Maldives Posted March 12, 2022 Posted March 12, 2022 Finally met someone with a great connection on hinge. Had a great first convo nothing too long winded but just an engaging conversation. It was late so she indicated was going to bed. Left it for a day came back this morning to message her and lo and behold, de-matched. I don't get it. We were still matched last night cause I saw her insta which she linked to the profile and left it to this morning to follow up and comment on her new photos, but gone. I'm sure there was a connection. Was it because I left it for a day and she dematched? Or something else?
Wiseman2 Posted March 12, 2022 Posted March 12, 2022 Just now, Goodguy05 said: n. Was it because I left it for a day and she dematched? Or something else? How long were you texting? Until you meet there's not that much connection. So everyone is still talking to and meeting others. Probably nothing you did or said. 2
glows Posted March 12, 2022 Posted March 12, 2022 4 minutes ago, Goodguy05 said: Finally met someone with a great connection on hinge. Had a great first convo nothing too long winded but just an engaging conversation. It was late so she indicated was going to bed. Left it for a day came back this morning to message her and lo and behold, de-matched. I don't get it. We were still matched last night cause I saw her insta which she linked to the profile and left it to this morning to follow up and comment on her new photos, but gone. I'm sure there was a connection. Was it because I left it for a day and she dematched? Or something else? I can’t speak for anyone else. If there are issues with living situation, employment, not a local, I would unmatch. You would know regarding the topics covered. Sometimes individuals are there for reasons that don’t have to do with meeting anyone in reality and that’s unfortunate. 1
Author Maldives Posted March 12, 2022 Author Posted March 12, 2022 2 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said: How long were you texting? Until you meet there's not that much connection. So everyone is still talking to and meeting others. Probably nothing you did or said. Not that long maybe an hour or so but it was a great connection the conversation flowed. Agree re until you meet but not even an opportunity to get to that point lol. Scratching my head forgot how flakey online dating is
Author Maldives Posted March 12, 2022 Author Posted March 12, 2022 2 minutes ago, glows said: I can’t speak for anyone else. If there are issues with living situation, employment, not a local, I would unmatch. You would know regarding the topics covered. Sometimes individuals are there for reasons that don’t have to do with meeting anyone in reality and that’s unfortunate. That makes some sense re not local not that far about an hour or so. She had kids and I guess I left it for a day to digest that cause I don't but thought at least meet as the connection was good.
glows Posted March 12, 2022 Posted March 12, 2022 2 minutes ago, Goodguy05 said: That makes some sense re not local not that far about an hour or so. She had kids and I guess I left it for a day to digest that cause I don't but thought at least meet as the connection was good. Sometimes parents like dating other parents also. It helps being on the same page even if your kids may be at different stages. It’s not always the case. Anyway, sorry to hear this. It’s good of you to keep an open mind. 2
basil67 Posted March 12, 2022 Posted March 12, 2022 7 minutes ago, Goodguy05 said: Not that long maybe an hour or so but it was a great connection the conversation flowed. Agree re until you meet but not even an opportunity to get to that point lol. Scratching my head forgot how flakey online dating is Problem is, one person's definition of the conversation flowing and having a great connection is not always the same as the other party's definition. My daughter tells me about being surprised when someone asks for a second date citing a great connection when she'd found the conversation very dry and tough going. 3
Author Maldives Posted March 12, 2022 Author Posted March 12, 2022 3 minutes ago, basil67 said: Problem is, one person's definition of the conversation flowing and having a great connection is not always the same as the other party's definition. My daughter tells me about being surprised when someone asks for a second date citing a great connection when she'd found the conversation very dry and tough going. True then she lied to me lol about how great my story telling was lol she asked me about my trip to Tibet and said it was like she was there. I get it though what your saying what I think is great is not necessarily how the other person views it. She was probably just being nice 3
