Alpacalia Posted March 19, 2022 Posted March 19, 2022 (edited) If someone asks you "how’s the dating scene treating you," what is a good response? I assume you just be honest with your response, yes? Edited March 19, 2022 by Alpaca
Happy Lemming Posted March 19, 2022 Posted March 19, 2022 4 minutes ago, Alpaca said: I assume you just be honest in your response, yes? Sometimes honesty isn't always the best policy... Do you think the person was trying to set you up with somebody?? I might respond with "It's been hits and misses" and hope they didn't ask for more information or want me to elaborate. 1
Author Alpacalia Posted March 19, 2022 Author Posted March 19, 2022 3 minutes ago, Happy Lemming said: Do you think the person was trying to set you up with somebody?? I might respond with "It's been hits and misses" and hope they didn't ask for more information or want me to elaborate. No, a man I have been corresponding with already that I'm going out on a date with.
Happy Lemming Posted March 20, 2022 Posted March 20, 2022 Just now, Alpaca said: No, a man I have been corresponding with already that I'm going out on a date with. Then I suggest... "some hits and some misses" -- You can never go wrong with a baseball analogy!! Especially since the baseball strike is now over and Spring Training has started -- "Play Ball" 2
poppyfields Posted March 20, 2022 Posted March 20, 2022 (edited) Alpaca, I've been asked this question or some variation thereof and I usually respond "good and bad like everything in life. But I'm resilient and able to bounce back quick when thrown a lemon, lol. And you"? It's the truth, no reason to lie about it imo. I've learned to stop walking on eggshells with men a long time ago. When asked hard questions, I say my piece as honestly and genuinely as I can. And respectfully. Edited March 20, 2022 by poppyfields 1
Author Alpacalia Posted March 20, 2022 Author Posted March 20, 2022 (edited) Yes, that makes sense. I felt like it might be a trick question. I thought "oh snap, how to respond to this one, ." Edited March 20, 2022 by Alpaca
poppyfields Posted March 20, 2022 Posted March 20, 2022 (edited) 16 minutes ago, Alpaca said: Yes, that makes sense. I felt like it might be a trick question. I was like "oh snap, how to respond to this one, ." Like some sort of test? And if you don't answer "correctly," you're out? If so, I used to feel that way, but I've learned there is no 'right" answer to such questions. Speak your truth genuinely, not because you think it's what a man needs to here to continue dating you. Assuming that's what you're doing, I used to think this way so perhaps I'm projecting. But I have to say, once I stopped trying to please random men I just started dating and began speaking my truth from my heart and soul, not worrying about their reaction, I've been a lot more successful, my dating experiences much more positive. Men, people, admire genuineness and realness, it allows them to feel they can be genuine and real with you, and that's huge! Ok that was a ramble, lol hopefully you know what I mean. Edited March 20, 2022 by poppyfields 1
Happy Lemming Posted March 20, 2022 Posted March 20, 2022 47 minutes ago, Alpaca said: I felt like it might be a trick question. I think it was just a throw-away question... something to say when he was stuck and couldn't figure out what to say next. 1
basil67 Posted March 20, 2022 Posted March 20, 2022 It probably wasn't a trick question, but by the same token, the answer tells us a lot about the person. @poppyfields answer is terrific. It's both relatable and positive. On the contrary, if a person answers with a complain about how everyone they date are timewasters and they are really tired of being used, this would be a deal breaker for me. A person who says they've dated many and not found anything good may be too picky. If they report that everyone dumps them, then they are the problem. If they date sparingly, I'd be inclined to meet. I guess to sum it up, always putting your best foot forward when meeting others is a great way to go. 1
Weezy1973 Posted March 20, 2022 Posted March 20, 2022 Yes I’d just be honest. This is an opportunity to bond with another single who’s struggled dating. Keep it positive. 2
ShyViolet Posted March 20, 2022 Posted March 20, 2022 That's a very loaded question when it's being asked by someone you are going on a date with. It sounds like they are fishing for information or want to know if you are dating other people. Which is kind of none of their business. It's best to give a neutral answer and not get into detail. Just like it's bad form to talk a lot about exes or about dating other people to someone who is a potential love interest. 3
Author Alpacalia Posted March 20, 2022 Author Posted March 20, 2022 (edited) 59 minutes ago, ShyViolet said: That's a very loaded question when it's being asked by someone you are going on a date with. It sounds like they are fishing for information or want to know if you are dating other people. Agree. It also seemed a bit pre-emptive to me. But all is good. I responded, and he responded positively. Edited March 20, 2022 by Alpaca
