Scarcity Adds Value

March 9, 2022

Hey guys, I've been observing and experimenting and I am now convinced this is 100% true.

Whether marketing a product in sales, or yourself dating, the more scarce you are, the more valued you are.

Not in a "gaming" way but genuinely being busy with life, with friends, family, job etc.

Even on this forum I've noticed it. There is one particular poster who very rarely posts and when he does, it's typically just one brief paragraph.

And he always gets a zillion likes (exaggeration lol) but he always receives many likes even though in truth he didn't say much or anything all that different from others and they received no likes!

It's quite interesting.

In sales, it's the same. Ever notice when looking for the best product, the product in scarce supply is always or often the one you want!

You think, must be a good product since there are so few left.

In romance, I'm experiencing this now. The less available I am (genuinely not a game), the more my 'boyfriend' wants to see me!

And vice versa.

Anyway, I'm curious what your thoughts are, I find it fascinating!

March 9, 2022

9 minutes ago, poppyfields said:

In romance, I'm experiencing this now. The less available I am (genuinely not a game), the more my 'boyfriend' wants to see me!

Yes, it's works to some extent. But if you are going to become less and less available and are going to start spending less quality time with him, he is going to be less than impressed. Doesn't quite matter whether or not you have a genuine excuse. He is probably going to try talking to you first about how he wants to see you more and if it's not going to happen, he is going to end things or slow fade. Just the observation based on my past experiences.

March 9, 2022

17 minutes ago, poppyfields said:

The less available I am (genuinely not a game), the more my 'boyfriend' wants to see me!

For me... if I hear "No, I'm not available" a few times, I'll move on.

Date planning takes effort, time and research. If I don't feel like the woman wants to make time to see me, I must not be all that important.

I really don't want to waste my time and money going after a woman that is seeing 5 different guys and trying to suss out which one is the most worthy or she is so busy with other aspects of her life that I'm on the back burner all the time.

No thanks, I'll move on to someone who wants to see/date me.

I need to be important to her.

March 9, 2022

1 minute ago, Happy Lemming said:

For me... if I hear "No, I'm not available" a few times, I'll move on.

Yes, that is exactly what I was talking about in my previous post. If you say you are "too busy to meet" to a guy few times, he is going to move on.

March 9, 2022

Hmm. I do think there's some truth to this, particularly once a relationship is established. However, are you considering trying to manipulate your BF's feelings/interest in you via "scarcity"? If so, I'd suggest you be quite cautious with this approach. It could backfire if he eventually starts getting used to the emotional impact and resenting you for it, or, if he's the type who has lots of options, thinking that other pastures might be greener, and/or looking for a 2nd GF to fill up all that spare time, etc...

Edited March 9, 2022 by mark clemson

March 9, 2022

31 minutes ago, mark clemson said:

However, are you considering trying to manipulate your BF's feelings/interest in you via "scarcity"? If so, I'd suggest you be quite cautious with this approach. It could backfire.

Thanks for responding guys but I think you have interpreted this incorrectly.

No there is absolutely no manipulation going on or game playing or me intentionally being unavailable.

I specifically stated in my post "genuinely busy, no game playing." Perhaps you missed that part.

I also posted "and vice versa" meaning he is sometimes too!

It's just a very busy time for me and he owns a business so for him too.

And I have noticed a difference in how he treats me, values me and I him, that's all.

We miss each other and when we do get together, it's that much more exciting, fun etc.

It's something I have observed and not just in dating, but in sales, on forums, everywhere.

Even when in a LTR, I noticed whenever my boyfriends traveled or we were away from each other for a time, we valued each other more.

I do NOT advocate game playing or manipulation for this purpose, just wanted to clarify that.

Edited March 9, 2022 by poppyfields

March 9, 2022

45 minutes ago, Happy Lemming said:

For me... if I hear "No, I'm not available" a few times, I'll move on.

HL, I don't just say "I'm not available," I let him know exactly why I am not available, it's legit. And I suggest another day.