poppyfields Posted March 12, 2022 Posted March 12, 2022 (edited) 47 minutes ago, Goodguy05 said: Was it because I left it for a day and she dematched? As crazy as this sounds, it could be this^. I wouldn't rule it out. You just never know what a woman's expectations are, and the fact you waited a day, her brain might have been spinning about it for 23 hours, and then with all her abundance on line, she said 'screw this', unmatched, and began focusing on all the 999 other guys blowing up her phone. You have no idea how much attention most women receive on these apps so you really need to strike while the iron is hot otherwise you'll lose her, sad to say. I'm just speculating of course, but this does happen, you really need to stand out from the rest and more importantly get her out! Like meet in person. The man I'm dating now I met on line and he texted every day for the first few days, we developed a great rapport from that so when he waited a day to reach out again, I missed him, missed talking to him. But you gotta develop that rapport first, it usually won't happen after only one 1 hour conversation even if the convo was good and she appeared interested. Again I'm just speculating, it could be anything really. Edited March 12, 2022 by poppyfields 2
Author Maldives Posted March 12, 2022 Author Posted March 12, 2022 3 minutes ago, poppyfields said: As crazy as this sounds, it could be this^. I wouldn't rule it out. I told ya, crazy. BUT you just never know what a woman's expectations are, and the fact you waited a day, her brain might have been spinning about it for 23 hours, and then with all her abundance on line, she said 'screw this', unmatched, and began focusing on all the 999 other guys blowing up her phone. You have no idea how much attention most women receive on these apps so you really need to strike while the iron is hot otherwise you'll lose her, sad to say. I'm just speculating of course, but this does happen, you really need to stand out from the rest and more importantly get her out! Like meet in person. The man I'm dating now I met on line and he texted every day for the few days, we developed a great rapport from that so when he waited a day to reach out again, I missed him, missed talking to him. But you gotta develop that rapport first, it usually won't happen after only one 1 hour chat. Jmo though, again I'm just speculating, it could be anything really. No I actually think your on the money. I was thinking the same thing. I guess past experience sometime clouds your judemgnent and I didn't wanna come accross too keen as I've done that and been de-matched lol. Hard to forecast these things I guess. I won't stress out about it too much though lol. I would much prefer to meet someone organically cause I've noticed online dating is that much easier to just flake out and ghost. 1
basil67 Posted March 12, 2022 Posted March 12, 2022 7 minutes ago, Goodguy05 said: I didn't wanna come accross too keen as I've done that and been de-matched lol. Hard to forecast these things I guess. And this also underscores that it's hard when you don't know what they are thinking. Thing is, if a woman is really into you and you show that you're keen, she'll likely be more than OK with that. 2
Author Maldives Posted March 12, 2022 Author Posted March 12, 2022 1 minute ago, basil67 said: And this also underscores that it's hard when you don't know what they are thinking. Thing is, if a woman is really into you and you show that you're keen, she'll likely be more than OK with that. Noted haha.. She couldn't of been that keen on me in that case lol.
poppyfields Posted March 12, 2022 Posted March 12, 2022 Just now, Goodguy05 said: Noted haha.. She couldn't of been that keen on me in that case lol. No she probably wasn't, you only had the one conversation and then disappeared for 24+ hours. Which is fine, but realize it takes more than that to develop a great rapport with a woman, so that if you want to not text for a day or two, she missing you, not unmatching you. I realize how hard it is for men with all the abundance women experience; my advice is dont play games, if you enjoyed the conversation, keep it going, develop a rapport and arrange a meet. 2
Author Maldives Posted March 12, 2022 Author Posted March 12, 2022 (edited) 4 minutes ago, poppyfields said: No she probably wasn't, you only had the one conversation and then disappeared for 24+ hours. Which is fine, but realize it takes more than that to develop a great rapport with a woman, so that if you want to not text for a day or two, she missing you, not unmatching you. I realize how hard it is for men with all the abundance women experience; my advice is dont play games, if you enjoyed the conversation, keep it going, develop a rapport and arrange a meet. I did I guess I also left it for a day to chew over, she has kids that's why I took a day to think about it. But do they have an abundance of connections? I guess I'm just going from my own experience on Old. Far and few between Edited March 12, 2022 by Goodguy05
Happy Lemming Posted March 13, 2022 Posted March 13, 2022 55 minutes ago, Goodguy05 said: ...she has kids You dodged a bullet... Let the single moms date the single dads. It's Saturday night, shower up, get out there and meet women without children. 1
