noclobber Posted October 23, 2005 Posted October 23, 2005 It's generally believed/said that if a guy becomes a woman's friend then he is most likely to remain like that forever. He can never become her boyfriend even if he wants to. He is stuck in the friend zone! I do agree with this but i have come across lot of people that actually started as friends before they became romantically involved. So my question is, to what extent is this true. Also, i am wondering whether women ever face this "stuck in a friend zone" problem at all.
Carol Lyn Posted October 23, 2005 Posted October 23, 2005 I have been stuck in the dreaded friend zone. I am a girl and guys tend to see me as one of the guys. I love sports, I'm an engineer, and I tend to get along better with guys. Several times I've been attracted to one of my friends and have thought about pursuing relationships, but they never saw me as anything but one of the guys. Luckily I met my boyfriend and we were both instantly attracted, otherwise we would be friends first and it probably would have never happened. He would have just thought of me as one of the guys, now he still does but with attraction.
elijahBailey Posted October 23, 2005 Posted October 23, 2005 the guy was probably never truly in her friends zone if they eventually become romantically involved. For me, as a guy, and on a few occasions, I've found myself having feelings for someone that I initially had no feelings for. Can't explain it. As for being placed in a woman's friends zone, I think we're not totally helpless. I think there's some room to maneuver. Don't become too close to her, keep her guessing wha'cha thinkin' always, be nasty once in a while. This prevents you from being put in her friend zone immediately while she unconsciously assesses the situation. And, most importantly, be confident. A guy is usually put in the friends zone because he lacks the confidence. And when you lack the confidence, that basically means you're like another one of her girlfriends.
Author noclobber Posted October 23, 2005 Author Posted October 23, 2005 the guy was probably never truly in her friends zone if they eventually become romantically involved. For me, as a guy, and on a few occasions, I've found myself having feelings for someone that I initially had no feelings for. Can't explain it. As for being placed in a woman's friends zone, I think we're not totally helpless. I think there's some room to maneuver. Don't become too close to her, keep her guessing wha'cha thinkin' always, be nasty once in a while. This prevents you from being put in her friend zone immediately while she unconsciously assesses the situation. And, most importantly, be confident. A guy is usually put in the friends zone because he lacks the confidence. And when you lack the confidence, that basically means you're like another one of her girlfriends. hi eb, when u say confidence what exactly do u mean? i have come across this in a lot of places. to be successful with women guys need to be confident. ok so, what specifically does it mean? is it that u have to be comfortable around them without being nervous? carry urself well?
kitkat826 Posted October 23, 2005 Posted October 23, 2005 With me, I know right away if I'm attracted to a guy or would be interested in him romantically/physically. I have made the first move on most of the guys I have dated (or at least have set up situations where the move would be made on me). If you are in my friend zone, you are more or less there to stay. I have never hooked up with or dated anybody who was my friend first.
Neptune Posted October 23, 2005 Posted October 23, 2005 It`s said that first impressions form lasting impressions. That is true when you first interact with a woman. It is also said that you teach others how to treat you. So, when you get in the friend zone with a woman it is largely because of the way YOU have behaved around her. You taught her what your role was. Not that you wanted it to be that way. But once there it is hard to reverse her image of you and there is also a friendship to consider. How many times does a woman say she didn`t want to destroy a friendship?
Author noclobber Posted October 23, 2005 Author Posted October 23, 2005 It`s said that first impressions form lasting impressions. That is true when you first interact with a woman. It is also said that you teach others how to treat you. So, when you get in the friend zone with a woman it is largely because of the way YOU have behaved around her. You taught her what your role was. Not that you wanted it to be that way. But once there it is hard to reverse her image of you and there is also a friendship to consider. How many times does a woman say she didn`t want to destroy a friendship? okay, as naive as this may sound how exactly wud a guy who just wants to be friends with a woman behave and how exactly wud a guy that is interested in a woman behave (or shud behave)?
Neptune Posted October 23, 2005 Posted October 23, 2005 One thing about a guy being called a friend by a woman. Take your case with this gal you mentioned in another thread. You know the one the finally said she had a boyfriend in Philly or some place? See, the catch to it was you were never really her friend in the first place. Because if you were she would share all that kind of stuff with you. Most of the time when a guy is friends with a gal he has a romantic eye for he is in a special catagory called the friend zone. The truth is you are mostly being used when in the friend zone. So, the bottom line, most of the time you got there by ACCOMODATING her. She is calling the shots and you allow it. True firendships are a give and take scenario.
Author noclobber Posted October 23, 2005 Author Posted October 23, 2005 One thing about a guy being called a friend by a woman. Take your case with this gal you mentioned in another thread. You know the one the finally said she had a boyfriend in Philly or some place? See, the catch to it was you were never really her friend in the first place. Because if you were she would share all that kind of stuff with you. Most of the time when a guy is friends with a gal he has a romantic eye for he is in a special catagory called the friend zone. The truth is you are mostly being used when in the friend zone. So, the bottom line, most of the time you got there by ACCOMODATING her. She is calling the shots and you allow it. True firendships are a give and take scenario. okay i think i get the point! its nice that u cited my other thread as an example. u r correct by telling that i was not a friend to her b'cos she hid the fact that she had a boyfriend in Philly. if i am ur friend why won't u tell me about ur boyfriend? not even once does she mention about him.. well anyway.. i have never allowed her to take advantage of me in any way. we pay by ourselves whenever we go out.. i have not spent even a dime for her so far.. in fact i owe her $100 on a general basis i believe there is an important thing for a guy that is friends with a woman. u can be her friend and still be interested in her... but if she uses u as a shoulder to cry on, for emotional support, talk about her boyfriend or other guys that she is interested in then i think u got to run!
elijahBailey Posted October 24, 2005 Posted October 24, 2005 hi eb, when u say confidence what exactly do u mean? i have come across this in a lot of places. to be successful with women guys need to be confident. ok so, what specifically does it mean? is it that u have to be comfortable around them without being nervous? carry urself well? not exactly sure how to put it into words. But it's like you calling the shots and as opposed to her calling the shots. not even once does she mention about him.. well anyway.. i have never allowed her to take advantage of me in any way. we pay by ourselves whenever we go out.. i have not spent even a dime for her so far.. in fact i owe her $100 : : but if she uses u as a shoulder to cry on, for emotional support, talk about her boyfriend or other guys that she is interested in then i think u got to run! see, you DO know how to play it
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