LostIntuition Posted March 20, 2022 Posted March 20, 2022 Well tonight I ended up staying home an extra day before a staycation at my friends house about 45 mins away. He played video games which was fine because I was keeping busy and playing with our guinea pigs. I found a lump on ones cheek and started freaking out looking for charities that may help if she needs surgery to keep her eating and drinking. After a while he left the room and just disappeared for a bit. When he came back later he turned out the light and I was talking about the situation and what I had and mostly hadn't found. We may have to surrender her to get her care. I told him I had a big headache and could he please rub my neck. I tried to pull myself together and apologized for crying he patted me and held my hand a minute then kissed me goodnight saying I didnt have to be and turned away to sleep. I'm not sure if it was he was too tired to deal or he thought few minutes of I'm sorry was enough but I just wanted to feel close and comforted. I feel mad and sad like I felt placated not really close it makes me feel .... like I want him to feel how I do.
Wiseman2 Posted March 20, 2022 Posted March 20, 2022 (edited) 46 minutes ago, LostIntuition said: . He played video games which was fine because I was keeping busy and playing with our guinea pigs. .. I told him I had a big headache and could he please rub my neck. How long have you been dating? Do you live together? If so, for how long? Take your pet to a veterinarian. That's the most compassionate thing to do. How is your relationship overall? What, exactly, is bothering you about him? No attention? No affection? No sex? Poor communication? You seem to have a lot of vague complaints from headaches to concerns about your pets health to your BF. The best place to start is an evaluation of your physical and mental health from a physician. Discuss the headaches, anxiety and overall issues. Ask for a referral to a qualified therapist for ongoing support. How old is your BF? Edited March 20, 2022 by Wiseman2
glows Posted March 20, 2022 Posted March 20, 2022 4 hours ago, LostIntuition said: Well tonight I ended up staying home an extra day before a staycation at my friends house about 45 mins away. He played video games which was fine because I was keeping busy and playing with our guinea pigs. I found a lump on ones cheek and started freaking out looking for charities that may help if she needs surgery to keep her eating and drinking. After a while he left the room and just disappeared for a bit. When he came back later he turned out the light and I was talking about the situation and what I had and mostly hadn't found. We may have to surrender her to get her care. I told him I had a big headache and could he please rub my neck. I tried to pull myself together and apologized for crying he patted me and held my hand a minute then kissed me goodnight saying I didnt have to be and turned away to sleep. I'm not sure if it was he was too tired to deal or he thought few minutes of I'm sorry was enough but I just wanted to feel close and comforted. I feel mad and sad like I felt placated not really close it makes me feel .... like I want him to feel how I do. If you’re considering surrendering the pet for care I’m assuming you’re not able to cover the vet bills. You’ll both have to cross that bridge when it comes. Do you usually have frequent headaches? See a doctor if this continues. Take better care. There’s not much your boyfriend can do for you if you or your pet need medical attention. Don’t make any decisions about the relationship when either of you are tired at the end of the day. Think this over in the coming week. 1
smackie9 Posted March 20, 2022 Posted March 20, 2022 How is that constructive for him to feel the way you do? and why should he? Obviously he's invested in you or he would have done nothing to comfort you....he's going to be the calm one, and wait and see...it could be nothing and so why get ahead of yourself with worry. It could just be an abscess and just needs medication so I say learn to be a positive person. Being positive keeps you mentally healthy. 1
Happy Lemming Posted March 20, 2022 Posted March 20, 2022 12 hours ago, LostIntuition said: He played video games... Does he play with other children's toys?? Things like "fidget spinners"?? Or similar toys (like the game controller) that keep his hands occupied?? 1
Agentra Posted March 21, 2022 Posted March 21, 2022 (edited) If you expected more from your partner, have an open conversation about it with him. If you cannot do that then your relationship is very broken, love. That being said, I myself own 6 guineas right now and my heart jumped when I read about your pigwig! Please if you cannot afford vet bills, find any way you can to get your little one help asap. Perhaps you can agree on a payment plan with the vets, or like you said, give up the piggy. It's heartbreaking, but it is best for you animal. If your pig isn't eating/drinking, immediately step in with syringe feeding critical care/mushed up pellets with water. It could be an abscess, dental issue, I imagine there is pain present there either way. Hope you update us! Edited March 21, 2022 by Agentra
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