Angel29 Posted February 10, 2022 Posted February 10, 2022 I have received an anonymous Valentines card through the post. The man wrote in my card: For you Grace 'With all my love' - These words were in the card and he has put hyphens around them. From someone who has admired you for a long time. All my love and lots of it. Your Valentine xxxx You got a nice bum too! I'm not sure if I am supposed to be flattered. It is a man in his 40s as only male friends this age know where I live or my ex. It seems this man lacks confidence and has only referred to my looks/body parts and is not someone who I would consider as a life partner. I just find it creepy doing it anonymously. The writing looks similar to my ex who I have not spoke to in over 10 years. He was an abusive sex addict who focused on body parts which made me think of him. One or two people have said laugh off the 'compliment'. I honestly think that is bad advice as women get killed after they have raised concerns about a stalker and being told they are overthinking.
smackie9 Posted February 10, 2022 Posted February 10, 2022 (edited) Hah I think i got something similar when I was in grade 9. Nothing ever came of it. Edited February 10, 2022 by smackie9
glows Posted February 10, 2022 Posted February 10, 2022 55 minutes ago, Angel29 said: One or two people have said laugh off the 'compliment'. I honestly think that is bad advice as women get killed after they have raised concerns about a stalker and being told they are overthinking. Are there other examples where you’ve felt stalked or harassed by that particular ex or someone else?
ShyViolet Posted February 11, 2022 Posted February 11, 2022 Yeah I wouldn't be flattered by this.... I would find it creepy. What's the point of receiving an anonymous card where the person doesn't even have the courage to identify themselves? It would just leave me feeling weird.
chillii Posted February 11, 2022 Posted February 11, 2022 l got this massive very expensive bunch of flowers sent to me once , with a little card and they were delivered from a person 120km away. Tbh , it felt so creepy that l threw them in the bin.
Tullyseptember Posted February 11, 2022 Posted February 11, 2022 Can you put it back in the mail with "return to sender"?
Wiseman2 Posted February 11, 2022 Posted February 11, 2022 10 hours ago, Angel29 said: I have received an anonymous Valentines card through the post. It is a man in his 40s as only male friends this age know where I live or my ex.. What is on the envelope? The post office stamps things. Don't worry about the content. Obviously it's someone who knows your home address. If it's that disturbing bring it to the local police department.
ExpatInItaly Posted February 11, 2022 Posted February 11, 2022 5 hours ago, Tullyseptember said: Can you put it back in the mail with "return to sender"? That's what I would do. It would creep me out.
Alvi Posted February 11, 2022 Posted February 11, 2022 Let's just hope he is not going to contact you again. But yes, be vigilant. This is very creepy, indeed. 12 hours ago, Tullyseptember said: Can you put it back in the mail with "return to sender"? Yes, perhaps this is the best thing to do.
vla1120 Posted February 11, 2022 Posted February 11, 2022 18 hours ago, Angel29 said: I just find it creepy doing it anonymously. The writing looks similar to my ex who I have not spoke to in over 10 years. He was an abusive sex addict who focused on body parts which made me think of him. One or two people have said laugh off the 'compliment'. I honestly think that is bad advice as women get killed after they have raised concerns about a stalker and being told they are overthinking. Ugh. My daughter had a "secret admirer" who kept leaving her flowers and candy and cards on her car at her apartment complex. It finally did stop when she left a note inside her window telling him it made her feel uncomfortable and to please stop. Luckily, nothing further came of it. Hopefully, this is a one-off isolated incident and you won't hear from them again. If you do, just file a report with your local police department so it is on record. How do these men not understand this is creepy and unwanted attention?
dramafreezone Posted February 11, 2022 Posted February 11, 2022 (edited) 34 minutes ago, vla1120 said: Ugh. My daughter had a "secret admirer" who kept leaving her flowers and candy and cards on her car at her apartment complex. It finally did stop when she left a note inside her window telling him it made her feel uncomfortable and to please stop. Luckily, nothing further came of it. Hopefully, this is a one-off isolated incident and you won't hear from them again. If you do, just file a report with your local police department so it is on record. How do these men not understand this is creepy and unwanted attention? Because movies and pop culture make it seem like secret admirers will be well received by women. In the movies the women have secret admirers and they all talk to their GFs about who it could be, and it's this exciting thing. They'll be intrigued by it and then fall in love once they find out who it is. Of course in real life it's very "creepy." I did the secret admirer thing once in high school, and I learned then how the person on the other end could be really scared by this idea that someone's watching them but they don't know who. The secret admirer is thinking that they want to tell the OP how they feel while risking no damage to the ego, and he thinks she'll see this as romantic. I don't think he's trying to be creepy but again he's not thinking of how it'll be received. Edited February 11, 2022 by dramafreezone
vla1120 Posted February 11, 2022 Posted February 11, 2022 51 minutes ago, dramafreezone said: The secret admirer is thinking that they want to tell the OP how they feel while risking no damage to the ego, and he thinks she'll see this as romantic. I do understand this concept and, in certain instances, I think it could be romantic if the intentions are purely innocent and eventually, the secret admirer reveals him/herself in a timely manner. I probably watch too many stalker/true crime shows. 1
mark clemson Posted February 11, 2022 Posted February 11, 2022 Yes, it's creepy because this person doesn't know how to express his apparent attraction to you in a socially appropriate manner. Socially inappropriate expressions of attraction tend to fall very flat, particularly if it's men towards women. This guy may think you're cute, etc, but he's of course essentially blown his chances with this particular "move". You'll be disinterested in him and looking for a man with better social skills. In a world of over 7B people, and with all the attractive women and men with poor social skills out there, this particular story probably plays out literally thousands if not 10s of thousands of times a day. C'est la vie. 1
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