing better comes along, I guess you'll do -- for now. No thank you, I'm worth more than that. Tell her to take her time and space and shove it. You're gone. My advice... shower up, get back out there and find someone who wants you for you. Someone who will not to place you on the back burner. 3
glows Posted March 28, 2022 Posted March 28, 2022 11 minutes ago, Happy Lemming said: When someone says they need space, I'm gone. I tell them I'm not going to be your Plan B or Plan C, because that is what she is doing to you (attempting to date other people). If nothing better comes along, I guess you'll do -- for now. No thank you, I'm worth more than that. I agree. It’s time to let go. 2
ExpatInItaly Posted March 29, 2022 Posted March 29, 2022 10 hours ago, LoveComplexity said: but no relationship is perfect, you just need two people to work on them.. And she doesn't want to work on it This is over, man. Don't wait around for her contact you. 2
Author LoveComplexity Posted March 29, 2022 Author Posted March 29, 2022 You guys do have good points, but you all know that when you have strong feelings for someone its not as easy as it sounds.
stillafool Posted March 29, 2022 Posted March 29, 2022 20 hours ago, LoveComplexity said: she has many expectations that I will read her mind at times, and is angry later, Who wants to be with someone like this? She basically expects you to walk on eggshells. Stop giving into her wishes and let her go. You will be surprised that once she sees you mean it by walking away she will probably come running to you. If she needs 2 weeks to decide if she wants to be with you give her forever to decide. Is there another man she also likes that she wants to see what's happening with before she settles for you? 1
glows Posted March 29, 2022 Posted March 29, 2022 3 hours ago, LoveComplexity said: You guys do have good points, but you all know that when you have strong feelings for someone its not as easy as it sounds. It's been two years and she told you that she's not willing to try anymore. Unless her intent/tone changes, this is over. The problem is that you've been trying very hard to keep it going and possibly even putting up with someone's temper and resentment towards you for awhile. It's not actually her that's a loss although that's what it may feel like at first. She's no loss if she opts out of your life. What you will be left with though is having to reflect on why you were with someone who treated you like this for awhile or neglected the relationship or got angry with you in bursts of "rage" or didn't like you as you are. You get to decide also the people you want in your life and it doesn't have to be people like that. 1
dramafreezone Posted March 29, 2022 Posted March 29, 2022 (edited) 3 hours ago, LoveComplexity said: You guys do have good points, but you all know that when you have strong feelings for someone its not as easy as it sounds. Absolutely, I definitely understand. It's easy for strangers to tell you to break it off because they don't have the emotional attachment, but believe me all of us have been there and held on to something much longer than we should have. It's not something we can simply will ourselves out of feeling. Cut yourself some slack and and understand that it is hard to break it off with a woman you love, and that will help lay the framework for a plan going forward. I strongly believe that guys take breakups tougher than women do. We're taught that we should be tough and so we deal with breakouts largely alone. It's really tough so tap into your support system during this time. That is something I think women tend to understand and do much better than we guys do, they have friends that support them during breakups. Edited March 29, 2022 by dramafreezone 1
Author LoveComplexity Posted March 29, 2022 Author Posted March 29, 2022 14 minutes ago, glows said: It's been two years and she told you that she's not willing to try anymore. Unless her intent/tone changes, this is over. The problem is that you've been trying very hard to keep it going and possibly even putting up with someone's temper and resentment towards you for awhile. It's not actually her that's a loss although that's what it may feel like at first. She's no loss if she opts out of your life. What you will be left with though is having to reflect on why you were with someone who treated you like this for awhile or neglected the relationship or got angry with you in bursts of "rage" or didn't like you as you are. You get to decide also the people you want in your life and it doesn't have to be people like that. Yeah I did put up with alot of stuff... it was because I loved her and didn't want to lose her... so I just kind of tried to ignore it and not make a big deal out of it.
Happy Lemming Posted March 29, 2022 Posted March 29, 2022 3 hours ago, LoveComplexity said: You guys do have good points, but you all know that when you have strong feelings for someone its not as easy as it sounds. Every time I've been in your situation and thought a better woman will never come along, one did. When dating someone stops being fun and starts causing you grief or angst... you leave. Plenty of fish in the sea... I know that is an old saying, but it is soooo true!! 1
glows Posted March 29, 2022 Posted March 29, 2022 9 minutes ago, LoveComplexity said: Yeah I did put up with alot of stuff... it was because I loved her and didn't want to lose her... so I just kind of tried to ignore it and not make a big deal out of it. Then go back to this part(bold). We can learn from our history and change the outcome in future relationships. The hard work is reflecting on the things that you did neglect or refused to see early on because you didn't want to lose her. What does losing someone who treats you badly mean? It's an opportunity for new growth and setting yourself free. There's no difference in the heartache between men and women. I believe we all hurt just the same but response times may vary. You can take your time and reflect on all these things and it doesn't make you a failure as a person either. You just have one more tool in your toolbox learning to decipher and choose relationships that are conducive to you and help you grow forward. 1
smackie9 Posted March 30, 2022 Posted March 30, 2022 On 3/29/2022 at 7:01 AM, LoveComplexity said: You guys do have good points, but you all know that when you have strong feelings for someone its not as easy as it sounds. We know that...that's why we are inundating you with these posts...to help push you along. 1
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