And he's into me (and I him), so no he's not just gonna move on, nor am I when he's unavailable.

Interested people don't just move on, they make it work, which we're doing.

Edited March 9, 2022 by poppyfields

March 9, 2022

Just look at the gas prices recently

Edited March 9, 2022 by Wiseman2

March 9, 2022

1 hour ago, poppyfields said:

Hey guys, I've been observing and experimenting and I am now convinced this is 100% true.

Whether marketing a product in sales, or yourself dating, the more scarce you are, the more valued you are.

Not in a "gaming" way but genuinely being busy with life, with friends, family, job etc.

Even on this forum I've noticed it. There is one particular poster who very rarely posts and when he does, it's typically just one brief paragraph.

And he always gets a zillion likes (exaggeration lol) but he always receives many likes even though in truth he didn't say much or anything all that different from others and they received no likes!

It's quite interesting.

In sales, it's the same. Ever notice when looking for the best product, the product in scarce supply is always or often the one you want!

You think, must be a good product since there are so few left.

In romance, I'm experiencing this now. The less available I am (genuinely not a game), the more my 'boyfriend' wants to see me!

And vice versa.

Anyway, I'm curious what your thoughts are, I find it fascinating!

is scarcity real or fake?

for example…gas prices and oil oroduction. oPEC limits production creating scarcity raising prices. There really isn’t a shortage.

in any social media message board…fir whatever reason you might have perceived favorites fir various reasons like likeability, they are in agreement with a sub population on the message board. On message boards in particular topic areas there might be someone who has developed a reputation of being an expert in this particular subject or they might be an “ insider” on some things in this topic.

March 9, 2022

19 minutes ago, poppyfields said:

Thanks for responding guys but I think you have interpreted this incorrectly.

No there is absolutely no manipulation going on or game playing or me intentionally being unavailable.

I specifically stated in my post "genuinely busy, no game playing." Perhaps you missed that part.

I also posted "and vice versa" meaning he is sometimes too!

It's just a very busy time for me and he owns a business so for him too.

And I have noticed a difference in how he treats me, values me and I him, that's all.

We miss each other and when we do get together, it's that much more exciting, fun etc.

It's something I have observed and not just in dating, but in sales, on forums, everywhere.

Even when in a LTR, I noticed whenever my boyfriends traveled or we were away from each other for a time, we valued each other more.

I do NOT advocate game playing or manipulation for this purpose, just wanted to clarify that.

Sure…

there is pumpkin spice season

Girl Scout cookie season

Easter candy season

promotion specials st fast food restaurants in limited supply

thsts all manufactured.

lsame try in being busy is manufactured. You didn’t have to travel.

March 9, 2022

14 minutes ago, poppyfields said:

HL, I don't just say "I'm not available," I let him know exactly why I am not available, it's legit. And I suggest another day.

And he's into me (and I him), so no he's not just gonna move on, nor am I when he's unavailable.

Interested people don't just move on, they make it work, which we're doing.

ETA: And just to clarify, he is the only man I'm dating right now. We haven't discussed "exclusivity" per se, but decided to focus on only each other and see where it leads.

March 9, 2022

I think this is true sometimes, to an extent. Having a life outside of the relationship , not being TOO available, and not always being the person's lap dog is a good thing. But if a person is very unavailable, busy a lot.... it could definitely cause a relationship to go south and some people would lose patience for it and move on. There's a delicate balance. Everyone has different expectations of how often they want someone to be "available", how often they want to see each other.

But to say "the less available you are, the more a partner will want you"... no that's absolutely not true

March 9, 2022

Just now, ShyViolet said:

There's a delicate balance...

Absolutely agree with that!

Balance is so important, thank you for acknowledging that @ShyViolet.

March 9, 2022

1 hour ago, poppyfields said:

Hey guys, I've been observing and experimenting and I am now convinced this is 100% true.

