Author omegaRED Posted November 13, 2005 Author Posted November 13, 2005 Thanks for the replies... I`m gonna decide whether i`m gonna see her during this day. If not, i`ll just say what i have to say to her via sms. I don`t think it`d make a difference, but i want to get the things i wanna tell her off my chest. Thanks again, guys and girls...
Author omegaRED Posted November 13, 2005 Author Posted November 13, 2005 Well, i just did it. I sent her an SMS, "No use meeting tommorrow. Too little, too late, unnecessary. So long and thanks for all the fish". It`s finally over. Now, the rest of my life begins. I`ll still be here tho Thanks again guys and girls
Art_Critic Posted November 13, 2005 Posted November 13, 2005 Props to ya... Now you can start healing.. Good luck
Author omegaRED Posted November 13, 2005 Author Posted November 13, 2005 You get a reply bud? Nah. And i didn`t expect one. With this, i finally gave her freedom and reason to let go completely It`s over, for both of us. No more ties.
chocolate_boy Posted November 13, 2005 Posted November 13, 2005 Nah. And i didn`t expect one. With this, i finally gave her freedom and reason to let go completely It`s over, for both of us. No more ties. Cool now finalise it.. I did ... DELETE her number.. then you cannot be in touch unless she initiates it. Yes it is scary, but hey.
Author omegaRED Posted November 14, 2005 Author Posted November 14, 2005 Oh i deleted her numbers, e-mails, etc. a week or so ago
J dub Posted November 14, 2005 Posted November 14, 2005 Omega, There's a chance that perhaps her and the boss are currently fighting or some such and that's why she suddenly decided she had time to talk. There's a saying, something about when you really want something, no matter how busy you are you MAKE time. If previously she was super busy, she still could have taken an hour to speak with you. I think you know that but perhaps need a reminder. As for closure, I mean geeze, you'd think that's the least she can do after what she put you thru. Clearly she's still in selfish mode. People who cheat are extremely selfish and lack self-esteem. The whole part you explained about her withdrawing emotionally, physically...all that --- *right* when I read that I knew she met someone else. I find it hard to believe that you could simply SAY something to another (albeit somewhat harsh, but what you said was not THAT BAD!) and cause them to completely shut down like she did. I think what happened was you pegged that she was up to something and she took that as an opportunity to emotionally check-out from the relationship. The reason you fought all the time is also another symptom of a cheater. They look for ways to justify their relationship with another (well, we fight all the time, so its ok if I am with ____). As far as you doubting whether or not you truly saw her holding hands with this other guy, that is a normal reaction to seeing something you completely didnt expect. You start wondering if perhaps you imagined it..you second guess yourself, the whole nine. Honestly, you know what you saw and your head is just clouded right now with so much emotion and distress that you dont know which way is up any longer. Its understandable and a lot of people respond that same way. My father was cheated on for 5 yrs and I witnessed all of this sort of thing while I grew up. It's very difficult and heart-wrenching, and I truly feel for you. She lost her opportunity to explain herself, you are well on your way to acceptance and healing and I strongly agree that you continue on that route. You have to be careful with your heart right now, and speaking with her might open up a can of worms containing god knows what inside (but you deleted her stuff so thats good). I wish you the best of luck & take it easy on yourself...
chocolate_boy Posted November 14, 2005 Posted November 14, 2005 Here's a true story you may take some inspiration from. My aunty was married to a guy for 20 years, and found out that he had been having an affair for three of them, she broke up with him and got divorced, was very down and on the prozac etc. Turns out the woman he'd been with also was married, to a guy who was wheelchair bound... The reason for this is because when he was 22 his girlfriend left him, and it cut him up so much he wanted out, and jumped off a railway bridge.. didn't kill him, but left him partially paralysed. This b*tch left him on his own, and all his neighbors presumed he had gone away cos his house was in total darkness for weeks.... turns out the lightbulbs had gone and he was too proud to ask for help in changing them. Think it couldn't get any worse... However, in the months that followed he met a lovely woman who is now his wife.. she is 100x more loving, faithful and not to mention HOT, and he now has 2 kids with her, he has never been happier. Does everything happen for a reason I wonder...
