mortensorchid Posted February 19, 2022 Posted February 19, 2022 I reached out, I had known him for many uears here and there. I asked him if he had a gf and he said no, I then asked if he would consider me. He asked what are you looking for? I said same as everyone else. He said you mist know what you want / need. And I am not interested in you. Take care. Nobody wants me.
Weezy1973 Posted February 19, 2022 Posted February 19, 2022 6 minutes ago, mortensorchid said: I reached out, I had known him for many uears here and there. I asked him if he had a gf and he said no, I then asked if he would consider me. He asked what are you looking for? I said same as everyone else. He said you mist know what you want / need. And I am not interested in you. Take care. Nobody wants me. One person is not everybody. 7
Wiseman2 Posted February 19, 2022 Posted February 19, 2022 4 hours ago, mortensorchid said: I reached out, I had known him for many uears here and there. I asked him if he had a gf and he said no, I then asked if he would consider me. Why use this odd approach? Date men from quality dating apps who are interested. 1
balletomane Posted February 19, 2022 Posted February 19, 2022 MO, in almost every post I see from you, you sabotage yourself. If a man approached you with, "Have you got a boyfriend? Would you consider me?" you'd be on here posting something like, "A weird desperate loser asked me out today. Next." When a man is interested in you, you're hypercritical and fixated on his flaws. And when you're interested in a man, you approach the situation in such a way that you surely know is going to lead to rejection - you decide to play impossibly hard to get, or you act as you've just done here and blindside the guy. Self-sabotage is the only way I can explain it. 18
Alpacalia Posted February 19, 2022 Posted February 19, 2022 9 hours ago, mortensorchid said: I reached out, I had known him for many uears here and there. I asked him if he had a gf and he said no, I then asked if he would consider me. He asked what are you looking for? I said same as everyone else. He said you mist know what you want / need. And I am not interested in you. Take care. Nobody wants me. That sucks. You asked the guy if what, he would consider you as dating material, but you couldn't explain what you're looking for? He appears to be the type of person who takes care of himself, communicates well, and does not have time for anyone who is uncertain about themselves. Don't worry if some men dislike you. Continue on with your life. There will be one soul supporting, guiding, motivating, and loving you. Accept yourself. Take care of yourself to the best of your abilities. Have a high regard for yourself. Because when people do not like you, at least you do
Uruktopi Posted February 19, 2022 Posted February 19, 2022 (edited) Most of us, humans, had been rejected once, sometimes, even frequently. What does this say about us? That we are not good enough? Not really. Let´s formulate it better. For WHOM are we choice matterial or not? When we look it that way we begin to learn to choose better ourselves. You surely are the best for someone to still become known. Edited February 19, 2022 by Uruktopi 5
Els Posted February 19, 2022 Posted February 19, 2022 And you don't think it'd be weird AT ALL if a male friend of yours did that...? 7
glows Posted February 19, 2022 Posted February 19, 2022 12 hours ago, mortensorchid said: I reached out, I had known him for many uears here and there. I asked him if he had a gf and he said no, I then asked if he would consider me. He asked what are you looking for? I said same as everyone else. He said you mist know what you want / need. And I am not interested in you. Take care. Nobody wants me. I’m not sure if you’re joking or if this was a prank. It sounds like one or something to poke some fun. Anyway, I’m sure there’s more context to this. I’d leave it alone and enjoy the day.
Pumpernickel Posted February 19, 2022 Posted February 19, 2022 Sorry this happened MO, but the way you approached this was not ideal. And I’m sure you know this. I’m a pretty straightforward, direct person, but this approach was way over the top direct. Even for my standards. Sounds like you acted way too impulsively, asking him if he’d consider you. If that happened to me (a guy approaching me in that manner, using that particular wording), I would be inclined to believe that he was inebriated, and I wouldn’t continue the convo, either. So don’t take it personally, just know that the way you rekindled that old friendship or whatever it was, was not great. You’re still a great person, I’m sure, but you could’ve handled that one better. 2
Alvi Posted February 19, 2022 Posted February 19, 2022 First, I want to say, good for you for putting yourself out there. Being chronically single and hunting for that "one" is very difficult, if not impossible for many of us. You took a chance and although it didn't work out, good for you anyway. That takes a lot of guts and courage. Don't feel bad for being rejected, it happens to all of us. I have to say that your approach was very direct. Straight to the point direct. It's sort of like you skipped points A, B and C and went right to the point D (or maybe straight to the point Z). I believe this guy could've let you down nicer, but he was probably taken aback and shocked when you asked to be his girlfriend. From what you've wrote, this guy is an acquaintance, you don't know much about him. You could've chatted with him for a bit just to see what he was all about and to feel his energy and to see how he feels about you first. And aske him to help you with whatever or to have a cup of coffee. There is no guarantee that the end result would be any different or that he would like you that way but maybe once he got to know you a bit more, who knows, maybe he would actually change his mind about you.
Alpacalia Posted February 19, 2022 Posted February 19, 2022 2 hours ago, Uruktopi said: Most of us, humans, had been rejected once, sometimes, even frequently. What does this say about us? That we are not good enough? Not really. Let´s formulate it better. For WHOM are we choice matterial or not? When we look it that way we begin to learn to choose better ourselves. You surely are the best for someone to still become known. That's a really great way to look at it Uruktopi! 1
Gaeta Posted February 19, 2022 Posted February 19, 2022 13 hours ago, mortensorchid said: I reached out, I had known him for many uears here and there. I asked him if he had a gf and he said no, I then asked if he would consider me. He asked what are you looking for? I said same as everyone else. He said you mist know what you want / need. And I am not interested in you. Take care. Nobody wants me. You knew you would get a rejection. People that have a very low opinion of themselves will purposely seek rejection just to confirm to themselves they're not lovable. I'm sorry MO, you really need to find happiness for yourself first. 5 1
SingFish Posted February 19, 2022 Posted February 19, 2022 If he is that blunt and rude then you are better off without him @mortensorchid I would not take it as evidence no one wants you. 'No one wants me and no one loves me' are the things I tell myself if I'm depressed. Are you depressed? I'm starting a 21 day Louise Hay love your inner child type project called 'Mirror Work' soon. I am so traumatized by some of the things in the past few years and the pandemic was the last straw. Hoping it will get me back in a good place for relationships, including enjoying being alone, I really have dealt with some cr*ppy behavior, it's worn me out and made me avoidant!
Uruktopi Posted February 19, 2022 Posted February 19, 2022 3 hours ago, Alpaca said: That's a really great way to look at it Uruktopi! Thank you! 1
ShyViolet Posted February 20, 2022 Posted February 20, 2022 Sorry but the way you approached him was a bit strange. It was almost setting yourself up for rejection. Next time if you're interested in someone, maybe ask, "Would you like to meet up for lunch/coffee sometime?" 2
dramafreezone Posted February 20, 2022 Posted February 20, 2022 On 2/18/2022 at 8:00 PM, mortensorchid said: I reached out, I had known him for many uears here and there. I asked him if he had a gf and he said no, I then asked if he would consider me. He asked what are you looking for? I said same as everyone else. He said you mist know what you want / need. And I am not interested in you. Take care. Why not just say something like I just want to go out and have a good time? Why are you going straight to the GF talk? There's a lot of things that have to happen to get there and if you haven't even been out on a date you're nowhere near GF, so don't worry about it.
running4life Posted February 20, 2022 Posted February 20, 2022 Been there and it sucks!!! Be friends. He might see how amazing you are while being a friend. Basic conversations, humor, be normal around him and live your life. Keep busy. Doing so he might catch feelings. Don't force it.
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