JamesLands Posted March 27, 2022 Posted March 27, 2022 Hi, I will start by explaining the situation, 6 years ago i met this girl in my class. We saw each other a few time and things we're great we never got together but i felt this immediate connection/chemistry with her. We had cuddled and talked a lot about our personal stuff and i even told her i liked her at the time. We fought and stopped speaking. Now bring it back to a few weeks ago, i decided to contact her again to see how she was doin and we spoke a few time over the phone all nights till the sunrise. then we went out to a restaurant. Then we came back to her place where the same feeling of chemistry hit me, we spoke all night, cuddling and so on. She told me that we could see each other again if I wanted to, which i said yes to. We even planned activities together for this summer. Am i crazy for thinking what im thinking is mutual or just me overthinking? I do not want to fall into the ''friend-zone'' and since i havent been dating or even try to date since my last break up a year ago, i do not know how to proceed. Should i just tell her im interested in her? Or is that too clingy? She also told me about a gift that she always wanted from someone she liked that she never actually received, should i try to get it and gift it at the end of our second date? Sorry bad english not primary language.
salparadise Posted March 27, 2022 Posted March 27, 2022 (edited) Nah, don't do any of that stuff. Just continue communicating and the next time you get the chance, lay a big kiss on her. Spontaneously. No need to telegraph your move. If she responds positively, great. If she won't let you kiss her, something is amiss and you should make yourself scarce. Even if things go well, don't go confessing feelings early. Don't be a pleaser, be confident and assertive. Consider yourself equal and entitled to reciprocity if things are to go forward. Edited March 27, 2022 by salparadise
ExpatInItaly Posted March 28, 2022 Posted March 28, 2022 9 hours ago, JamesLands said: Should i just tell her im interested in her? This isn't necessary. She will know, if you continue to initiate and ask her out (and give her the chance to do the same) 9 hours ago, JamesLands said: She also told me about a gift that she always wanted from someone she liked that she never actually received, should i try to get it and gift it at the end of our second date? No, it's way too soon for that. Don't get ahead of yourself here. See how the next few weeks unfold. Be yourself and don't go overboard in trying to win her affection. This is the time to observe if you really are a match, rather than trying to nail her down before you even know if you mesh well on a romantic level.
smackie9 Posted March 28, 2022 Posted March 28, 2022 Just ask her out on dates. That's how she will know you are interested in her. Second date, when you cuddle, go for a kiss. If she pulls back be done with her.
Wiseman2 Posted March 28, 2022 Posted March 28, 2022 20 hours ago, JamesLands said: we came back to her place where the same feeling of chemistry hit me, we spoke all night, cuddling and so on. She told me that we could see each other again if I wanted to I do not want to fall into the ''friend-zone'' All of what you describe doesn't seem like the friendzone. Be patient and let the affection grow.
glows Posted March 28, 2022 Posted March 28, 2022 (edited) 20 hours ago, JamesLands said: Hi, I will start by explaining the situation, 6 years ago i met this girl in my class. We saw each other a few time and things we're great we never got together but i felt this immediate connection/chemistry with her. We had cuddled and talked a lot about our personal stuff and i even told her i liked her at the time. We fought and stopped speaking. Now bring it back to a few weeks ago, i decided to contact her again to see how she was doin and we spoke a few time over the phone all nights till the sunrise. then we went out to a restaurant. Then we came back to her place where the same feeling of chemistry hit me, we spoke all night, cuddling and so on. She told me that we could see each other again if I wanted to, which i said yes to. We even planned activities together for this summer. Am i crazy for thinking what im thinking is mutual or just me overthinking? I do not want to fall into the ''friend-zone'' and since i havent been dating or even try to date since my last break up a year ago, i do not know how to proceed. Should i just tell her im interested in her? Or is that too clingy? She also told me about a gift that she always wanted from someone she liked that she never actually received, should i try to get it and gift it at the end of our second date? Sorry bad english not primary language. Ask her out on dates and keep them short and fun. What are you both talking about until sunrise? Do either of you work or not have to go to class? Interactions like this usually fizzle out quickly after you’ve both or one of you grow disinterested because it’s too much too soon. Treat her with respect and expect none less yourself. Ask her out on short dates and enjoy the time together. Keep your lives balanced. Save the gift idea for later. It seems too soon and it’s strange she would bring it up as if fishing for it. Edited March 28, 2022 by glows
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