Should I stay or should I go, input needed urgently, look at both sides of the story

[lostinparadise]

The Adventure that turned into my nightmare.

 

What will follow is an account by my girlfriend and then my view of what happened. Thank you if you take the time to read it. I am looking for advice, what I should do, and what the outlook is for my relationship. Try if you can to be objective, I hope to receive answers from all perspectives, and I hope some advice is objective. I am aware that the guys may come at it from a brotherly point of view and the ladies from a sisterly point of view, I understand.

 

My girlfriends view of the evening

 

We had arranged to go out for dinner to a new Japanese restaurant in 5 star hotel, , an area of our city we haven't really explored together, I was a bit surprised you had suggested somewhere new as you are a true creature of habit and prefer to go to places you have tried and tested. I was looking forward to it all day long, no in fact all week long. It was time we would be alone, away from the eyes of prying children and were we could truly be ourselves, not a parent or a mentor or a boss, just ourselves.

 

When I arrived at the restaurant I was a little bit self-conscious as I always am but when I walked in I saw you were already standing there by the reception and my nerves eased little. The menu was extensive but I left the choice of ordering up to you as I always do. I think you like that. So do I as I love to explore new things and you never disappoint. You asked me if I wanted to order a drink. I really wanted to order champagne but when I checked the price of it was just too expensive so I went for a cocktail instead which was far more reasonably priced. It was lovely, a little bit sour and lemony, just the way I like it.

 

The food arrived and was insanely good. Each dish tasted really magical and I savored each bite with you. I told you about my day and you told me about yours. I told you about the beautiful necklace I picked out from Van Cleef I was really worried about the price. I spent ages choosing it. I had seen three things I loved but the prices were so ridiculous I couldn’t ask you for them. I talked about my terrible experience with the rude lady in LV. We had a wonderful meal it was magical talking to you, time flying, drinks flowing, all perfect. I was so in love. Time with you it was always magical like in a fairytale. We moved to a sofa in the middle of the restaurant because we don’t like to be so far apart from each other and I love to snuggle into you. Your touch always made me feel safe. You touched my heart by giving me the last bite of your steak sandwich which I then promptly shared with you. You love dessert and ate an awful tasting sweet potato Japanese cheesecake, clearly it’s an acquired taste. You then paid the bill as you always do and we went for a tour of the Sake collection some of which cost eye watering figures.

 

So we then decided to go to the Rooftop Bar at The Four. I think we both knew we would end up there. We arrived after a wrong turn, endless traffic and a little uphill walk. You insulted the driver in the car and he could hear. I felt a little sorry for him but he did not react. When we arrived we were lectured at the door by the haughty waitress about the ‘minimum spend’ but were then promptly admitted and received a warm welcome inside.

 

We were both a little drunk and I think went there with the intention of possibly being a bit naughty having enjoyed ‘people watching’ the weekend before. We're both a little bit edgy at times so it felt right. After a few drinks I spotted an attractive girl who looked nice and I started making eye contact with her. She was shy but I wasn't and I kept meeting her eyes. I beckoned her over but she was apprehensive so I asked the barman to send her a drink. She seemed a little surprised by this but when the barman pointed at us and said the drink had come from us she beckoned me over to her. I led the way and introduced myself. She was called Ekatarina, 31 but looked a bit older, sophisticated, well dressed and polite. I felt comfortable with her. You followed with my bag seemingly a little perplexed by the situation but I suspect pleased at the naughtiness of it all.

 

I knew she was an escort and she knew I knew. I'm sat one side of her and you the other side, I was immersed in the music so I was happy to dance leaving you two to chat. She kept leaning over to reassure me saying ‘don't be jealous sweetie we're just talking about you and family’. I said ‘I'm not jealous I'm just enjoying the music and I like to dance’. I wasn't jealous at all. I felt comfortable watching you show her pictures of your house and talking about fishing, Ekatarina politely listening and nodding attentively. I was immersed in the music and enjoying a new found love of shisha which had never really tried before. I knew that I was a bit drunk by the way that I was engaging in eye contact with an Indian guy on another table. He kept smiling shyly and looked away. I loved the way that made me feel.

 

You came over and gently asked me if I wanted Ekatarina to come home with us. I smiled and nodded my head and said yes. Shortly afterwards we left. I was a little too drunk as I've been dieting and it always happens when I diet then drink. You held my arm as we left. I was a little embarrassed but chose to ignore it.

 

Ekatarina and I sat in the back of the taxi and I asked her about her life. We were holding hands and she had long manicured nails, which on reflection where a little unattractive. She said she was divorced and that she did this job to pay the bills. She was polite and genuine. I liked her.

