confusedguy2498 Posted February 13, 2022 Posted February 13, 2022 (edited) Hey guys! I really need some advice because I'm completely confused. I met this girl online two months ago. I'm 24 and she's 20. She's very very shy, introverted and she suffers from social anxiety. I really liked her humor, fashion sense and overall personality since day one. One day I decided to ask her out and that first date went okay, not utterly amazing but not a disaster either. We kept texting and two weeks later I asked her out again. The second date was much better, we had a lot of fun and I started to like her even more. Two more weeks and I asked her out for a third date and everything was going well. Although I noticed she was kinda nervous and quiet (I supposed that it was because we were in a very crowded place, which didn't help with her social anxiety) she gave me a present and a cake because my birthday was a few days prior to our date. She also mentioned that her mother told her to ask me to come to their house some day (could that be a subtle way of asking me to her house?). Anyway, that night after the date I texted her to thank her for all of the cute gestures. That was a week ago and she hasn't texted me back since. I texted her again two days ago because I started to worry that something bad could've happened and again nothing. Now I'm really confused, why would she cut me off all of a sudden? It has to do with her introverted personality? Did I do or say something wrong? I understand some people can be very busy and overwhelmed with school but for a whole week including the weekend? I will appreciate your answers, thank you! Edited February 13, 2022 by confusedguy2498
Wiseman2 Posted February 13, 2022 Posted February 13, 2022 8 minutes ago, confusedguy2498 said: Hey guys! I really need some advice because I'm completely confused. I met this girl online two months ago. Sorry this happened. 3 dates in 2 months is not a lot. You're not exclusive so may both still be talking to and meeting others. She seemed into you, so you never know what goes on on someone's life, especially when you barely know them. 1
Gaeta Posted February 13, 2022 Posted February 13, 2022 May l ask why always 2 weeks between dates? 1
Author confusedguy2498 Posted February 13, 2022 Author Posted February 13, 2022 23 minutes ago, Gaeta said: May l ask why always 2 weeks between dates? Honestly I don't know, it just happened that way. Obviously I would like to see her more often but I also want to respect her personal time and her social anxiety issue.
Author confusedguy2498 Posted February 13, 2022 Author Posted February 13, 2022 1 hour ago, Wiseman2 said: Sorry this happened. 3 dates in 2 months is not a lot. You're not exclusive so may both still be talking to and meeting others. She seemed into you, so you never know what goes on on someone's life, especially when you barely know them. Thanks for your answer 1
ExpatInItaly Posted February 14, 2022 Posted February 14, 2022 10 hours ago, confusedguy2498 said: Now I'm really confused, why would she cut me off all of a sudden? It has to do with her introverted personality? Did I do or say something wrong? I understand some people can be very busy and overwhelmed with school but for a whole week including the weekend? We can't begin to speculate with much accuracy, OP. It could be any of the above. Or it could be that an ex has reappeared or she's met someone else. It is disappointing, but there is not much you can do but dust yourself off and explore other options.
BreakOnThrough Posted February 14, 2022 Posted February 14, 2022 She knows how to contact you if need be, put her out of your mind and don't worry about her at all "wondering", move on for now.
ShyViolet Posted February 14, 2022 Posted February 14, 2022 You're young, and maybe you haven't dated a lot. But stuff like this happens ALL the time in dating, unfortunately. When someone stops replying it means they are no longer interested. We have no idea what exactly happened, maybe she just decided that she's not that into you. Maybe she met someone else who she liked better. Maybe she decided that she's not ready to date. You will probably never know the exact reason. Don't waste too much time and energy over-analyzing this. When this happens just shake it off and move on. 1
dramafreezone Posted February 14, 2022 Posted February 14, 2022 21 hours ago, confusedguy2498 said: Honestly I don't know, it just happened that way. Obviously I would like to see her more often but I also want to respect her personal time and her social anxiety issue. But you're not a mental health professional. How did you come to the conclusion of this arbitrary time in between dates? If she's going out with you and communicating with you, chances are she wants to see you. Think of one perspective from her end, you're not trying to go out with her as much so she could take that as you're not that interested in her. It's great that you're being considerate but there's such a thing as being too deferential. Don't overthink these things in the future. If she's communicating with you and you're going out there's a good chance that she wants to continue seeing you. I said this in another thread, you could drive yourself mad wondering why someone drops off the grid. Ultimately though you can't do anything about it. She has your number so only thing to do is go about your life and if she comes back around, she comes back around. Don't be afraid to ask her out more frequently, she an adult and doesn't need to be coddled. 1
FMW Posted February 14, 2022 Posted February 14, 2022 Her social anxiety may just be about being in crowded spaces. She may be fine one on one or in a small group of people she knows. I wouldn't put much weight on that being the issue. If a guy only asked me out every few weeks, I wouldn't think he was very interested. She may have met someone else during all the space in between dates who is showing more interest and pursuing her. At this point I don't think there's much else to be done that would change things. It's up to her to respond to your last message.
aloneagain63 Posted February 18, 2022 Posted February 18, 2022 Other than the length of time between dates, the only thing that might have made her step back and rethink depends on what your answer was to the invite to meet her mom. Mom might have quite a bit of control in her life and they have decided that 3 dates, its time that mom has a chance to check you out before it goes any farther. Does she do any social media? If so, I'd take a look and make sure that she is ok. Maybe, if you are ok with it, zip one more text and wish her Happy Maple Syrup Day or something.That would let her know that you aren't pouting and then it is up to her whether to contact you
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