Jump to content

I have no friends to go on vacations with, considering going alone? Is it safe? Weird

Sunnydays1111

By Sunnydays1111
in Friendship

 Share
While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!

Recommended Posts

Sunnydays1111 Established Member

Sunnydays1111

Posted
Posted

I literally i have no friends to go on trips with. Two times I asked, they "declined." One friend who is married , told me she doesn't "travel" with friends. Meaning she has no interest in going with me, I know plenty of single gals that travel with married people without their spouses. Then at a previous job, my group of work friends were planning on going to vegas, well that fell through and never happened. One said, she wants to go with her family, then everyone just faded about even going. I'm like what the heck? I can't wait till I'm 70 and get approval from someone to go with. I'll probably be dead by then. I mean, I told that one friend who declined going with me that I was going solo, then she replied that "it wasn't safe." Geez, I would like to just travel solo to the sunshine state and hang out on the beach alone-which I think would be safe-since I also have traveled there with family years ago-so I'm familiar with the area. I mean, would it be better NOT to tell ppl I'm going solo so that I won't get crap from them when they tell me, that its "not safe" "too weird?"

Wiseman2 Established Member

Wiseman2

Posted
Posted

Go to a travel agent and look for group tours. Go on a singles cruise or some other group thing.

  • Like 1
ASG Established Member

ASG

Posted
Posted

Loads of people travel alone and it's perfectly safe and not weird. 

Or go on a group holiday. 

  • Like 1
glows Established Member

glows

Posted
Posted

Not sure why it matters what others think unless you're asking for advice on a specific locale and suggestions where to go or what places to stay (ie. valuable input and tangible advice rather than vague opinions). 

Do some research on the place and decide what you'd like to do. 

  • Like 1
AngryGromit Established Member

AngryGromit

Posted
Posted (edited)
12 hours ago, Sunnydays1111 said:

I mean, I told that one friend who declined going with me that I was going solo, then she replied that "it wasn't safe." Geez, I would like to just travel solo to the sunshine state and hang out on the beach alone-which I think would be safe-since I also have traveled there with family years ago-so I'm familiar with the area. 

Don't let the age old it's not safe for a single woman to travel alone. While you may need to be a little more careful travelling, it doesn't mean it's dangerous to travel alone.  I can understand your friends attitude not to go on a trip with you. It's family first, friends second. Not everyone has the disposable income to go on vacation with families AND friends.  My Aunt is always asking my Mom to go to these far away vacation with her. but she has Million+ in the bank and my Mom doesn't. Unless she offers to pay, it's just not affordable. She takes a vacation trip every year with my father, while she is retired, she can't afford to take multiple vacations a year. 

Edited by AngryGromit
ShyViolet Established Member

ShyViolet

Posted
Posted

Do whatever you're comfortable with and whatever makes you happy.  There's nothing wrong with traveling alone.  I don't travel, but if I did, I'd love to travel alone.

  • Author
Sunnydays1111 Established Member

Sunnydays1111

Posted
  • Author
Posted (edited)

Also, what I can't stand is those damn panhandlers or whatever you call them approaching me asking for money-not only of course when traveling but just in general wherever I go. Like today, I went to the farmers market and as I was parking-this idiot starting walking towards my car signaling to roll down my window-I got pissed and drove away and parked somewhere else. This happens once in a while-I feel these panhandlers just target me because they see I'm a lone woman and can easily take advantage of. 

Edited by Sunnydays1111
Wiseman2 Established Member

Wiseman2

Posted
Posted
2 minutes ago, Sunnydays1111 said:

-this idiot starting walking towards my car signaling to roll down my window-I got pissed and drove away and parked somewhere else.

Anyway. Look for a groups tour either to a desired destination or with a theme you're interested in (hiking, whatever)

NuevoYorko Established Member

NuevoYorko

Posted
Posted

You're kind of all over the place on this.  You almost sound like these various people "owe" it to you to plan a trip with you.  Maybe if they are your very closest friends, but you seem to be talking about acquaintances.   Also, many married people do not take vacations without their spouses.   It's not their problem if you can't go on a vacation until you're 70.  

