lilgee Posted October 22, 2005 Posted October 22, 2005 Hey everone. I need some help. A lil about me. I use to be one of these trouble makers and getting into trouble and all. Now im tryin to turn my life around and do right. Im going back to School in GED class. I meet a girl i really love and i cant see myself without her in my life. Now the problem is i wanna ask her to marry me but i dont have money to buy an engagement ring, Plus i need some ideas of some thangs for asking her. I wanna be kinda like you know, umm romantic like. I love her very much and i wanna it be perfect for her. I jus wanna get a simple engagement ring that is $99.00 plus taxe for now untill i have money to get a better one. Please help. If i have to beg i will cause i luv her so much.
glittergurl Posted October 22, 2005 Posted October 22, 2005 lol You do sound very young (or very immature, sorry ) Anyway, if she loves you, the ring won't matter. Hell, my hubby didn't even get me an engagement ring at all!! lol But so what? We love each other to death, and we decided that these little things didn't matter. He was just starting his business back then and we were broke as a joke, but God, I loved him as much as I do now that things are financially good. So anyway, we bought a nice wedding ring later. But even if he hadn't been able to afford a nice wedding ring, I still could have cared less. If your girl is one of those stupid "I'm high maintenance and if you can't deal with it go to hell" kinda chick, she's really not worth it. If not, then no worries. How long have you guys been together? Somehow, I get the feeling you want to marry her, while this relationship has only started. Am I wrong?
Author lilgee Posted October 22, 2005 Author Posted October 22, 2005 im 18 years old and no im not immature. I dont know how you tryin come off saying im immature. She dont care for money or how much anything cost. Im tha one who cares cause she deserve the best. We was friends for a good lil minute and then i start having feelings for her and same wit her. I luv her and i do anything just to see her smile. I know what i want, i thought about this over 6 months now. I thought about what if and what would happen and all of this. I made sure i know what im doing and made sure that this is really what i want.
glittergurl Posted October 22, 2005 Posted October 22, 2005 Honey, give it at least a year or two. That's how long it takes to see if the love will last. Really; it's been proven that the chemicals in the brain that make you feel "in love" last 2 years max; if your relationship lasts longer than that, then you know it's going to last forever. And then you can seriously consider marriage. But those first two years are crucial, even though it first seems like it's meant to be; you have to give it time and get past the butterflies. And yes, you're young. Eighteen is too young to marry. Sorry, I know a lot of people won't agree with me here, and I know there are great examples out there of couples who married very young and last, but the opposite happens more often, unfortunately. It's not like you have any pressure to get married, do you? I'm sorry if I sound harsh, I really don't mean it the harsh way; I'm just trying to understand.
a4a Posted October 23, 2005 Posted October 23, 2005 Wow Lilgee you sound hooked on this girl. But tell me this........if you really love her and want to get married are you prepared to care for her needs? What happens if kids come along ASAP? Can you afford them? What happens if you or she were to get ill......are you able to care for eachother? I have a suggestion...... why not get her a promise ring? It says that you will not date others, you will put her as a priority in your life, and you promise to be honest with her. Then once you get the rest of your life together move forward with marriage. In the meantime do not bring any unwanted kids into the world! Make sure you do this.......dont leave that up to her!! If you really truly love this girl you need to be sure that you can care for her in all aspects......that includes financial and emotional. Don't be selfish about this......and don't end up hurting yourself by moving too quick. Marriage is not a light matter and if you have kids right off the bat.......guess what.....you cannot divorce them......go slow....... A promise ring does mean a lot to a girl. a4a
Author lilgee Posted October 25, 2005 Author Posted October 25, 2005 a4a - If kids does show up, yes, i will take care of em and make sure no matter what, ill get what they need. Ill take care of her no matter what. I luv her and you could ask all of my friends and they say tha same thang about me that i have said.
lilmoma1973 Posted October 25, 2005 Posted October 25, 2005 You sound like you are too young to be getting married how bout what a4a suggested get a promise ring !!! That means you belong to that person and you are promised to them and you can't date others!! I think this would be the best choice for now maybe if you feel like that later on still then you purchase the bigger and better ring the engagement ring !!! I respect that you would take that responsibilty if a child happens in the equation.. Sounds like you are responsible !!! Good luck and hope it all works out!!
