Annabanna Posted March 18, 2022 Posted March 18, 2022 Fed up of being single, but even worse! I'm fed up of being messed about, lied to, let down. Does no one want a proper, decent honest loving relationship anymore? 1
glows Posted March 18, 2022 Posted March 18, 2022 Your picker may be off or you’re overlooking the good ones. Surround yourself with loved ones. The bitter tone has to go. It’s unlikely a future partner or others in general want to be around that. Is there anything that keeps you busy? Meet likeminded at fairs, conventions, local events and other activities. 2
Author Annabanna Posted March 18, 2022 Author Posted March 18, 2022 I dont normally have a bitter tone, I'm a very cheerful, happy person that would do anything for anyone. But every now and again I get used, walked all over and taken advanced of. I dont show it to others but I'm just so sad of the time wasters. I've got so much to give. But no one wants me! I don't know why, I consider myself to be attractive. Have lots of friends, just need someone special in my life. 2
poppyfields Posted March 18, 2022 Posted March 18, 2022 (edited) 22 minutes ago, Annabanna said: I've got so much to give. But no one wants me! I don't know why, I consider myself to be attractive. Have lots of friends, just need someone special in my life. What about the recent guy you just dumped cause his home smelled? HE wanted you, even after you dumped, he said you were the girl of his dreams. Since he wanted you, other men will too; problem for some people is the ones you want don't want you and the ones you DON'T want do want you. Maybe explore that within yourself? If you're attractive and have so much to give as you said, it shouldn't be that difficult meeting a man you vibe well with. Edited March 18, 2022 by poppyfields
Author Annabanna Posted March 18, 2022 Author Posted March 18, 2022 1 minute ago, poppyfields said: What about the recent guy you just dumped cause his home smelled? HE wanted you, even after you dumped, he said you were the girl of his dreams. Since he wanted you, other men will too; problem for some people is the ones you want don't want you and the ones you DON'T want do want you. Maybe explore that within yourself? If you're attractive and have so much to give as you said, it shouldn't be that difficult. No it shouldn't be that difficult. But somehow it is! Lol Maybe I'm just supposed to be on my own? 1
Wiseman2 Posted March 18, 2022 Posted March 18, 2022 22 minutes ago, Annabanna said: No it shouldn't be that difficult. But somehow it is! Lol Maybe I'm just supposed to be on my own? Don't despair. You did the right thing not settling for Mr. stinky. That means you have standards and will eventually meet someone compatible rather than put up with assorted incompatible men as weirdos. 4 1
basil67 Posted March 18, 2022 Posted March 18, 2022 54 minutes ago, Annabanna said: I dont normally have a bitter tone, I'm a very cheerful, happy person that would do anything for anyone. But every now and again I get used, walked all over and taken advanced of. I dont show it to others but I'm just so sad of the time wasters. I've got so much to give. But no one wants me! I don't know why, I consider myself to be attractive. Have lots of friends, just need someone special in my life. Kindly, pretty much everyone gets used or taken advantage of sometimes. But we learn to take faith because of all the people who don't hurt us. Also, I'm sure it's untrue that nobody wants you. Perhaps your view is skewed by not being able to find Mr Right? Lastly, it takes more than being attractive to find a good boyfriend. What else do you have to offer? 1
Alpacalia Posted March 18, 2022 Posted March 18, 2022 (edited) The important thing is to accept that you knew you weren't being treated fairly yet you made yourself available to him/her. Keep sympathy and plight at bay. This will only make you more depressed. Defining some boundaries and rules in your life can help you maintain your self-respect and prevent anyone from ravaging your self-esteem. The downside is that, if you're attractive, you'll also have to weed through more unsavory characters. The nature of jerks is more outgoing and confident (incorrectly, to be sure) and eager to hit on you. Men who are more modest are less likely to put themselves at risk, particularly if the girl is attractive. That’s just not the way most of them operate. At least you got rid of the messy guy. Edited March 18, 2022 by Alpaca 1
