Dating site scams

[kleaners]

While I believe some dating sites have value, at the same time I think some of them are scams. I just signed up on a site and merely answered the basic questions to register. I haven't added a description about myself and what I'm looking for, nor have I uploaded photos. Yet there's a message in my inbox from a user, but I can't read it unless I subscribe. Unless this person is desperate to meet anyone with a pulse, it seems like a plant from the site to garner subscriptions. This to me is deceptive and the practice should stop. People use online dating sites for a reason. It's not cool to toy with people's emotions, getting their hopes up that someone might have a genuine interest.

[Gaeta]

I do not register to dating sites that require payments to read my messages. I use paying sites yes, but I avoid those you're describing. 

Yes there are scams everywhere. Even the best of algorithms have problem dedecting them. You just need to get smart and delete them. They don't want to hurt your heart, they want your money. I'm a woman and I have a good nose recognizing them right away. My male friend who's been doing online dating for as long as I have still has a huge problem recognizing the female scammers. Sorry to say this but it's like his D&ck is doing the thinking instead of his head so each time he has a new contact on the dating app he sends me her picture so I can tell him if she's a scam or not. He has sent me pictures of women identifying themself as being 55 years old but it's obvious she's no more than 28. My friend doesn't see the scam, he just thinks 'oh she looks good for her age', or the lady says she's from Toronto but all of her pictures are taken in exotic countries OR all her pictures are taken in a closed bedroom. To me they are SO obvious!

The best way is to talk on the phone quick, video call, and meet after a few days. 

You're not suppose to build emotions and hopes. If you do then you've invested too much time on that online person. This how they play their games. 

Edited March 6, 2022 by Gaeta

[glows]

Ignore it or delete. You know it’s not a real person so no response required. I’m so sorry this is frustrating. Perhaps report the message so the administrators can deal with the issue.

[kleaners]

2 minutes ago, glows said:

Ignore it or delete. You know it’s not a real person so no response required. I’m so sorry this is frustrating. Perhaps report the message so the administrators can deal with the issue.

For sure going to ignore it, but would messaging the administrators do much if it's the people behind the site who are operating these "fake" profiles?

[glows]

1 minute ago, kleaners said:

For sure going to ignore it, but would messaging the administrators do much if it's the people behind the site who are operating these "fake" profiles?

If it becomes a larger issue or you dislike this then delete the app and find a new one.

I don’t think it’s reasonable to expect people to pay to read a message but I know that’s the way some of these programs work. They’re really quite smart even if predatory, preying on a need to find a partner or desire to find love. Most people are curious and that need is overwhelming and they earn money from that. You’ll have to decide how you wish to spend your cash. 

 

[Gaeta]

11 minutes ago, kleaners said:

For sure going to ignore it, but would messaging the administrators do much if it's the people behind the site who are operating these "fake" profiles?

Why would they invade their own dating site and have people annoyed so much they do not come back?

Look for a site that is better equiped to fight scammers.

POF about 25% of my messages were scammers. It's really bad.

Badoo where l am is decent, i'd rarely get message from scammers there. When you subscribe you have to lD yourself to them with a picture. Profiles with no pictures are not allowed.

Edited March 6, 2022 by Gaeta

[kleaners]

1 minute ago, Gaeta said:

Why would they invade their own dating profiles that has people annoyed so much they do not come back?

Look for a site that is better equiped to fight scammers.

POF about 25% of my messages wete scammers. It's really bad.

Badoo where l am is decent, i'd rarely get message from scammers there. When you subscribe you have to lD yourself to them with a picture.

Why wouldn't they? If you can make money on desperate people by having them pay for a subscription to read messages. Obviously they have to be somewhat suble about it and not barrage inboxes.

Cupid is terrible, so is Zoosk. I like Match because you can pay for a subscription, but if you Match with someone you can still exchange messages without a paid account. POF is okay, but I always get likes from people and then can never find their profile when I search for people within their age range and radius of where they live. Facebook has one through their app, which is okay, but certainly a lot of fake accounts or people claiming to live in one place but clearly not anywhere near what's listed.

 

[Wiseman2]

50 minutes ago, kleaners said:

I haven't added a description about myself and what I'm looking for, nor have I uploaded photos. Yet there's a message in my inbox from a user, but I can't read it unless I subscribe. 

It could  be a scammer. They'll message anything. Even what looks like a fake profile (no description, no what I'm looking for, nor uploaded photos).

There are plenty of free sites where you can communicate without subscribing. If you just wish to browse on this particular site, then don't pay.

