smackie9 Posted February 22, 2022 Posted February 22, 2022 (edited) 14 hours ago, running4life said: As a girl, " then, suggest that you would like to take hum out for lunch or do a picnic." Doesn't that sound weird a girl asking a guy out? Never done that before. Always had the guys ask for lunch or dinner. I'm 58 female....when I was dating I had np asking guys out on dates, so that was like almost 40 years ago. They all said yes, and nothing bad ever happened. It was all positive. It's not the 1950's, it's a modern age, by now women have earned the right to be confident and independent. He hasn't made a move for whatever reason, so why not take a crack at it yourself and see? Edited February 22, 2022 by smackie9 1
dramafreezone Posted February 22, 2022 Posted February 22, 2022 (edited) On 2/20/2022 at 12:30 PM, running4life said: Currently single. I've dated and had sex with different guys who were not a fit. There is one who captivated me. He friend zoned me almost 10 years ago.As of now, we remain friends and hang out. I Only kissed him on the cheek . Never had sex together. We both have similar interests and enjoy spending time together. I believe he's single which is a surprise considering how successful and handsome he is. His mom knows I like him and advised I should be patient. She explained that he's probably considerate of dating due to having to grow up fast as a child. His father was incarcerated for a while and he helped raise his siblings. Also, he dated and loved a girl throughout high school who he intended to marry. The girl left him for his friend. It's difficult since i get along well and spend time with him and his family. Sometimes, hiking and skiing together. This guy, he deserves to be loved and with someone that cares about him. If we are not ment to be together as a couple, how do you overcome this ? I try and spend time with other people and do fun things, but, he still comes to mind. Certain Music we'd listen to , dancing, fun events we've gone to together. I enjoy spending time laughing and talking with him. He's a pleasure. He has many faults, as does everyone. However, he's a phenomenal guy. I enjoy the friendship, but, are there any other pieces of advice? Be patient, continuing to see other people, keep being busy? Thank you for the feedback. May be tough to hear but you can't make someone fall in love with you. At the very least the timing is not right so you have no choice but to move on. Keep your distance not because you don't like him but because you being in his presence is only going to fuel this flame. No amount of you liking him is going to change anything, and begin to realize that you deserve someone that likes you back. Good luck. Edited February 22, 2022 by dramafreezone 1
mark clemson Posted February 22, 2022 Posted February 22, 2022 On 2/20/2022 at 12:30 PM, running4life said: This guy, he deserves to be loved and with someone that cares about him. He may indeed "deserve" it, but if he doesn't want that with you, it really doesn't matter for you. It sounds like you've been an orbiter for this guy for 10 years. Is it possible your desire for a connection/relationship with him prevented you from bonding with others? (Not something you need to answer, just something for you to consider.) I think you should very strongly consider committing to breaking out of this orbiter pattern so that you can fully bond with someone who's emotionally available to you. This might include pushing him away a bit if he "interferes" with any new relationships, as the orbiting is something you both may have gotten quite used to at this point, and he may actually react if something (such as a new BF) threatens it. You yourself might unconsciously sabotage new relationships as well for similar reasons, if you aren't committed to being done with him. One can't always get what one wants in life, unfortunately. 1
stillafool Posted February 23, 2022 Posted February 23, 2022 (edited) On 2/20/2022 at 3:30 PM, running4life said: His mom knows I like him and advised I should be patient. Trust me if you've let his mom know you like him and she told you to be patient; she has told him how you feel. She has probably already asked him to take you out. Edited February 23, 2022 by stillafool
aloneagain63 Posted February 23, 2022 Posted February 23, 2022 ok, you are making this too complicated. He's a guy. Guys are dumb. If he is like me(he obviously isn't because he's handsome and can salsa), it could be that he thinks he is the last guy that you would want a relationship with. DONT HINT! Guys can't read hints. It has to be a knock him upside his head type of hint. Otherwise we will totally miss the hint or convince ourselves that naw, she didn't mean that. You probably shouldn't just blurt out LETS GET NEKKID, but you could yell ARE YOU READY TO Rumble! Myself included, I have heard so many guys talk about girls that they used to yearn for, never felt they had a chance, later come up and ask the guy Why did you never try to date me!!!!!!!! For me, they only did it when I was married and wouldn't cheat. They are all in hiding now that I'm single. And old. And uggy. And all that other stuff that happens once you pass 30 Ma'am, I sure wish you lived near me. I'd love to learn to salsa dance. I can do a pretty mean swing and Red Neck 3 step lol Good Luck with Mr Handsome Salsa Dancer
Wiseman2 Posted February 24, 2022 Posted February 24, 2022 8 hours ago, aloneagain63 said: you could yell ARE YOU READY TO Rumble After 10 Years of being in the friendzone, not even this would work. Don't throw yourself at him. He's not interested. And worse, you'll ruin a 10 year friendship by making things awkward.
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