Thoughts on this?

[NuevoYorko]

1 hour ago, salparadise said:

 

I agree with the minority on this. I feel that it was inappropriate given that she's now in a new relationship and knew her partner would surely see it.

 

From the perspective of one who has lost an ex - permanently, to death - the idea that one "ought to" put public grieving for the end of a life secondary to the possible insecurities of a fairly new bf/gf (5 months) is really hard to accommodate.    Insecurity and jealousy do not need to be pandered to.  Set-up for a very unhealthy relationship.  

 

 

[SumGuy]

On 2/26/2022 at 8:17 PM, Wanderlust2018 said:

Well, considering there was infidelity and drug use/abuse on his part, I suppose I wouldn’t be so celebratory. They broke up for a reason…ya know?

Generally is is very bad form to speak ill of the dead in most cultures unless what they did in life deserved death. 

Infidelity as bad as it is does not deserve death...this is exactly the kind of "let he who is without sin cast the first stone:"  Drug use/abuse often arise from other f'ed up things going on with the person...or sometimes just bad luck if got addicted to prescribed painkillers.

Of course we know they broke up for a reason, a reason so awful that wouldn't have some sympathy or grace for the good times?

[SumGuy]

On 2/26/2022 at 3:38 PM, Wanderlust2018 said:

.... I may be off base, but I feel pretty disrespected because of this. I’m not an overly sensitive person at all, but I just think it’s weird and I’d never in a million years do something like that if I was seeing someone. I get that we’re all different, but it just goes against what I feel is appropriate and not appropriate. Thoughts?

Thoughts are simple.  Her behavior is not just appropriate but common, proper and humane.  It is not weird at all, very much the opposite.

Feeling disrespected, why?    It is not like there is ever going to be a chance she will get back together with him.   You may not be an overly sensitive in general but this reaction is, for all the reasons that have gone before. 

If you disagree, if you think she is being weird then tell her and heck even mention his infidelity and drug use/abuse.

[SingFish]

On 2/26/2022 at 7:17 PM, Wanderlust2018 said:

Well, considering there was infidelity and drug use/abuse on his part, I suppose I wouldn’t be so celebratory. They broke up for a reason…ya know?

People tend to sanctify the dead. I'd ignore it, unless you think it's a sign of a deeper rift between you and gf.

[Lisa]

Thread has now been closed as the question has been thoroughly answered.   Thank you for your participation