However it would be best to have a profile that doesn't look fake or like a scammer with no info/pic if you want to date.

[kleaners]

1 minute ago, Wiseman2 said:

However it would be best to have a profile that doesn't look fake or like a scammer with no info/pic if you want to date.

Of course. I just hadn't gotten around to it, so I was surprised to already have a message.

[smackie9]

Like anything that's for free you have a lot to navigate through.

[Gaeta]

Why wouldn't they? If you can make money on desperate people by having them pay for a subscription to read messages. 

Sorry l don't beleive that. Of course it's a money making machine but l don't beleive in this big conspiracy that dating sites create their own scammers.

[kleaners]

2 minutes ago, Gaeta said:

Why wouldn't they? If you can make money on desperate people by having them pay for a subscription to read messages. 

Sorry l don't beleive that. Of course it's a money making machine but l don't beleive in this big conspiracy that dating sites create their own scammers.

Just a thought I had.

[max3732]

1 hour ago, Gaeta said:

Why wouldn't they? If you can make money on desperate people by having them pay for a subscription to read messages. 

Sorry l don't beleive that. Of course it's a money making machine but l don't beleive in this big conspiracy that dating sites create their own scammers.

One thing I don't get is why these dating sites allow people to message you but they won't tell you anything about who they are unless you pay. That's obviously a money making scheme. If someone fake sends you likes or messages you'll be tempted to pay to receive messages because it might be someone you're interested in.

[Gaeta]

19 minutes ago, max3732 said:

One thing I don't get is why these dating sites allow people to message you but they won't tell you anything about who they are unless you pay. 

Like in anything else you have good sites and not so good sites. I thought Elite Single would be a good place consedering their pub, l created a profile then realized l had to pay to read my messages. I then went online and read reviews on that dating sites. Reviews done by users. Most were disatisfied saying they had to pay at each step. I deleted my profile right away. 

I don't need to know why a dating app is bad, l don't care why they do this or that, l just don't use them. There are plenty others that are better administrated.

[kleaners]

26 minutes ago, max3732 said:

One thing I don't get is why these dating sites allow people to message you but they won't tell you anything about who they are unless you pay. That's obviously a money making scheme. If someone fake sends you likes or messages you'll be tempted to pay to receive messages because it might be someone you're interested in.

POF does that - will say "so and so is interested in you." You get the age, location, and screen name, but the photo is blurred and you can't get information about the person unless you have the time to scroll through hundreds of profiles to find it. I've found a few that way, but others I swear either don't exist or way out of my filter range. But I agree, some information would be useful to determine if I want to pay to contact the person.

[Wiseman2]

2 hours ago, kleaners said:

POF does that - will say "so and so is interested in you." You get the age, location, and screen name, but the photo is blurred and you can't get information about the person unless you have the time to scroll through hundreds of profiles to find it. I've found a few that way, but others I swear either don't exist or way out of my filter range. But I agree, some information would be useful to determine if I want to pay to contact the person.

What you can do is write an excellent profile, fill out whatever questionnaire, and post a few good recent pics.

You can either use completely free sites or try a trail or promo (free trial, discount, whatever) for a set brief time.

There's no point paying up for one message or one profile, whether its a scammer, come-on or whatever.

Obviously pay sites are proprietary and free sites use ads and other types of revenue.

If you pay for a set period then you'll have unlimited access to all messages/profiles, so that (or free sites) makes more sense.

The best approach is a good profile and pics and using the site to view whatever messages/profiles you wish, whether you pay for a brief period or use a free site.

While OLD should be in your dating portfolio, of course real-life socializing helps too.

 

Edited March 6, 2022 by Wiseman2

[Ami1uwant]

7 hours ago, kleaners said:

While I believe some dating sites have value, at the same time I think some of them are scams. I just signed up on a site and merely answered the basic questions to register. I haven't added a description about myself and what I'm looking for, nor have I uploaded photos. Yet there's a message in my inbox from a user, but I can't read it unless I subscribe. Unless this person is desperate to meet anyone with a pulse, it seems like a plant from the site to garner subscriptions. This to me is deceptive and the practice should stop. People use online dating sites for a reason. It's not cool to toy with people's emotions, getting their hopes up that someone might have a genuine interest.

Many online dating sites that are subscription base. Do…

 

1 use bots to get you to join

2 triggers false activity by non paying members by them just opening a company email without actually entering the site.