Author omegaRED Posted November 14, 2005 Author Posted November 14, 2005 No, her boss left for Austria, that`s why she had the time. I knew that as soon as i got the message. As soon as i saw her with her boss, all the pieces of the puzzle fell into place. Suddenly, everything was clear. I *wanted* to be wrong, but clearly, they were right before my eyes. I`ve gathered all the things she gave me and reminded me of her, packed it in a bag and stuffed it somewhere where i wont see it. I wanted to throw that away, but really, there`s some nice practical stuff there that i`ll use and wear, once i feel that i`m over her completely. I`m not going to talk to her again. That was the final thing. I don`t know how i`ll react if/when i see her, but probably gonna ignore her completely or send a condescending smile. And really, i don`t care if i come off as an ashole. And yes, i feel like i`m well on the way to healing. She broke up just over 2 months ago, but lead me on, about a month or so i think i finally accepted the break-up, even though she still couldn`t give me closure. Two weeks ago, i saw her with the boss and everything became clear. The last two weeks, remarkably, were not that bad. In fact, i felt relieved. I knew the reason. I wasn`t beating myself up anymore about what i did wrong, what could have, should have etc... So yeah, this was more like a symbolic, "F**k you, you played with me, you`re not worth another second of my life". I got what i needed. I realized she is a selfish, cowardly b1tch. So good riddance Thanks JDub
Author omegaRED Posted November 14, 2005 Author Posted November 14, 2005 Hey chocolate_boy, That`s a nice story. And i really do believe everything happens for a reason. I`m not down anymore. I`m not focusing on getting a GF. I just do my stuff, look for a better job, focus on myself, hang out with frieds i`ve grown distant with when i was with my ex, and what will come, will come. I can think of a dozen of things that turned out unexpectedly good, out of the darkest situations. I have faith.
mazza32cott Posted November 14, 2005 Posted November 14, 2005 I can understand your pain. She has been the ultimate b*tch to you. I went out with a guy who went back to his ex, was even seeing her while I was with him. They broke up again, he came back, lived with me for 3 months and then went back to the ex on New Year's Eve. Sent me a text saying got to speak to the ex. Won't be home tonight but that doesn't mean we're through. He left me and went back to the ex... Man, New Years Eve, I was so hurt, so devastated, didn't want to be on this earth. He left her again came back to me but I wouldn't take him back. He then went back to her again. They moved states. Four weeks later, he rang me to say he missed me and that he'd made the wrong choice. He flew back to this state. I said he could stay with me for a while but that I didn't want to live together straight away because I needed him to show me that he loved me and was there for me and not just for convenience. He wouldn't move out. Finally after 10 weeks he did, but he spat the dummy. He met another woman on the same night and is still with her 3 weeks later. I had told him that I loved him and that the moving was only a temporary measure because I needed to feel he was with me for the right reasons. I did everything for him, spent money buying tools and clothes etc because his ex wouldn't give him any of his stuff. I feel like he just used me and didn't give a f**k about me. I feel like I've just been chucked away. He came and saw me and we had sex, it was great but he still went back to the new woman. So hurtful, he still sms me and it is soooo difficult but I know he is just making me hang on in case his next relationship doesn't work. He was a liar, I caught him out but it is because I loved him that I let the lies go.... This is what I put into another post, I hope it helps: Yes the misery of it all. It is because we love deeply why we are all like this. I guess the one good thing is that we can love deeply because that is one hell of a good feeling that others do not get. When the right one comes along and we can safely love deeply just think of the joy life can bring to us. Not like some others who cannot love like us and just exist in relationships because it is somewhere to be, someone to be with. Now to the problem, can't sleep, can't work, don't want to see anybody, don't want to go out......feel miserable, sad, no point going on, psyco even. You need to work on yourself. You have to push yourself to work, go out, talk to friends etc.... That is how you heal. I have been drinking and smoking more. Disgusting I know but it is what I have to do to get through this. I don't recommend it though. The pain will go away. Don't go back there because you may very well end up with this pain again and you don't want that. Think positive, write a note and list everything you want out of a woman/man and put it under the matress. Make sure one is love, faithfullness and loyalty. Two of them and what we certainly did not get from those who have hurt us and that is love and loyalty. Tell yourself you are no longer going to be a b*st*rd/bitch magnet. Let that cycle of your life go. Nothing is better than love, just be happy we can give it. Go out and find the lucky person who is privileged enough to receive it. Maz
Author omegaRED Posted November 14, 2005 Author Posted November 14, 2005 I dont know Maz... I mean, i`m a very forgiving person. But there`s one thing i cannot and will not forgive/forget: Unfaithfullness. And well obviously dishonesty at this level. I don`t know how you gathered the strength to let him back into your life. I could never do it. I`m loyal, faithfull and honest to the death. I expect nothing less from my GF/wife. If i suspect something`s not right, either with my feelings or hers, i can`t go on. It eats me inside. I know i wouldn`t be able to sleep at night if i did something like she did to me. She, obviously, can, and sees nothing wrong in the way she treated me. So, again, good riddance. So it`s more a dissapointment than anger, i guess. She let me down as a person, friend and a lover. I have zero respect for her now. Things could have gone differently if she had been honest from the start. Less pain, maybe we could have even been friends in a few years time. This way... She`s a nobody to me.
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