Whether marketing a product in sales, or yourself dating, the more scarce you are, the more valued you are.

Not in a "gaming" way but genuinely being busy with life, with friends, family, job etc.

Even on this forum I've noticed it. There is one particular poster who very rarely posts and when he does, it's typically just one brief paragraph.

And he always gets a zillion likes (exaggeration lol) but he always receives many likes even though in truth he didn't say much or anything all that different from others and they received no likes!

It's quite interesting.

In sales, it's the same. Ever notice when looking for the best product, the product in scarce supply is always or often the one you want!

You think, must be a good product since there are so few left.

In romance, I'm experiencing this now. The less available I am (genuinely not a game), the more my 'boyfriend' wants to see me!

And vice versa.

Anyway, I'm curious what your thoughts are, I find it fascinating!

i agree with conditions. i think in early dating it can be tricky, like many are saying after being shrugged off so many times a person will give up. but, in a relationship for sure. i've found with girls i've dated that breaking habits of always hanging out on certain days or times, or expecting each other to be available, it can make the other person try harder. or, it can have the adverse effect, and start creating suspicion.

i think it's a weird fine line between believable preoccupation and what the other party perceives. when it is clear both parties miss time together, yes. good example of that is having to be out of town for non-leisure purposes.

create a perceived demand for yourself or your time.

i mean, i'm always free and no one wants to date me, maybe i should become real freakin busy.

March 9, 2022

2 hours ago, poppyfields said:

...

In sales, it's the same. Ever notice when looking for the best product, the product in scarce supply is always or often the one you want!

You think, must be a good product since there are so few left.

In romance, I'm experiencing this now. The less available I am (genuinely not a game), the more my 'boyfriend' wants to see me!

And vice versa.

Anyway, I'm curious what your thoughts are, I find it fascinating!

I agree scarcity is a core sales tactic, and much written about is about creating a false sense of it and how to manipulate people's brain with it.

My personal view is train yourself out of it. In part it relies on a keep up with the Jone's, status seeking, etc. need. Usually scarcity is false, or and even if real so what? The logic that if it is rare it must be good is as vacuous as if it is new and shiny it must be better.

Or another way, it trades off of pathos so you don't engage your reason (logos). It certainly works, has been working for 1000s of years, the ancient Greeks wrote extensively about it and when pathos won the day in the forum it was usually a very bad day for the populous.

On interpersonal relationships it usually backfires on me, if someone is not available I make alternative plans, and if they do it often enough I end up developing an alternative way of living that doesn't involve them. It may seem like I want them more just because to find a time they are available means I have to keep asking, but doesn't mean I feel or think they must be more valuable or desirable, very much the opposite but will only mention their unavailability once or twice. Then one day just may meet someone else and break it off with the other person, which really ends up being more just stop doing all the heavy lifting and it ends on its own.

Edited March 9, 2022 by SumGuy

March 9, 2022

2 hours ago, poppyfields said:

Hey guys, I've been observing and experimenting and I am now convinced this is 100% true.

Whether marketing a product in sales, or yourself dating, the more scarce you are, the more valued you are.

Not in a "gaming" way but genuinely being busy with life, with friends, family, job etc.

Even on this forum I've noticed it. There is one particular poster who very rarely posts and when he does, it's typically just one brief paragraph.

And he always gets a zillion likes (exaggeration lol) but he always receives many likes even though in truth he didn't say much or anything all that different from others and they received no likes!

It's quite interesting.

In sales, it's the same. Ever notice when looking for the best product, the product in scarce supply is always or often the one you want!

You think, must be a good product since there are so few left.

In romance, I'm experiencing this now. The less available I am (genuinely not a game), the more my 'boyfriend' wants to see me!

And vice versa.

Anyway, I'm curious what your thoughts are, I find it fascinating!