poppyfields Posted March 19, 2022 Posted March 19, 2022 (edited) Point is OP, messy guy was into you. Very much so apparently to say you were the 'girl of his dreams' after getting dumped and his ego shattered? So to say no one ever wants you is just false and reflects poorly on yourself and the energy you project. No one likes someone with a loser attitude. Start thinking more positively. Positive thinking = positive results Negative thinking = negative results. I truly believe that! Think about how much you've got going for you, what you have to offer and how deserving you are of a great guy. Like attracts like, I believe that too. Edited March 19, 2022 by poppyfields 3
stillafool Posted March 19, 2022 Posted March 19, 2022 4 hours ago, Annabanna said: I dont normally have a bitter tone, I'm a very cheerful, happy person that would do anything for anyone. But every now and again I get used, walked all over and taken advanced of. I dont show it to others but I'm just so sad of the time wasters. I've got so much to give. But no one wants me! I don't know why, I consider myself to be attractive. Have lots of friends, just need someone special in my life. This guy wanted you but you didn't want him. So it's untrue that nobody wants you. Also even if you've had only time wasters they are men who originally wanted you. The question is why can't you keep them. 1
smackie9 Posted March 19, 2022 Posted March 19, 2022 (edited) It sounds to me you are too trusting, and always give the benefit of a doubt. Jerks pick up on that and take advantage and play ya. Edited March 19, 2022 by smackie9
SingFish Posted March 19, 2022 Posted March 19, 2022 16 hours ago, Annabanna said: Maybe I'm just supposed to be on my own? I believe we all have to be okay on our own to be okay in a relationship, if that makes sense. Your reaction to the man who wasn't clean enough for you but otherwise perfect is very all or nothing, did you ever communicate to him exactly what you thought? Maybe your communication skills are off. I would have said something pretty soon off about he needs to clean up! Then if he didn't it becomes a dealbreaker. Relationships take work in my experience, sometimes we feel into that, sometimes not. 2
glows Posted March 19, 2022 Posted March 19, 2022 16 hours ago, Annabanna said: I dont normally have a bitter tone, I'm a very cheerful, happy person that would do anything for anyone. But every now and again I get used, walked all over and taken advanced of. I dont show it to others but I'm just so sad of the time wasters. I've got so much to give. But no one wants me! I don't know why, I consider myself to be attractive. Have lots of friends, just need someone special in my life. It’s possible pickings are slim. Ignore it and continue on. Grumbling around is self-pity. You’ll meet the man that’s right for you but focus also please on being the right woman for that man.
Author Annabanna Posted March 19, 2022 Author Posted March 19, 2022 24 minutes ago, SingFish said: I believe we all have to be okay on our own to be okay in a relationship, if that makes sense. Your reaction to the man who wasn't clean enough for you but otherwise perfect is very all or nothing, did you ever communicate to him exactly what you thought? Maybe your communication skills are off. I would have said something pretty soon off about he needs to clean up! Then if he didn't it becomes a dealbreaker. Relationships take work in my experience, sometimes we feel into that, sometimes not. I was going to talk it through with him but the majority of people on here told me he wouldn't change, and I should run for the hills. Lol!! It wasn't just the smell, there were a few other things that didn't feel right.
SingFish Posted March 19, 2022 Posted March 19, 2022 27 minutes ago, Annabanna said: I was going to talk it through with him but the majority of people on here told me he wouldn't change, and I should run for the hills. Lol!! It wasn't just the smell, there were a few other things that didn't feel right. I doubt I did, I always give people the benefit of doubt first. But now you made the decision don't second-guess yourself. You did what was right for you at the time. You have depression? Life can be lonely, that's for sure, but it is for most people some of the time. Are you happy in other areas of your life, work, friendships, stuff you do for fun and relaxation?