 

We arrived home we went to the guest room where we promptly demanded more wine which of course we did not drink. She told me she was inexperienced with women and I said it was fine. Sophie was lovely and I enjoyed kissing her. I went down on her and I enjoyed tasting her. You came over and asked if I was happy and I said yes I was but please do not f*** her. You said ‘of course not baby’. I trusted you.

 

The night moved on in a partial blur. Ekatarina had a beautiful body, natural and tanned. She also had hair extensions but everything else seems to be perfectly natural.

 

You asked if you could if you should take a pill looking for reassurance and I said yes. Ekatarina was nice about it too. Ekatarina and I chatted and kissed. She told me she'd been asked by an English guy to arrange a show. Would I be interested she asked? The guy wanted genuine bisexual regular girls. It paid well she said. I laughed and said I didn't need the money but it sounded interesting and why not let me have details anyway.

 

You came back and the next thing I know you and Ekatarina kissing and she was on top of you. I didn’t mind this too much but then things started to get a bit more heated between the two of you and she asked for a condom. I had some in my bag as I had missed a pill that week and who knew where the night might lead, its best to be prepared after all. You objected to the condom but Ekatarina insisted and you gave in.

 

At that point it became clear you wanted her to f*** you. I started to get dressed. Ekatarina noticed and she asked me where I was going. I said I was going home I looked at you in the eye. I was not happy. You looked at me and then looked at her and said “let her go home”. Ekatarina made a movement to climb off you but you firmly onto her hands and singled her to stay. She turned around, her back to me and began riding you. I felt sick. Worthless, dis-guarded and sold for less than the price of dinner. I said ‘ok I will go’. I got up off the floor and stumbled to the door unlocking it to leave. I didn’t want you to see me crying like this.

 

I called a cab and sat down on the pavement to wait for the driver to arrive. I climbed in, barely dressed and began to cry. The taxi driver was concerned asking me repeatedly ‘are you ok maam, are you ok maam, has someone hurt you? Should I take you somewhere maam?” He was so kind. I said no I was ok but continued to cry the remainder of the journey. I was crying not because you had wanted to have sex with her but because you had so cruelly disregarded my feelings and had let me leave like that. I was crying in a taxi whilst you were f***ing her. You had made a choice. I knew it was over. I have cried like that once before, when I knew it was over with Cesare. It is just a realisation that hits you and its overwhelming and raw.

 

I reached home and sat on my sofa. Time passed slowly. I was very upset knowing you were f***ing her at that very moment. I wondered if you talked dirty with her like you did with me. I wondered if you came inside her, whether you wore a condom at all. I knew I could not be with you anymore. Had I meant anything to you I wondered or was it all just a game for you and I was one of many. I was devastated. Simba sat with me and looked at me wide eyed and concerned cuddling up to me. She messaged, it was kind of her on reflection. She was a nice girl, she asked me to understand that men are often like this. I felt sick.

 

You called me. I was very upset, you said let’s speak in the morning. I didn’t want to speak to you again so I blocked you. I cried all night, haunted by the image of her turning around and f***ing you after you asked me to leave. I knew I was worth more that this and I could never go back to you. I knew each time you slept with me I would see the image of her riding you, just like I used to see Ali hitting me when he f***ed me. I would open my legs and think ‘you f***ing hit me, I hate you’. I knew it would be similar, ‘you chose her and I resent you’. I would distance myself from you and build walls around myself. I would never be able to give myself to you. That’s what I knew and still know. I’m sorry. I love you but I won’t be able to move on from this.

 

I am devastated and I want to see you. If you had just asked me I would have agreed. It would have been fun. But in that moment you didn’t care about me. I could never be truly safe with you or trust you. I would always doubt you. Painfully sad but true and I must realise that, I must have self-respect and walk away. Maybe in time we can be friends.

 

 

My version of the events, (male),

What better way to start the weekend than to book a fine restaurant in our safe and prosperous city? A new Japanese restaurant has opened at a 5 star hotel in town, and it has a growing reputation. Two fine Japanese chefs, one focused on Sushi and the other focused on wagyu. When I heard about it, I knew we had to try it. The restaurant was recommended by the head waiter at another fine eatery.

 

We were excited to be going out, Karen (not her real name) and me. Our time together is always special and tonight it would be no different, or so we both thought. Little did we know the outcome of this night on the town. It would turn into a nightmare.

 

In the back of the car, I had two white boxes, they contained several dresses I had ordered for Karen, I was quite sure they would look lovely on her. There were five dresses on total, and I had paid over $2k for them. She picked them out from her favorite brand, and I ordered them. I planned on giving her the dresses after dinner when I dropped her home. Maybe I would get lucky and have a private fashion show.