I agree to an extent. There is some inherent value to not being available. It's what drives social proof and the positional good in consumer products, if someone else has this product (especially if they appear to be doing better than me in life) then I have to have it as well. In relationships it's similar, if this person's time is limited, I have to spend time with this person now because I may not be able to later. There's this added aspect that this person isn't spending time with me, then they may be spending time with someone else and *may* just choose them over me eventually.

The saying "how can I miss you if you won't ever go away" is absolutely valid IMO. Spending time apart is very healthy for a relationship and naturally creates scarcity on both sides. Scarcity translates into missing that person, which translates into attraction. Attraction grows in the absence of the other person. So that's one reason why both people should have lives outside of their partners.

I'd add that that product (or person) has to be something or someone that people actually desire, something that is unique and not readily available. With the person you describe they have to offer a perpsective that's novel and illuminating.

If the the product is different but doesn't add to someone's life in some measurable way or does not carry the perception that it adds to someone's life, then doesn't matter how scarce it is, it won't be valued more. So it's the uniqueness/utility of the product in addition to the scarcity that really amplifies value.

Edited March 9, 2022 by dramafreezone

March 9, 2022

Just now, SumGuy said:

My personal view is train yourself out of it. In part it relies on a keep up with the Jone's, status

Not sure if you read my subsequent posts, but I genuinely have a lot going on with work and school, terminally ill brother so I am genuinely busy.

Nothing I can train myself out of because it's not intentional.

And I've noticed how, in his eyes, it does increase my value or perhaps it's other things that increase it, it's not like we've discussed it. Again, just something I've been observing.

In any event, I am enjoying what we have and appreciate that he understands my time constraints, doesn't take personally, nor do I when he is sometimes unavailable.

March 9, 2022

15 minutes ago, dramafreezone said:

So it's the uniqueness/utility of the product in addition to the scarcity that really amplifies value.

Thanks DFZ, I agree with this.

There are most likely many variables that deem something or someone valuable.

Its/their unavailability (scarcity) may be just a small part of how someone values you or rather amplifies your value (in their eyes) as you said.

Edited March 9, 2022 by poppyfields

March 9, 2022

1 hour ago, poppyfields said:

No there is absolutely no manipulation going on or game playing or me intentionally being unavailable.

I think that's wise. The saying "absence makes the heart go fonder" has been around for a while, but so has the counterpoint "out of sight, out of mind". So not something to "tinker with" if one values the relationship IMO.

March 9, 2022

7 minutes ago, mark clemson said:

I think that's wise. The saying "absence makes the heart go fonder" has been around for a while, but so has the counterpoint "out of sight, out of mind". So not something to "tinker with" if one values the relationship IMO.

Thank you, I agree..

It does go both ways though as HE is not always available either, when I initiate.

Like me, he suggests another time.

Things are good and again I am happy we both have a solid understanding about it and don't take it personally.

However this thread was not only about our relationship but about scarcity in general as it relates to everything not just dating.

Thank you to everyone for responding! Much appreciated.

Edited March 9, 2022 by poppyfields

March 9, 2022

I always say we desire most what we can't have. Being less available make you more desirable. Having a little aloofness make you mysterious and more interesting....

March 9, 2022

They definitely teach you that in sales...like limited edition, going like hotcakes! only a few left, sold out! then they release more spaces, tickets, units, etc. Ramping up that emotion of missing out is very powerful.

March 9, 2022

Just now, smackie9 said:

I always say we desire most what we can't have. Being less available make you more desirable. Having a little aloofness make you mysterious and more interesting....

I cannot speak for the man I'm dating, but this definitely holds true for me, about him!

In a good positive way of course.

March 9, 2022

Just now, poppyfields said:

I cannot speak for the man I'm dating, but this definitely holds true for me, about him!

In a good positive way of course.

Ya no one likes a clinger, doormat, eager to pleaser. It's funny how some guys think that's the way to go, even after years of being friend zone, stuck in someone's orbit.

March 9, 2022

Hmm.

Not in the relationships I've been in.

Also, why be sparse just to attract or hold someone's attention? Unless that interest may not be there then I guess it could work.

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