Why do you care whether people think it's unsafe to travel alone?   Are YOU afraid to travel alone?  Or uncomfortable?  That's  all that matters, and that's fine.  Solo travel is not enjoyable for all people.   So if you don't want to go alone,  get on  a tour, or look into "all inclusive" resort packages.  If all you want is to go to a beach in FL, you can get a shuttle from your hotel to pick you up at the airport.  You can go to the beach, eat at the hotel and literally never have to set foot off the grounds.  I'm sure that the property's security will keep the panhandlers away from guests.  You'd probably be safer, and less likely to encounter anything unexpected, than you are every day in your life at home.  

An ability to roll with less than ideal situations is very crucial to being a good traveller.  People who get easily bent out of shape, are high maintenance, or can't deal well with changes are extremely un-fun to travel with.   Do you think that you will bring positive things to a vacation shared with other people?   In general, people need to have a pretty solid friendship in order to make good travel companions.  

 

  • Like 4
basil67 Established Member

basil67

Posted
Posted (edited)

I understand the disappointment when things don't go as planned, but you are sounding a little entitled here.  With the married friend, it's not at all uncommon for people to have vacations with their partners.   When they have such little annual leave, it makes sense that they want to spend it with their partner.   Heck, I tried to get my sister to come away with me for a couple of weekends, but she doesn't want to do these things without her husband there to have the experience with her.  So truly, this wasn't a rejection of you.  

The work thing would also have been a disappointment, but sometimes we start to make plans and then it all falls in a hole and nothing happens. It's life.

Who in your life would give you a hard time about travelling solo?   My daughter did a few weeks in Europe on her own when she was 20.  As a scaredy cat myself, think it's really cool and brave thing to do.  

Edited by basil67
  • Like 2
Lotsgoingon Established Member

Lotsgoingon

Posted
Posted

You owe it to yourself to try out traveling single. Try it ... you get to choose everything ... you can make smalltalk or not ... you can go to all the sites you want to visit. 

Absolutely go alone ... try it out ... there may be an akward few moments, but running your own show--totally--is really cool. 

  • Like 1
jspice Established Member

jspice

Posted
Posted
18 hours ago, Sunnydays1111 said:

Also, what I can't stand is those damn panhandlers or whatever you call them approaching me asking for money-not only of course when traveling but just in general wherever I go. Like today, I went to the farmers market and as I was parking-this idiot starting walking towards my car signaling to roll down my window-I got pissed and drove away and parked somewhere else. This happens once in a while-I feel these panhandlers just target me because they see I'm a lone woman and can easily take advantage of. 

Could this attitude displayed here be the reason why “ I have no friends to go on vacations with …”

If someone was on holiday with you and something didn’t go the way you wanted, is this how you would react? Making a mountain out of a molehill. 
So far, you’re not sounding like a fun companion just from your posts here, so I’d start travelling alone if you want to see anything. 

It’s perfectly safe to travel by yourself. There’s no need to book a tour group or singles group or whatever. It’s easy to plan trips for a solo traveller. Learn to roll with the punches  and you’ll have more people want to be around you and you’ll have a much better vacation. 

 

 

  • Like 3
  • Author
Sunnydays1111 Established Member

Sunnydays1111

Posted
  • Author
Posted
On 3/16/2022 at 10:28 AM, jspice said:

Could this attitude displayed here be the reason why “ I have no friends to go on vacations with …”

If someone was on holiday with you and something didn’t go the way you wanted, is this how you would react? Making a mountain out of a molehill. 
So far, you’re not sounding like a fun companion just from your posts here, so I’d start travelling alone if you want to see anything. 

It’s perfectly safe to travel by yourself. There’s no need to book a tour group or singles group or whatever. It’s easy to plan trips for a solo traveller. Learn to roll with the punches  and you’ll have more people want to be around you and you’ll have a much better vacation. 

 

 

Not really. You don't understand, I'm not making a "mountain out of a molehill." I'm concerned about my damn safety! There are homeless, creeps that prey on solo women. One time I was at a gas station and this guy pulled up behind me-right, no big deal. Well, as soon as I got out of my car, he got out of his car and approached me and asked me for money. He could of had a gun or pulled out a knife-what "attitude" are you talking about? Getting attacked, robbed or wanting to find friends to go on vacay with are 2 different things

stillafool Established Member

stillafool

Posted
Posted
On 3/15/2022 at 4:13 PM, Sunnydays1111 said:

Also, what I can't stand is those damn panhandlers or whatever you call them approaching me asking for money-not only of course when traveling but just in general wherever I go. Like today, I went to the farmers market and as I was parking-this idiot starting walking towards my car signaling to roll down my window-I got pissed and drove away and parked somewhere else. This happens once in a while-I feel these panhandlers just target me because they see I'm a lone woman and can easily take advantage of. 