RecordProducer Posted October 25, 2005 Posted October 25, 2005 im 18 years old and no im not immature. I know what i want, i thought about this over 6 months now. I thought about what if and what would happen and all of this. I made sure i know what im doing and made sure that this is really what i want. So many of us have said this at 18, 22, 27, 33... Why do you think so many families are fatherless? Maturity is not expressed through impulsiveness, but rather in consistency. If this is really what you want, you'll want it in 5 or 10 years too. Marriages that are based on financial problems tend to be very fragile. You can't possibly be completely formed as a person at age 18, especially since you have been a trouble kid in the past. Whatever you do, please don't have children right now and complicate your life even more. It will break your heart to see your child needing things you can't afford for him or her. Try living with your GF first (married or not). The cost of engagement ring should not matter so buy her a cheap one.
JayKay Posted October 25, 2005 Posted October 25, 2005 IF kids show up? There should be no 'if' with regards to children. You know how children are made, so you should be using protection. I hope your relationship works out. In the meantime, try not to have any 'accidents'. Children are always the ones to pay the price for being 'unexpected'
a4a Posted October 27, 2005 Posted October 27, 2005 Lil Gee I am dumbfounded by your comments about kids! You are 18 years old! Not only can you ruin your life, the life of the girl you state you love,....but more so the lives of those children! How are you planning on paying the rent? Do you have insurance to cover a pregnancy(s) with this girl? Or do my tax dollars need to pay for your kids? GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!! Tempt this young lady with a ring and good chance you will be taking great oppurtunities away from her. What about allowing her to mature, grow, and experience life? If you love her so damn much you would not want to deny her these things would you? Would you want to really shove the responsibility of marriage on a person you care about? Read the divorce threads on this site.......see what happens.....learning from others mistakes before you make one. Do you have friends that were married so young.......not to mention kids coming along? How is it panning out for them........? I don't know why I bothered to post this...... you are so stuck in the moment you cannot see the forest through the trees. Nothing irritates me more than people claiming to be mature and that cannot be mature enough to look at the reality of a situation .... this is not an age thing at all. Your desire to marry her at a young age is a selfish thing...... you are not considering all the hardship she will have to endure if you do so..... Its hard enough to keep a marriage intact without dealing with those hardships that come with being unprepared for one......... you are not prepared to deal with a real marriage......hell, most people aren't! Thats why there are so many divorces and broken hearts. Go grow, live, learn, then think very very hard before you step into such a very very serious matter....... marriage is not to be taken lightly..once you do it you are stuck with the responsibility of it......even if it ends up in divorce its still in your life in many aspects. Why is getting married so damn important? Are you afraid she will cheat if you dont? Are you afraid she will get tired of just dating? Are you afraid that she will lose interest in you? Got news for ya', people do this after they get married! The ring and paper just complicate it with legal matters. Not to mention she could dump you and half your pay check or more ends up going to kids you end up estranged from...... THINK!!!! Don't you think that if you gave her a promise ring and told her that you want to marry her once you can provide a stable relationship for her that she would respect you more? Come on ........ If you cannot afford an engagement ring how can you afford Rent, Utility Bills, and Food? If you loved her so much you would be sure that these things were taken care of! You are selfish and immature for not considering these things in a serious manner. a4a
glittergurl Posted October 27, 2005 Posted October 27, 2005 Well ehmm, lilgee is from North Carolina ... which happens to be where I live too, and boy, do they marry young here. I have no idea why. I think it's a religious thing or something. Never understood it though; they mess up their lives and actually seem to love it. Not saying all the kids here do, because there are some smart ones in the bunch; but I see it happening a lot around me. I hate to sound all judgmental, but I do see a correlation between the lack of education, extreme religion, and young marriages/pregnancies.
a4a Posted October 27, 2005 Posted October 27, 2005 Well Glitter I am just South of the border from you...... I would have to agree that is more common in this area.....and accepted. I was chatting with the probate (not probation) officer about this when getting my marriage lic. She stated it is very common to have the parents sign over their kids to marriage more often than people would think. Do you hear gunshots where you live? LMAO! Its like a friggin project here....... hunters of course, but who the hell knows when a stray bullet is headed your way...... I feel like I have to put on a orange vest to go check the mail! LMAO! Oh the joys of country living! Gots to head on out to the Crick to warsh my britches..............gotta get er done. a4a
glittergurl Posted October 27, 2005 Posted October 27, 2005 Oh my God! We do! lol We even found plastic deer targets in our backyard when we bought the house; full of bullets. Jee, and me and my feelings that can't get over a little possum we accidentally ran over last year ... And yeah, I agree about parents signing for their kids to get married. My in-laws are about to sign for my hubby's little sister who's only 16. They want her out of the house and it doesn't seem to matter that she's with a loser As long as they do it the way the Bible says **sigh** It happens a lot. It's sad.
