Katheryn12 Posted February 26, 2022 Posted February 26, 2022 Plain and simple question...married for 18 years but my heart is not with him anymore...
Wiseman2 Posted February 26, 2022 Posted February 26, 2022 8 minutes ago, Katheryn12 said: How do you tell someone you want a divorce?...married for 18 years but my heart is not with him anymore... First speak to an attorney about your options and particulars regarding your situation, division of assets, children etc. Then see a qualified therapist to discuss your unhappiness and readiness for divorce. You don't tell someone you want a divorce in an open ended manner. Divorce is a legal contract that the courts need to dissolve so your first step is an attorney for info. Never threaten divorce to effect a change. Have everything lined up and drawn up and have your attorney send the papers, when you decide what you want. What is the reason for your unhappiness? Reflect on that and see if a therapist can guide you through your options and of course you'll need help adjusting to single life, going through divorce, etc.. 1
glows Posted February 26, 2022 Posted February 26, 2022 2 hours ago, Katheryn12 said: Plain and simple question...married for 18 years but my heart is not with him anymore... Speak with your lawyer (privately). He/she will advise you on the next steps. 1
Harry Korsnes Posted February 26, 2022 Posted February 26, 2022 Thats a though one there is no easy way, it tok me over a year. But i think she knew, bc of all the arguing. You just need to find the right time and try to take it calm as you can Best of luck
FMW Posted February 27, 2022 Posted February 27, 2022 There is no easy way, you just have to say the words and be unequivocal about it. For me, it was the most difficult thing I've ever had to say, even though I had no doubt it was the right thing to do. Although I had had a conversation with him previously about our issues, he still claimed to be blindsided and was difficult to deal with for some time. Choose a time when you're alone and things are calm, not during the middle of an argument for example. Be prepared for any reaction. Stay strong, remember why you want the marriage to end.
stillafool Posted February 27, 2022 Posted February 27, 2022 Yeah I agree it's not an easy thing to do so you just have to rip the band-aide off and tell them. You never know he may agree with you. I also agree to talk to your attorney first to get your ducks in a row, unless you don't have shared property and kids. 1
vla1120 Posted February 27, 2022 Posted February 27, 2022 20 hours ago, Katheryn12 said: Plain and simple question...married for 18 years but my heart is not with him anymore... You could just tell him you want a divorce, but have you tried marriage counseling? Are the issues unresolvable? Sometimes when we are stressed and/or unhappy, we might think it's the marriage, but nothing is resolved by the divorce. At least seek counseling for yourself to figure out why you're contemplating divorce, especially if you have children who will be adversely affected by staying in a bad marriage - or by a divorce.
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