 

I arrived early, the table was booked for 7.30 pm, I was there at 7.15 pm, it always feels good to arrive early, to everything. The table was booked outside in the lounge area. They had 2 types of seating, counter, and lounge. I chatted to the receptionist about which was more popular and what the difference was. As we chatted Karen appeared, it was lovely to see her, every time I see her my heartbeat increases, she smiled, her beautiful smile and we hugged. It was going to be another special evening with her. We have been dating for 9 months, both of us are divorced, with kids. I have 3 she has 2, and they play well together.

 

The receptionist gave us the option to sit at the counter or go out to the lounge, the lounge was outdoors situated on a balcony overlooking the pool, which was lit up and inviting. The night was a little chilly and they had gas heaters which produce a tall flame, it all added to the comfortable atmosphere. The chairs were modern in style, and very laid back. We sat opposite each other. The décor was modern, the balcony lounge was busy, and it all felt good.

 

After sitting down, we were greeted by our waitress, a friendly individual who was very welcoming. The menus were distributed and the first thing I noticed was the limited offer and the price of each item. The pricing was above the average fine dining prices in town, but that was not an issue, we were here to have a lovely time and I was hoping not to be disappointed. The waitress asked if we had any food allergies, and as always, my only allergy was towards bad food. She laughed; this line works every time. We have come to enjoy Sake, the Japanese wine, and the sommelier recommended a semi premium variety. We tried it and it was very smooth. We eventually consumed 3 bottles of this fine beverage. There were bottles for over $10k on the menu. We were told they were good sellers, how people spend their easily found cash.

 

I ordered the starters, we had a dish titled Tuna Paradise, this was essentially tuna sashimi over a bed of rice served in a bowl. To say it was outstanding would be an understatement. The second dish we had was a mix of wasabi, caviar, salmon roe, rice, and sea urchin. Again, the flavor combination was refined. The third dish as part of the starters, was a small bowl of miso soup. After we enjoyed the appetizers and as we drank more, we chatted, we smiled, we laughed, and we were happy.

 

Karen had brought me a little gift, and as always it was very thoughtful. It was a small portable speaker for the outdoors. I had taken her out fishing a day earlier and told her my old speaker was on its last legs and that the kids had promised me a new speaker for Christmas. Apparently, it was out of stock, and they told me once it was back in stock, they would purchase it for me. I think they may have forgotten about it as it’s the end of January and the item is back in stock on Amazon.

 

After we finished our starters, Karen told me she would like to sit next to me so we could be closer. A table was no longer occupied across from us, the waiter pretended to check if it was booked for a second seating, he came back and agreed for us to move. We were now on a double sofa and were able to sit comfortably together and hold hands. Another special moment.

 

The menu was handed back to me to order the main course. Our second course was to be a wagyu dish or a couple of dishes. Sando is a Japanese sandwich composed of bread, wagyu steak and a secret sauce. We had not had this dish before, so I ordered it. I also ordered a wagyu rice stew. Both were exceptional and very rich. For dessert we had a potato cheesecake. This sounded like a contradictory combination, but it was an agreeable taste. Karen did not enjoy it, so I finished the dish.

 

After dinner, I paid the bill, which came to over $1.5k, and we walked through the restaurant. At the entrance they had a wine chiller, and we were given a tour of the sake collection. The most expensive bottle was priced at $15k, and as of our visit they had not sold a bottle. The restaurant has only been open for a month. Time will tell how many will sell.

 

The first stage of our lovely evening was over, we drove downtown towards the Four Season’s Hotel, me and Karen in the back of the car and the driver at the wheel. We were off in search of adventure during the midnight hour. The roads were busy, everyone was out to enjoy the start of the weekend. The driver dropped us off by the curbside and we walked up to the hotel.

 

There is a rooftop bar which is a lovely setting for an evening drink, loud music, and interesting views, both of people and the skyline. We were told by the receptionist that there was a minimum spend, we acknowledged this fact, and we were given a comfortably situated table. I ordered a Negroni and Karen ordered a passion fruit martini. Both drinks were well mixed.

 

The music was loud, Karen was in a good mood and gyrating on her chair to the music. I ordered a pack of cigarettes and we both had a smoke. We both barely smoke, but the atmosphere was charged, and a cigarette felt in order. The night was progressing well. There was the usual cast of characters at the rooftop. The single men, in twos and three’s, the high-class hookers, all in designer wear, short dresses, shiny thighs, and designer handbags, finished off with manicured toes and nails. There were a few couples, but not many, everyone was a mystery here, and wanted to remain so.