stillafool Posted March 19, 2022 Posted March 19, 2022 1 hour ago, Annabanna said: I was going to talk it through with him but the majority of people on here told me he wouldn't change, and I should run for the hills. Lol!! It wasn't just the smell, there were a few other things that didn't feel right. This is because you gave people here the impression that he had body odor and didn't bathe; not that it was his clothes that smelled bad. That is fixable as well as telling him to clean his house. 1
Wiseman2 Posted March 19, 2022 Posted March 19, 2022 (edited) 2 hours ago, Annabanna said: It wasn't just the smell, there were a few other things that didn't feel right. Trust your instincts. If you were disgusted in any way about anything, it's not a match. You are smart to realize that trying to fix and change people is frustrating to you and insulting to them. Headaches and heartaches happen when people settle, stay too long hoping for change and force-fit something rather than set each other free early on. Edited March 19, 2022 by Wiseman2 2
Happy Lemming Posted March 19, 2022 Posted March 19, 2022 On 3/18/2022 at 1:16 PM, glows said: Is there anything that keeps you busy? Meet likeminded at fairs, conventions, local events and other activities. It's Saturday night... shower up and get out there. Great night to go out into the world and meet new people.
Author Annabanna Posted March 20, 2022 Author Posted March 20, 2022 9 hours ago, Happy Lemming said: It's Saturday night... shower up and get out there. Great night to go out into the world and meet new people. I would have loved to!!! But all my friends have husbands/partners and don't go out on the town anymore.
SingFish Posted March 20, 2022 Posted March 20, 2022 6 hours ago, Annabanna said: would have loved to!!! But all my friends have husbands/partners and don't go out on the town anymore. Do you go out alone too? Concerts, cinema, talks, whatever you're interested in. 2
smackie9 Posted March 20, 2022 Posted March 20, 2022 7 hours ago, Annabanna said: I would have loved to!!! But all my friends have husbands/partners and don't go out on the town anymore. Are you kidding me? Me and the girlies love going out....are you sure you can't plan a nice ladies night out for dinner and dancing? I think with some encouragement you can make that happen. Who doesn't like a fun night out. 3
Happy Lemming Posted March 20, 2022 Posted March 20, 2022 4 hours ago, SingFish said: Do you go out alone too? Concerts, cinema, talks, whatever you're interested in. I was thinking the same thing... I've seen plenty of women go out alone (especially if its a sports bar or local watering hole). Personally, I prefer to go out alone and try to meet women. I never really liked having a "wingman" around. I just liked coming and going different places, as I pleased. 1
Author Annabanna Posted March 20, 2022 Author Posted March 20, 2022 4 hours ago, SingFish said: Do you go out alone too? Concerts, cinema, talks, whatever you're interested in. Oh I'm not sure about going out alone, it would feel a bit strange. No one reay does that where I live. I might try it one time and see. I Cound always come home anytime I want to if it feels strange. 1
dramafreezone Posted March 20, 2022 Posted March 20, 2022 On 3/18/2022 at 1:46 PM, Annabanna said: I dont normally have a bitter tone, I'm a very cheerful, happy person that would do anything for anyone. But every now and again I get used, walked all over and taken advanced of. I dont show it to others but I'm just so sad of the time wasters. I've got so much to give. But no one wants me! I don't know why, I consider myself to be attractive. Have lots of friends, just need someone special in my life. Maybe time to re-calibrate your dating process. The "there are no good guys" is more of a red flag from the person saying it IMO. There are more guys that would never do any of those bad things than you could possibly ever date if you dated 3 of them a day. You're just not seeing them. If you want different results, you have to begin a different process when it comes to dating. On 3/19/2022 at 7:00 AM, Annabanna said: I was going to talk it through with him but the majority of people on here told me he wouldn't change, and I should run for the hills. Lol!! You're responsible for your own decisions. If you ask for advice from people on here, you have to understand that no one here has any vested interest in how things turn out for you. It's really easy for strangers to tell other strangers to break up or divorce, because it's not going to affect anyone here in any way. Taking responsibility doesn't mean that things are your *fault*, but it means that you're the only one that can change your outcomes.
SingFish Posted March 21, 2022 Posted March 21, 2022 2 hours ago, Annabanna said: No one reay does that where I live. I might try it one time and see. I Cound always come home anytime I want to if it feels strange. don't worry what anyone else does. Exactly. A confident woman is attractive!
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