Are you in L.A?  They could care less if you're a woman, man or dog all they want is your money.  When I lived out there I would give this homeless man money every week until he slipped up one day and told me about the house he was buying.  

Wiseman2 Established Member

Wiseman2

Posted
Posted

Why argue? Why worry about panhandling?

Just research group tours, cruises, etc. It's that simple.

Els Established Member

Els

Posted
Posted (edited)
13 hours ago, Sunnydays1111 said:

Not really. You don't understand, I'm not making a "mountain out of a molehill." I'm concerned about my damn safety! There are homeless, creeps that prey on solo women. One time I was at a gas station and this guy pulled up behind me-right, no big deal. Well, as soon as I got out of my car, he got out of his car and approached me and asked me for money. He could of had a gun or pulled out a knife-what "attitude" are you talking about? Getting attacked, robbed or wanting to find friends to go on vacay with are 2 different things

So... you don't ever leave your house without an escort when you're at home? Or do you live in a place that magically has zero crime rate?

Obviously it will never be 100% safe to travel alone... but it's also not 100% safe to travel with people, or to walk to work alone, or to drive, or to go to the bar for a drink. We take risks everywhere in life, even just sitting in your room typing this on your computer you could be at risk of a blood clot, or a meteorite falling on you, or there could be cancer developing in your body that you're unaware of. Obviously, some things are just unreasonably risky and should probably be avoided (like for instance I wouldn't recommend getting blackout drunk while at a bar alone...), but why do you feel that traveling alone is somehow a lot less safe than doing anything else alone in your home city?

Yes, solo women do realistically have more safety considerations than solo men or women who travel in groups. You do have to do more planning, as you only have yourself to rely on if anything goes wrong, so I'd recommend taking extra steps like making sure you have a SIM card that can make calls and use data, keeping extra cash, cards and copies of IDs in a few different places, etc. Personally I also prefer to pay more for my safety when I travel alone (e.g. I'll stay at a reputable hotel in a safe neighbourhood with 24-hour security, instead of at an AirBnB or a cheap motel). But aside from the inconvenience and extra costs... it's completely doable, a confidence booster, and rather empowering if you are doing it while coming from a culture that insists that you can't or shouldn't.

I was scared (but excited) the first time I traveled solo to a different continent. Then a little less scared the second time. The third time, I was flying free. Like anything else in life, practice helps.

 

Edited by Elswyth
  • Like 2
  • Thanks 1
stillafool Established Member

stillafool

Posted
Posted

I could understand your fear if you were 18-21 but you are a grown woman who knows how to make proper decisions to protect your safety.  I've been traveling alone since I was 21 and the the first time I stayed alone in a hotel I felt empowered.   Life is dangerous but you can't stop living.  Bad things can happen to you anywhere and not all homeless people are dangerous.

  • Like 1
glows Established Member

glows

Posted
Posted
13 hours ago, Sunnydays1111 said:

Not really. You don't understand, I'm not making a "mountain out of a molehill." I'm concerned about my damn safety! There are homeless, creeps that prey on solo women. One time I was at a gas station and this guy pulled up behind me-right, no big deal. Well, as soon as I got out of my car, he got out of his car and approached me and asked me for money. He could of had a gun or pulled out a knife-what "attitude" are you talking about? Getting attacked, robbed or wanting to find friends to go on vacay with are 2 different things

Just watch your back and stay calm in any situation. Have your valuables and details about you and don’t get too close to anyone. Use your street smarts. Don’t get pick pocketed or robbed. Watch the people coming and going around you and be aware at all times.

If you’re anxious plan ahead and learn maps and routes, know the neighborhoods and which areas to avoid.  Memorize numbers. I’m getting the sense you’re anxious so eliminate areas that aren’t acceptable to travel and just be smart about where you go or the time of day if you’re coming and going from where you’re staying. 
 

 Share
Go to topic listing
×
×
  • Create New...