ericw899 Posted March 15, 2022 Posted March 15, 2022 So I have been seeing this girl for a couple of months now. We have gone on 7 different dates in the past two months and have begun to really hit things off. I’ve began to really like her and I felt that she felt the same way. The thing is though, we are not officially exclusive but I felt we were headed that way. I now am having second thoughts and don’t know if I want to continue with her at all. So on Saturday we went to see a movie. We were having a good time and enjoying ourselves, I had my arm around her and everything. All of a sudden I felt my phone ring. I grabbed it to see who it was because I thought it was possibly my boss. I looked and it was a random girl I met on Facebook dating trying to FaceTime me out of the blue. I quickly looked and put it right back in my pocket as I was trying to enjoy the movie. It turns out though that my date must have seen the name “Jane Doe” trying to FaceTime me because she quickly pulled away from me and kind of acted distracted afterwards. Once the movie ends the first thing she says is “who is Jane Doe?” I told her it was a random girl who I never even met in person and she acted like she didn’t believe and became jealous that I may be talking to another girl. So fast forward to today and My date text me saying that she thinks she may be pregnant. I’m totally confused as I haven’t slept with her at all, only kissing. So I ask when she last had sex and she says two weeks ago and that kind of tweaked me. She acted jealous two days ago because a random girl FaceTime me yet she slept with a guy between our dates. This made me annoyed at her hypercritical nature and I was hurt that she was sleeping with other guys while we were trying to form something. I also was sick with Covid 2 weeks ago so when I couldn’t see her she was sleeping with someone else. I understand her and I were never exclusive but it still bothers me that she is sleeping with other guys while we have been going out and she assures me she really likes me. I’m the type guy who focuses on one girl especially after seven dates so maybe it’s just a different in compatibility. Either way I can’t help how I feel and I’m now being distant from her and haven’t texted her since she told me. So I’d like opinions. Am I out of line and being unreasonable or is it ok to feel hurt by a girl you’ve been going out with has been sleeping with other guys especially after being jealous over a much smaller deal.
ExpatInItaly Posted March 15, 2022 Posted March 15, 2022 I can understand why you feel hurt, OP. Even if you two are not exclusive yet, it is not fun to hear the unvarnished truth that the other person is having sex with someone else. I would leave this girl behind you. Now that she thinks she might be pregnant, well, that's a whole lot of drama you don't need.
Yosemite Posted March 15, 2022 Posted March 15, 2022 She probably told you that she slept with someone else to hurt you back because she thought that you slept with the girl who FaceTimed you and was hurt by it. Who knows if she actually did sleep with someone else or not. Usually the guy asks for exclusivity, so if you feel that things are going well and that you are building towards a relationship, you should ask for exclusivity earlier. There's probably not a lot that can be done to save this relationship with this girl. You'll probably never believe that she wasn't wrong to sleep with someone else (if she even did) and she'll never believe that that girl randomly FaceTimed you out of the blue. Misunderstandings can easily kill a budding relationship. 3
introverted1 Posted March 15, 2022 Posted March 15, 2022 There was no reason for her to tell you she might be pregnant except to cause drama. It can be debated whether she should have been having sex with someone else while dating you, but given that there is zero chance she is pregnant with your baby, and since the pregnancy is just a "maybe" at this point, the only reason she told you was to stir the pot. Whether that was to get back at you for the facetime call you received in the movie or just how she operates doesn't really matter, does it? 4
glows Posted March 15, 2022 Posted March 15, 2022 12 hours ago, ericw899 said: Either way I can’t help how I feel and I’m now being distant from her and haven’t texted her since she told me. So I’d like opinions. Am I out of line and being unreasonable or is it ok to feel hurt by a girl you’ve been going out with has been sleeping with other guys especially after being jealous over a much smaller deal. I’d chalk this up to lack of compatibility and end the story there. There’s no need to question whether she was with someone else while you were dating. She’s telling you there’s the possibility there was or hoping you’ll believe it and be hurt and jealous. You were dating her exclusively but didn’t say anything about it early on so that’s something you can change or see whether you’re on the same page with someone early on. 1