 

3. these have both legit users as well as fraud/ scammers such as those claiming they are from your area only to say later they are from Africa/ Europe and need money.  No matter what site you use, askatypical question that you can see the response. A typical questions don’t have canned copy and paste responses.

 

[Gaeta]

When l have a profile l always pay for 1 month when it's available even when l can message and receive messages for free. Monthly subs are between $23-$29 that's not even a dollar a day. If you're serious about finding someone you should be ready to invest into it. 

As a paying member l will be wary of men in there that don't have 30 bucks to get all options unlocked.

[kleaners]

3 minutes ago, Gaeta said:

When l have a profile l always pay for 1 month when it's available even when l can message and receive messages for free. Monthly subs are between $23-$29 that's not even a dollar a day. If you're serious about finding someone you should be ready to invest into it. 

As a paying member l will be wary of men in there that don't have 30 bucks to get all options unlocked.

I like to feel out a site before deciding to invest money into it.

[lana-banana]

Even legitimate dating websites, like Match and OKCupid, have essentially "bots" that are meant to message new users and keep them engaged. It's a scammy tactic all around, but it doesn't necessarily mean the platform is illegitimate.

[Trail Blazer]

I agree that there are some fake profiles planted on some websites by the websites themselves, however I have no actual proof - but I am sure it's a thing.  I've never personally experienced joining up to a dating site and having a message already waiting.

There are definitely fake profiles out there.  However, there are degrees of fake depending on the level of deception and nefarious intent you consider such profiles to harbor before they can be classified as this.

Is the obviously stock images of an international model, in a profile with very poor English, or blank, with the person showing an unusual level of interest in you fake?  Of course.  How fake?  Like full scammer type fake?  If they want you to migrate to WhatsApp - then that's the final clincher.

However, is the hot girl with her Insta handle attached to her profile fake?  No, probably not.  Especially if she's clearly from the jurisdiction from where you are searching.  Having said that, does that mean that her intentions for being on the dating app genuine?  Almost certainly not, either.

To a large extent, these dating sites can not be legislated to operate a certain way.  Many are based outside of the U.S. and as such, the only way to stop unscrupulous behavior would be from a full-scale blocking by a country.

My advice is to just roll with it, and get good at detecting fake profiles.  I used PoF a lot when I was single and went on many dates.   Never needed to pay a cent and met up with many local girls, some looking for relationships - some... just looking for transient engagements!

[salparadise]

10 hours ago, kleaners said:

but would messaging the administrators do much if it's the people behind the site who are operating these "fake" profiles?

Most sites, if not all, have a report button to make it easy to flag scammers. But the reality is that they spend more energy trying to convince you that they are serious about eliminating scammers than they do trying to eliminate them. If they wanted to they could. They can see the IP addresses that people log in from, and that identifies the location. It's easy to block whole ranges of IPs. I have no idea why they continue to allow West Africans to access the sites at all, or anyone using a VPS to disguise the location. 

Their only objective is to get people to pay the fee, and if a scammer is smooth enough to entice you to pay, then that scammer is good for business. 

I signed up for a smallish site a few years ago and noticed that I kept getting matches from two places in particular, one of which I knew because I had been through there on motorcycle rides. It's a tiny place in WV with signs on both sides of the post, and the entire population resides in two or three run-down old trailers. There sure as hell aren't any hotties in that place, much less dozens and dozens. I researched the other place and it was the same deal –– way out in the boonies, and a two-digit population. I contacted the site and got a live person to email, and I told them that every single profile from these two places are scammers, and how I knew. No response and the scammers are still using these locations. No response from the message detailing the situation.

They don't mind having scammers because they create site activity and engage people aren't savvy enough to know. Their objectives are perfectly aligned. At some point you have to ask, which is really the bigger scam?

 

[Alpacalia]

Why not read up on some reviews and ratings including user comments about different dating websites before joining? So you are able to get a 'feet' for the site without actually joining or worse, paying a subscription until you have learned more about it? 

 

[Gaeta]

For what it's worth, each time l reported a scammer by clicking the report button, and l always explain the behavior that has me report those, their profile disappeared pretty quickly.

[dramafreezone]

IMO if you're going to do online dating, you should be prepared to subscribe to sites with superb reputations in the OLD world.

You're potentially talking about a lifetime partner right?  I think that's well worth a premium monthly price, and there's a much lower chance (though not impossible) that you're going to run into scammers or fraudsters.

But you have to also come to the realization that dating whether online or not involves risk.

Edited March 7, 2022 by dramafreezone