kleaners Posted March 9, 2022 Posted March 9, 2022 Let's say you engage in conversation with someone and it seems to be going pretty well over the course of a few days. Maybe you don't hear from the other person in a day or two, so you send a message and there's a brief conversation. Another day or so and no communication. At what point do you stop initiating conversation? I've played the game too many times and quite honestly, I tire of chasing after people. If the person is truly interested in you, shouldn't they start up a conversation once in awhile? Am I playing a childish game, or do you do the same? 1
glows Posted March 9, 2022 Posted March 9, 2022 Yes, of course. Be around people who feel the same way about you when it comes to friendships or relationships. Don't spend your time chasing after someone who either doesn't have the maturity to reciprocate (keeps people waiting or playing mind games) or isn't available. 2
Happy Lemming Posted March 9, 2022 Posted March 9, 2022 If you are talking about dating, I call the woman up and ask her out. I present my idea for the date (Day-Time-Place- Activity). I'll call on a Wednesday evening for a Friday night date and a Thursday evening for a Saturday night date. Other than that, I never really called a woman up (that I am newly dating) just to chit-chat. I prefer to save that chit-chat stuff for the actual date, so we have something to talk about. Have you called this person up and asked them out on a date?? If not, is there a reason?? 1
Wiseman2 Posted March 9, 2022 Posted March 9, 2022 47 minutes ago, kleaners said: Maybe you don't hear from the other person in a day or two, so you send a message and there's a brief conversation. Another day or so and no communication. Think of texting as a tennis volley. That means you don't hit twice or more. You wait for a reply before sending more messages. So if someone doesn't reply you drop it. They have your contact info so the ball is in their court, so to speak. 2
BreakOnThrough Posted March 9, 2022 Posted March 9, 2022 Leave it be, if she comes back around, great, if not, just assume Chad Thundercock came in to the picture and replaced you.
Ami1uwant Posted March 9, 2022 Posted March 9, 2022 1 hour ago, kleaners said: Let's say you engage in conversation with someone and it seems to be going pretty well over the course of a few days. Maybe you don't hear from the other person in a day or two, so you send a message and there's a brief conversation. Another day or so and no communication. At what point do you stop initiating conversation? I've played the game too many times and quite honestly, I tire of chasing after people. If the person is truly interested in you, shouldn't they start up a conversation once in awhile? Am I playing a childish game, or do you do the same? From someone on OLD I just start texting/ emails… it depends on what it is. If it’s e-mails there is going to be delays vs more back and forth texting. If it’s back and forth texting where it’s not a big delay between texting. I look fir conversational back and forth. If it’s just someone answering questions but not asking questions is a BIG turnoff. Only after a couple of those do I say @#$&* it.
Author kleaners Posted March 9, 2022 Author Posted March 9, 2022 3 minutes ago, Ami1uwant said: From someone on OLD I just start texting/ emails… it depends on what it is. If it’s e-mails there is going to be delays vs more back and forth texting. If it’s back and forth texting where it’s not a big delay between texting. I look fir conversational back and forth. If it’s just someone answering questions but not asking questions is a BIG turnoff. Only after a couple of those do I say @#$&* it. A first we were conversing through the dating site, then I offered my phone number. Weekends and during the day I'd expect less conversation, but in the evening, just to say "hi" at least doesn't take much effort. I agree. If she's not curious about me, I'm gone.
glows Posted March 9, 2022 Posted March 9, 2022 Have you met this person? It's not realistic to be expecting regular or daily conversation if you haven't met in person. 3
Wiseman2 Posted March 9, 2022 Posted March 9, 2022 Just now, kleaners said: A first we were conversing through the dating site, then I offered my phone number. Too much chitchat, too many lateral moves especially getting numbers . Go straight to setting up a brief meeting for a drink/coffee asap at a mutually convenient time/place/day. Why bother wondering or worrying about texting if you haven't met in person yet? 1
Author kleaners Posted March 9, 2022 Author Posted March 9, 2022 2 minutes ago, glows said: Have you met this person? It's not realistic to be expecting regular or daily conversation if you haven't met in person. No, haven't met in person. I would think people would want to engage in regular conversation to feel out whether meeting in person is a good idea or not.
Author kleaners Posted March 9, 2022 Author Posted March 9, 2022 3 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said: Go straight to setting up a brief meeting for a drink/coffee asap at a mutually convenient time/place/day. I'm not sure what the appropriate amount of time is to offer a face-to-face meeting. It's been awhile since I've dated. *L*
Ami1uwant Posted March 9, 2022 Posted March 9, 2022 6 minutes ago, kleaners said: A first we were conversing through the dating site, then I offered my phone number. Weekends and during the day I'd expect less conversation, but in the evening, just to say "hi" at least doesn't take much effort. I agree. If she's not curious about me, I'm gone. My old rule.. stsrt talking on phone. If it lasts fir 20 minutes…talk about meeting face to face. no stringing pen pals along. 3
glows Posted March 9, 2022 Posted March 9, 2022 2 minutes ago, kleaners said: No, haven't met in person. I would think people would want to engage in regular conversation to feel out whether meeting in person is a good idea or not. I'm a woman and I don't prefer that. At the most two or three well-thought out messages and a phone call are sufficient. It's better to meet within a few days, no more than a week. I would not respond to regular messages unless I know the person very well. Someone who needs to converse regularly before meeting would strike me as insecure or needing validation that I can't provide. I'm sorry - not that kind of gal. 3
smackie9 Posted March 10, 2022 Posted March 10, 2022 If the conversation is enthusiastic and they respond to your other messages right away, ask them out on a date like seize the moment. Never do this wait and see for weeks crap. Move on and chat with multiples. 2
Happy Lemming Posted March 10, 2022 Posted March 10, 2022 As soon as she gives you her phone number, plan a nice date (Day-Time-Place-Activity) and ask her out. Call her, don't text... be brave young warrior -- talk to her on your phone, let her hear your voice and your enthusiasm (in your voice). If she says "no", move on to the next one. 3
Author kleaners Posted March 10, 2022 Author Posted March 10, 2022 Unfortunately there's been limited opportunity to actually meet in person. She had plans last weekend and since then the conversation has simply died off. At this point, unless I hear from her, I'm considering this dead. I was keeping an open mind (she was the one who initially contacted me), but I imagine the hour distance between us would probably have been a detractor, especially with gas costs. 1
glows Posted March 10, 2022 Posted March 10, 2022 10 minutes ago, kleaners said: Unfortunately there's been limited opportunity to actually meet in person. She had plans last weekend and since then the conversation has simply died off. At this point, unless I hear from her, I'm considering this dead. I was keeping an open mind (she was the one who initially contacted me), but I imagine the hour distance between us would probably have been a detractor, especially with gas costs. Let her reach out to you. In the meantime check your other matches. I wouldn’t wait.
Author kleaners Posted March 10, 2022 Author Posted March 10, 2022 2 minutes ago, glows said: Let her reach out to you. In the meantime check your other matches. I wouldn’t wait. Definitely not. 1
Wiseman2 Posted March 11, 2022 Posted March 11, 2022 Anyone who won't meet in a timely fashion is a red flag and timewaster. Review your dating app settings with regard to preferences distances etc. Screen more to avoid burnout. 1
Happy Lemming Posted March 11, 2022 Posted March 11, 2022 3 hours ago, Wiseman2 said: Anyone who won't meet in a timely fashion is a red flag and timewaster. Exactly... if she starts telling you she can't go out on this day, then that day and she has a prior commitment on this next day... just move on. 1
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