Tinasky200 Posted February 17, 2022 Posted February 17, 2022 Hey everyone so I’m 21 and my partner is 33 nearly 34. He is quite touchy and it’s something I struggle with a lot he’s also quite jealous. For valentines this year I got him presents but I also ordered him some cookies however they were delayed and are arriving today. This morning he goes ‘ I can’t wait for Millie’s cookies’ and I said in a jokey way ‘oh how did you guess’ and started laughing. I then said ‘ I got you a selection brownie and kinder are a couple amongst the few’. he paused and stared at me quiet but his bottom lip shaking and said in a moody voice ‘ Why would you tell me the surprise!’ ‘Why would you spoil the surprise how could you do this to me , to us’ At first I laughed thinking he was joking and said to him you’re kidding right ? Genuinely not believing he could be annoyed at this. and he starts raising his voice saying ‘ no! How could you spoil MY SUPRISE you ALWAYS do this!’ I just turned away from him and got upset . I’m sick of feeling like I’m going crazy like I’m doing something wrong every 5 minutes. I was upset and he pulled my arm and said ‘why are you the one crying you’re the one that ruined my suprise’ Am I being unreasonable ? Please help :(
Wiseman2 Posted February 17, 2022 Posted February 17, 2022 28 minutes ago, Tinasky200 said: Hey everyone so I’m 21 and my partner is 33 . I’m sick of feeling like I’m going crazy like I’m doing something wrong every 5 minutes. I was upset and he pulled my arm and said ‘why are you the one crying you’re the one that ruined my suprise’ How long have you been dating? You're in an abusive relationship. Do you work? Go to school? Live with your parents? Tell trusted friends and family about the mental and physical abuse. Ask for assistance leaving this situation. Read up on "abusive relationships". Tell him you're not compatible, end it then delete and block him and all his people from ALL your social media and messaging apps. 2
glows Posted February 17, 2022 Posted February 17, 2022 I can understand disappointment but repeating himself like a broken record isn’t going to rectify the situation. If anything he sounds like a spoiled brat or I’d wonder if he has developmental issues. You did also mention that he raises his voice. That’s not something I’d tolerate. Are there other instances where he acts out like a child? 2
FMW Posted February 17, 2022 Posted February 17, 2022 He sounds emotionally unstable. If you are regularly dealing with this type of thing from him, I would seriously consider ending the relationship. 2
SumGuy Posted February 17, 2022 Posted February 17, 2022 9 hours ago, Wiseman2 said: How long have you been dating? You're in an abusive relationship. Do you work? Go to school? Live with your parents? Tell trusted friends and family about the mental and physical abuse. Ask for assistance leaving this situation. Read up on "abusive relationships". Tell him you're not compatible, end it then delete and block him and all his people from ALL your social media and messaging apps. This. Also (1) you are the reasonable one here, and (2) you did surprise him as he didn't know. 1
Timshel Posted February 17, 2022 Posted February 17, 2022 1 hour ago, SumGuy said: This. Also (1) you are the reasonable one here, and (2) you did surprise him as he didn't know. Choose a lane. Run as far and fast as you can Tinasky, this guy is abusive. 3
PotatoHead Posted February 17, 2022 Posted February 17, 2022 An appropriate response in this scenario would be being thankful and appreciative of the gift, whether it was revealed in advance or not. It shouldn't even be about the gift itself, much less about the surprise, but just the thought should be appreciated. This is a high level of crazy. 3
aloneagain63 Posted February 23, 2022 Posted February 23, 2022 I'd say end this as quickly as possible. A little jealousy is good for a relationship. It reminds you to keep working on the relationship. No jealousy leads to a rut, taking things for granted. More than just a little jealousy usually leads to misery. And then the reaction the cookies. Run
ShyViolet Posted February 24, 2022 Posted February 24, 2022 This guy sounds crazy. The smart thing to do would be to end this relationship immediately. You don't stay with someone who yells at you like that, period.
smackie9 Posted February 24, 2022 Posted February 24, 2022 Oh no you don't put up with that crap. He's mentally unstable, and it's not safe for you to be with him anymore....run away as fast as you can and don't tell him you are walking away or he will be clinging onto your leg to stop you.
BaileyB Posted February 26, 2022 Posted February 26, 2022 (edited) I agree, this man is abusive and I would end this now. ETA. If he gets this upset about something as insignificant as a “ruined” surprise, imagine what life will be like when you begin to deal with the really difficult issues in life and the really challenging aspects of a relationship. This is a window to the future - if you don’t like what you see, you need to leave. Edited February 26, 2022 by BaileyB 1
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