 

Karen began to make eye contact with a long dark-haired lady behind and across from us. They kept smiling at each other. She looked attractive, she looked quite normal. Karen was interested to explore her sexuality ever since I met her. I don’t have an issue with her desire, in fact I believe she should explore what makes her happy. She had condoms in her handbag, maybe to make herself feel naughty. As I said that night, we were looking for an adventure.

 

We continued to drink and continued to enjoy the atmosphere. Eventually Karen told me the lady she was making eye contact with and smiling at was signaling us to move to her table. I liked the idea of meeting someone and talking, so Karen moved across and I followed. Karen took the lead, and it was fine by me. Let the adventure begin. I brought our drinks and her bag with me. We sat and we talked to our new friend Ekatarina. Ekatarina, it turns out, is a single mom to Joseph and is from Bulgaria. She told us she was on holiday in town and lived downtown. She was sweet and well dressed.

 

The evening continues, Karen was happy, I was happy. More drinks were ordered, and we enjoyed the atmosphere. The cast of characters continued to intrigue. A young man appeared with peroxide curly hair and botoxed lips that must have taken a major dose to achieve the level of plumping on display. The music was very party, and the sound system was crystal clear.

 

Eventually I asked Karen if she would like to leave and if she wanted Ekatarina to join us. Karen smiled and confirmed she would like Ekatarina to go with us. I paid the bill, and we rose to leave. Karen was now a little tipsy and we had to support her as we left.

 

At the hotel entrance we found a cab, it must have been well after midnight. By now we had consumed 3 bottles of sake, and at least 5 cocktails each. We were entering the twilight zone. Karen and Ekatarina sat in the back of the cab, I sat by the driver and snoozed off. It took us 20 minutes to reach my home and we entered quietly and headed for the guest bedroom.

 

The ladies looked comfortable, after visiting the washroom, they both stripped off and started to French kiss each other. Things progressed and we were all on the bed together. Kissing, touching, feeling, caressing, and enjoying. What was there not to like about this experience. The adventure was fun and pleasurable.

 

I asked if I should go and take a pill, I had been drinking and my level of readiness needed some help. Karen told me to take the pill. I did and when I returned the ladies were still having a fun time sharing one another.

 

After some watching, I was given attention and I gave attention. I remember Ekatarina climbing onto me and asking Karen for a condom. Karen gave Ekatarina the condom, and Ekatarina put it on me. Then she climbed on top of me. Karen looked at me and I could tell she wasn’t happy. I just lay there. Looking back, it’s clear, that this was not meant to happen, and I was going through the ultimate test of my loyalty to Karen. I didn’t resist Ekatarina, she carried on riding me. I couldn’t stop the process; I was very drunk and had no control over my animal desires. I wish I could have stopped.

 

Karen dressed and left. I let her go. What a mistake I made. Was I wrong, yes I was, I had drunk too much, I was not in control. This sequence of events ruptured our relationship.

 

I paid Ekatarina what we had agreed, and she left in a taxi. I called Karen an hour later, she was hysterical. Clearly, I had crossed a line, can I blame the alcohol. Can I blame Karen. The only thing I am sure of is I can only blame myself.

 

We went down a rabbit hole, at the end of which our relationship is now hanging by a thread.

[Wiseman2]

10 minutes ago, lostinparadise said:

 Ipaid Ekatarina what we had agreed, The only thing I am sure of is I can only blame myself

Hiring an escort for your adventure was a horrible idea. It's only 9 mos and it's time to end it.

[Sun Seeker]

Nice story. Putting aside how the whole thing is just wrong, if this is all true, then Katerina is actually crazy.

She finds an escort for you both, then tells you to take a pill.. to do what exactly? Sit there in the corner using your hand while watching them both? Err no, off course you are going to get involved. If she wants to end things then let her, you are dodging a bullet.

[glows]

“Karen”, your partner, appears to have trust issues anyway. It was unrealistic for her to toy with either of you in the situation and test your “loyalty”. This is full of mind games. 

End it and be with whomever you choose. If you prefer the swinging lifestyle ensure your partner is on the same page and without these insecurities.

[poppyfields]

5 hours ago, lostinparadise said:

She was called Ekatarina, 31 but looked a bit older...

I agree nice story..

How did you know her age?  Excuse my ignorance but do escorts announce their age when they meet you? 

[Pumpernickel]

5 hours ago, lostinparadise said:

Sophie was lovely and I enjoyed kissing her.

I am confused. Which one is Sophie?

[poppyfields]

6 minutes ago, Pumpernickel said:

I am confused. Which one is Sophie?

Sounds like he might have gotten his characters mixed up.