a4a Posted October 27, 2005 Posted October 27, 2005 And yeah, I agree about parents signing for their kids to get married. My in-laws are about to sign for my hubby's little sister who's only 16. They want her out of the house and it doesn't seem to matter that she's with a loser As long as they do it the way the Bible says **sigh** It happens a lot. It's sad. Why don't they just sell her on the black market and at least make a profit? I recken if they is two youngin's that much in love it is better to go head get em hitched before they start to sinnin'. I can't wait to hear that she is with child so the marriage with strengthen up right quick! Dah babies always settle them young girls right quick. I do declare it's a fine thing to see another youngin' being fruitful and fulfilled. Holy granola bars.........what the hell are her parents thinking? Are you going to attend this celebration of love? Are there shotguns involved? You should have froze that opposum and made a dish to bring to the celebration! (disrespect to the expired animal is NOT intended). a4a- i hear a banjo out there.
glittergurl Posted October 27, 2005 Posted October 27, 2005 Hahah No I'm not going to be there, I'll be too busy visiting my family in Europe ... far far away
u_would_b_lonley_too Posted October 27, 2005 Posted October 27, 2005 hey, i got married at 18. I just turned 19. I dont see anything wrong with it. Me and my h were together for about 3 years when we got married. We didnt have sex before. We have a log home of our own (not renting). we both have jobs. Everything has worked out fine for us. Some people 18 is to young to get married, bc there imature.But not everyone. My mom married my dad when she was 16 and had me, theyer still together. How did you 2 meet? I met my h by chasing him down for a ride (he has a 70 'cuda, my dream car) and i really wanted to ride in it. so when he asked me to marry him, he drove us back to that parking lot and said the car was messed up so he got out and raised the hood and came to my side and asked me to help him so when i got out to help him, he got down on his knee and asked me to marry him (very romantic). Oh and the ring came from kmart and it didnt matter to me, i was just so happy that he had asked me, and of course i love him so much why would the price of a ring matter? I wish we could move to NC, I think its beautiful there. We went to Cherokee NC for our honeymoon. It was great.
u_would_b_lonley_too Posted October 28, 2005 Posted October 28, 2005 That just chokes me up. a4a Who are you? Do you think you know EVERYTHANG? the guy got on here for advice and you get on here and just have RUDE comments about anythang he or anyone else says! Just leave him alone. You dont know him, maybe they are really in love and maybe he can afford everythang he says he can. You wouldnt no. Me and my h are doin just fine, not all things are bad in life.I think that your miserable with yours so you have to dog everone else.
u_would_b_lonley_too Posted October 29, 2005 Posted October 29, 2005 lol@everythang yeah im a country girl gotta prob. with it?
a4a Posted October 29, 2005 Posted October 29, 2005 I am glad things are working out for you......however when a young person posts that he cannot afford a ring...how can he afford a child? On the backs of the people who pay taxes I guess? It has nothing to do with living in the country...it has to do with making smart decisions that not only effect the people that are "in love" but actually effect me and others as well. What about the children, do they not deserve better? Not to mention having kids at a very young age that take away oppurtunities for young men and women to become more prepared to be parents, productive, and in most cases attain a higher education. I live in the country myself.... however, I choose to not have tunnel vision. a4a
u_would_b_lonley_too Posted October 29, 2005 Posted October 29, 2005 I am glad things are working out for you......however when a young person posts that he cannot afford a ring...how can he afford a child? On the backs of the people who pay taxes I guess? It has nothing to do with living in the country...it has to do with making smart decisions that not only effect the people that are "in love" but actually effect me and others as well. What about the children, do they not deserve better? Not to mention having kids at a very young age that take away oppurtunities for young men and women to become more prepared to be parents, productive, and in most cases attain a higher education. I live in the country myself.... however, I choose to not have tunnel vision. a4a I didnt say anythang about kids. we plan on waiting atleast 3 years before we start to have a baby. And IF we do get pregnant anytime soon, we can afford it. I dont know this boy. And yeah that makes sence, if he cant buy a ring he cant afford a baby, but he just wants to get engaged, he didnt say he wanted a baby.
glittergurl Posted October 29, 2005 Posted October 29, 2005 ... if he cant buy a ring he cant afford a baby, but he just wants to get engaged, he didnt say he wanted a baby. Yeh he did, he said he wouldn't mind if kids "accidentally came along". He's so immature
Recommended Posts