JayKay Posted October 23, 2005 Posted October 23, 2005 My BF and I got a call this morning that a friend of ours had taken his own life. At 32 years of age, he had what seemed to be the perfect life. A booming career, a huge house, lots of friends, a wife and a son. Yet he shot himself last night and died before anyone could call 911. We are bewildered. We can't fathom what happened - naturally wonder what had been going on below the surface. Had he been depressed? Was his marriage going bad? Was he in financial trouble? What could possibly have driven him to it? He was the last person you would ever think was struggling with depression or anxiety. In fact, he seemed to have little tolerance for moodiness in general. He was a big, larger-than-life blustery kind of guy who seemed to grab life by the horns and genuinely enjoy it. We are just blown away. My BF is particularly upset because he is a therapist. He wonders why his friend couldn't have confided in him if he were feeling desperate? They were not close close friends, but they knew each other well enough to talk about a number of personal things. I feel so sorry for his son, most of all. His son saw his father on the floor of his house, bleeding (according to the the accounts we've gotten). His son is 12 and I can only imagine the rough road he has ahead of him. True life is really stranger than fiction. Anyway, if anyone has ever dealt with a similar situation, I'd like to hear your input
whichwayisup Posted October 23, 2005 Posted October 23, 2005 I'm very sorry for your loss. It's really difficult dealing with suicide as so many emotions come up and alot of confusion too. All I can say is I hope his son gets the help he needs because what he went through seeing his father and also ofcourse losing him, has done alot of harm. I hope your boyfriend isn't blaming himself...Noone could have seen this coming and I hate to say it but if someone wants to commit suicide they will do it eventually. Maybe he was quietly suffering with depression, maybe it was work...I'm sure his wife and family, let alone all friends/neighbours feel awful and wonder what happened to drive him to do such a thing. It's too bad he kept it to himself. Reaching out could have helped hopefully. Again, sorry for your loss. I hope they plan a nice service for him - Celebrate his life.
westernxer Posted October 23, 2005 Posted October 23, 2005 Reminds me of that famous poem, "Richard Cory." http://www.bartleby.com/104/45.html
Author JayKay Posted October 23, 2005 Author Posted October 23, 2005 That's funny. I thought of that poem too
Gold Pile Posted October 24, 2005 Posted October 24, 2005 To some, a wife, big house, and a kid are a domestic prison of responsibility and lack of freedom. I never understood people who make their final exit in such a way as to ensure they are found by family. Complete inconsideration or a hostile act? Anyway, sincerly sorry for you're loss.
lindya Posted October 24, 2005 Posted October 24, 2005 ? He was the last person you would ever think was struggling with depression or anxiety. In fact, he seemed to have little tolerance for moodiness in general. Perhaps those are the people who would perhaps find depression hardest to cope with - and be least forgiving of themselves for suffering from it. I'm so sorry to hear about this. I'm sure if your friend thought there was any solution to whatever drove him to this, he would have sought help from someone - but it's horrifying that his little boy witnessed this
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