smackie9 Posted March 15, 2022 Posted March 15, 2022 Awww dude she's cray cray. Enough is enough, time to cut her loose. This is why we date, to see what they are truly like. You cannot turn a blind eye to this. 2
Wiseman2 Posted March 15, 2022 Posted March 15, 2022 13 hours ago, ericw899 said: So I have been seeing this girl for a couple of months now. I thought it was possibly my boss. I looked and it was a random girl I met on Facebook dating trying to FaceTime me out of the blue. My date text me saying that she thinks she may be pregnant. I’m totally confused as I haven’t slept with her at all End it. If she is sleeping with others and pregnant you need to step away from that. In the future turn your phone off on dates and in movies. You can always check it on a bathroom break or when you get home. 2
AngryGromit Posted March 15, 2022 Posted March 15, 2022 1 hour ago, introverted1 said: There was no reason for her to tell you she might be pregnant except to cause drama. I'll have to agree with this, why would you tell someone you just started dating you think your pregnant? What a way to scare a guy off she hasn't even slept with yet. 2
ccas93 Posted March 15, 2022 Posted March 15, 2022 it's bad either way. I've been lied to before by jealous girls who told me they were sleeping with someone else, just to get back at me for whatever reason. Petty, spiteful lying is pretty bad and should be a dealbreaker. But let's assume it's not a lie, and she's actually pregnant with some hookups kid, that would also make the decision super easy for me.. I'd say... have fun, enjoy motherhood! and never contact her again. 3
poppyfields Posted March 15, 2022 Posted March 15, 2022 40 minutes ago, ccas93 said: But let's assume it's not a lie, and she's actually pregnant with some hookups kid, that would also make the decision super easy for me.. I'd say... have fun, enjoy motherhood! and never contact her again Lol, that is the absolute best response!! OP, I think she's lying and said to elicit jealousy as crazy as that sounds. But nevertheless, it's still a great response and agree to say it and never contact her again. 1
ShyViolet Posted March 15, 2022 Posted March 15, 2022 There was no valid reason for her to tell you that she thinks she "might" be pregnant. If anything, there would be no point in telling you that unless it was confirmed that she really is. I definitely think she told you that to try and make you jealous, or "get back" at you. Or maybe to just end things with you because she knew that it would sound crazy and would most likely scare you off.
Wiseman2 Posted March 15, 2022 Posted March 15, 2022 18 hours ago, ericw899 said: I haven’t slept with her at all Get down on your knees and thank the heavens above you dodged this bullet. 2
stillafool Posted March 15, 2022 Posted March 15, 2022 You should have said "thank God it isn't by me" and told her to have a good life then like Wiseman said 12 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said: Get down on your knees and thank the heavens above you dodged this bullet. 1
Gaeta Posted March 15, 2022 Posted March 15, 2022 (edited) I can she think she's pregnant in 2 weeks...makes no sense. Drama queen playing games. Edited March 15, 2022 by Gaeta 2
seapebbles Posted March 15, 2022 Posted March 15, 2022 Either she's lying about being pregnant to get a reaction out of you and create drama, or she's been having unprotected sex with other men. She sounds really immature and not someone you want to get involved with. 3
Alpacalia Posted March 16, 2022 Posted March 16, 2022 (edited) It doesn't really matter all things considered. In handling her jealousy, she made a poor choice. Rather than continuing the status quo, she ought to have ended it. She responds to the situation by saying she had a sexual encounter with another man without protection just to spite you? Regardless, she effectively ended the relationship for both of you. That thorn will never go away. Edited March 16, 2022 by Alpaca 2
Author ericw899 Posted March 17, 2022 Author Posted March 17, 2022 So I ended things with her. Not texting her, not answering her snapchats. I'm over it and not wasting my time on a girl like her. I've made the mistake before of dating a girl who was all about drama and didn't have her life together and I paid the price for it. 3
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