glows Posted March 13, 2022 Posted March 13, 2022 One day is not a huge deal. Most people won’t be waiting on one person’s response on a dating app. She will be matching with others also and as a parent she’ll have other priorities that you don’t. My thoughts are you both have different priorities. While you’re talking about Tibet she has other things to think about. 1
poppyfields Posted March 13, 2022 Posted March 13, 2022 (edited) 1 hour ago, Goodguy05 said: But do they have an abundance of connections? I guess I'm just going from my own experience on Old. Far and few between By abundance, I meant the amount of messages she's receiving, not necessarily connections she's making. For me, I received too many messages to even count, but I only truly connected with one and I'm dating him currently. I liked him from the first chat but it took a few more convos before establishing a great rapport with each other. Unlike this girl, had he not texted again for 24+ hours, I would have been happy to hear from him, but not all women would. Like I said, women's expectations are different and hate to say but some women are simply more entitled than others and have higher and sometimes unreasonable expectations when it comes to dating, on line and in real. You might even want to consider this a bullet dodged. Edited March 13, 2022 by poppyfields 1
Alpacalia Posted March 13, 2022 Posted March 13, 2022 Why did she un-match you? Simply put, because she wanted to. Getting caught up in a single mismatch after one conversation would be pointless. You may lose some matches if you do not respond promptly. If they're that impatient, good riddance. Of course, that's merely speculation. Everybody matches and un-matches for a variety of reasons. Don't take anything about these apps or sites too seriously and remember they are filtering processes for the most part. 2
Author Maldives Posted March 13, 2022 Author Posted March 13, 2022 2 hours ago, glows said: One day is not a huge deal. Most people won’t be waiting on one person’s response on a dating app. She will be matching with others also and as a parent she’ll have other priorities that you don’t. My thoughts are you both have different priorities. While you’re talking about Tibet she has other things to think about. No it was her that was asking me about it because that's a place she's always wanted to travel to I didn't even mention it till she asked what it was like
Author Maldives Posted March 13, 2022 Author Posted March 13, 2022 3 hours ago, glows said: One day is not a huge deal. Most people won’t be waiting on one person’s response on a dating app. She will be matching with others also and as a parent she’ll have other priorities that you don’t. My thoughts are you both have different priorities. While you’re talking about Tibet she has other things to think about. No it was her that was asking me about it because that's a place she's always wanted to travel to I didn't even mention it till she asked what it was like. I mean it was on my profile hinge has these questions you answer on your profile and it was on my profile and she said it "u had me at Tibet" not me lol. I actually had to look to see if I'd put it on there as I hadn't mentioned and forgot what I'd put on my profile 1
Wiseman2 Posted March 13, 2022 Posted March 13, 2022 All you need to do is tweak your matching criteria and be more selective about who you contact. Try to stay more local, (although an hour is not a deal breaker). Decide what your personal red flags and deal breakers are such as single parents or whatever. 1
Trail Blazer Posted March 13, 2022 Posted March 13, 2022 It happens. It happened to me on numerous occasions. I thought I'd been having an awesome convo only to find I'd been unmatched the next day. Women really do get bombarded on dating apps, so remaining in her frame when you're competing with so many guys can be pretty hard to do at time. Just move on and keep plugging away until someone you like stays interested long enough for a date. Don't try to make sense of those who don't stay - it is what it is. 2
Author Maldives Posted March 13, 2022 Author Posted March 13, 2022 (edited) 10 hours ago, Wiseman2 said: All you need to do is tweak your matching criteria and be more selective about who you contact. Try to stay more local, (although an hour is not a deal breaker). Decide what your personal red flags and deal breakers are such as single parents or whatever. Noted good advice. The only reason I considered the distance is because where I live on the Gold coast all the matches I had already swiped lol no one else around so opened search criteria a lil further. I'd much prefer local but you don't always meet someone you connect with locally on these apps either. Edited March 13, 2022 by Goodguy05 1 1
Wiseman2 Posted March 13, 2022 Posted March 13, 2022 10 minutes ago, Goodguy05 said: I considered the distance is because where I live on the Gold coast all the matches I had already swiped Well maybe date some mermaids and surfers? 1
Author Maldives Posted March 13, 2022 Author Posted March 13, 2022 22 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said: Well maybe date some mermaids and surfers? 1
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