Mrin Posted March 20, 2022 Posted March 20, 2022 I always tell the truth when asked this question. "I enjoy meeting people. Since I've been dating I've met some wonderful women. Some never went past the first date. Some were just friendly. Some led to more dates. None of them were 'the one' obviously. But, I enjoyed meeting them none the less." 2
ExpatInItaly Posted March 20, 2022 Posted March 20, 2022 4 hours ago, Happy Lemming said: I think it was just a throw-away question... something to say when he was stuck and couldn't figure out what to say next. This. I doubt he thought much of the question. Just making conversation. As such, don't read too much into your own response. 2
Wiseman2 Posted March 20, 2022 Posted March 20, 2022 7 hours ago, Alpaca said: I felt like it might be a trick question. Deflect loaded questions with a question. For example: "same ol, same ol, what about you?" Never responded to loaded questions like this directly. Treat indirectness with indirectness. 1
Author Alpacalia Posted March 20, 2022 Author Posted March 20, 2022 I did good! I made a quick, in-the-moment, kind-of witty reply. He said he had a big grin on his face. Besides, there's something kind of nice about not knowing about his dating life while he doesn't know about mine. 2
Wiseman2 Posted March 20, 2022 Posted March 20, 2022 10 hours ago, Alpaca said: that I'm going out on a date with. When is the date? Slow down on the predate texting. While some banter is fun, you need to date in person, no?
Author Alpacalia Posted March 20, 2022 Author Posted March 20, 2022 56 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said: When is the date? Slow down on the predate texting. While some banter is fun, you need to date in person, no? It's not that much texting. We don't want to overwhelm each other with texts or phone calls since our next date is fast approaching. I just wasn't sure if those types of questions (the one he asked) were typical this early on.
Wiseman2 Posted March 20, 2022 Posted March 20, 2022 9 minutes ago, Alpaca said: our next date is fast approaching. Excellent . Enjoy the date. Where are you going for the date? Just sidestep weird questions with humor. If this is a second date, why is he asking that? 1
glows Posted March 20, 2022 Posted March 20, 2022 14 hours ago, Alpaca said: If someone asks you "how’s the dating scene treating you," what is a good response? I assume you just be honest with your response, yes? “Well, thank you. And you?” This is superficial small talk type of question to break the ice. No additional info required. Nearly everyone asks it online dating because it’s less of a question and more of an acknowledgement that you both met on a dating app or singles meet up etc. Stay focused in other bigger issues for compatibility. 1
Author Alpacalia Posted March 20, 2022 Author Posted March 20, 2022 53 minutes ago, glows said: “Well, thank you. And you?” This is superficial small talk type of question to break the ice. No additional info required. Nearly everyone asks it online dating because it’s less of a question and more of an acknowledgement that you both met on a dating app or singles meet up etc. Stay focused in other bigger issues for compatibility. It's not online dating. We met randomly. But yes, I agree!
Author Alpacalia Posted March 20, 2022 Author Posted March 20, 2022 (edited) 3 hours ago, Wiseman2 said: If this is a second date, why is he asking that? Your guess is as good as mine! Is it a bad sign for him to ask that? But yup, I used humor to deflect. It seemed to work. Edited March 20, 2022 by Alpaca 1
Author Alpacalia Posted March 20, 2022 Author Posted March 20, 2022 15 hours ago, Happy Lemming said: Then I suggest... "some hits and some misses" -- You can never go wrong with a baseball analogy!! Especially since the baseball strike is now over and Spring Training has started -- "Play Ball" This response is good. I would have liked to have answered his question that way! He showed me a picture of him he took on St. Patrick's Day. He is opening and closing his jacket, and under it is a shirt that says "go luck yourself"; at first I thought, "Did he just tell me to go boink myself?"
poppyfields Posted March 20, 2022 Posted March 20, 2022 (edited) >>how’s the dating scene treating you?<< So he asked this after you've already met and had a date? And have planned the second? I wonder why he didn't ask this during your first date? That would have been the time imo. Sounds to me like he really likes you and it was an indirect and rather passive way of finding out if you are multi-dating or at least discuss your dating styles (multi or one at a time). Without giving too much of himself away or showing his hand. In any event, it sounds like you really like him too (gut feeling based on your enthusiasm) and I'm glad you're happy with your answer! Edited March 20, 2022 by poppyfields 1
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