Author Lewis321 Posted February 10, 2022 Author Posted February 10, 2022 52 minutes ago, Sun Seeker said: Are you saying that you received mail from a hospital, then re used that envelope they sent you, to send her the card? Yes
Happy Lemming Posted February 10, 2022 Posted February 10, 2022 Can I ask why you didn't go to the dollar store and pick up a box of blank white envelopes?? I don't do a lot of mailings, but I keep some blank white envelopes in stock and when they get low, I buy some more for $1.00. Seems better to use a plain white envelope then re-use one with a hospital logo (and their return address imprinted) on it... 1
poppyfields Posted February 10, 2022 Posted February 10, 2022 (edited) 31 minutes ago, Lewis321 said: Poppyfields the card I bought was one of them plastic ones, similar to what you would put by a gravestone but this card was a romantic 'for the one I love' card that didn't come with a envelope. Hence me having to use a different envelope. In addition to what Happy Lemming just suggested, perhaps you might have whited-out the logo and written your own return address, or put a sticker with hearts over it or something, She may have freaked a bit when seeing it, thinking she was being sent bad medical news about herself or a loved one, or a bill for services or something. Anyway, lesson learned. Hope it all works out. ETA: You're lucky she opened it and didn't toss it in the trash thinking it was junk mail, I might have! lol Edited February 10, 2022 by poppyfields 1
Author Lewis321 Posted February 10, 2022 Author Posted February 10, 2022 15 minutes ago, Happy Lemming said: Can I ask why you didn't go to the dollar store and pick up a box of blank white envelopes?? I don't do a lot of mailings, but I keep some blank white envelopes in stock and when they get low, I buy some more for $1.00. Seems better to use a plain white envelope then re-use one with a hospital logo (and their return address imprinted) on it... Happy lemming I was isolating so was unable to go and get any.
Wiseman2 Posted February 10, 2022 Posted February 10, 2022 3 hours ago, Lewis321 said: she complained as I sent it using a already used envelope which had a hospital logo on it. She said she was embarrassed when the postman gave it to her. Anybody thoughts? Is she being unreasonable? Yes she's unreasonable. It's a nice thought. Who cares about the envelope? 2
poppyfields Posted February 10, 2022 Posted February 10, 2022 1 minute ago, Lewis321 said: Happy lemming I was isolating so was unable to go and get any. But yet you went out and bought the card from the gift shop? Don't mean to give you a hard time, but they do sell envelopes at the gift shop. Anyway, again, lesson learned for next time this happens.
Happy Lemming Posted February 10, 2022 Posted February 10, 2022 (edited) .....deleted.... Edited February 10, 2022 by Happy Lemming
Author Lewis321 Posted February 10, 2022 Author Posted February 10, 2022 14 minutes ago, poppyfields said: In addition to what Happy Lemming just suggested, perhaps you might have whited-out the logo and written your own return address, or put a sticker with hearts over it or something, She may have freaked a bit when seeing it, thinking she was being sent bad medical news about herself or a loved one, or a bill for services or something. Anyway, lesson learned. Hope it all works out. ETA: You're lucky she opened it and didn't toss it in the trash thinking it was junk mail, I might have! lol Poppyfields appreciate your comments, the heart idea is quite good I didn't think of that. I can understand maybe she might of freaked out I just thought her response wasn't t appropriate considering I was just trying to do something nice.
Author Lewis321 Posted February 10, 2022 Author Posted February 10, 2022 Just now, Wiseman2 said: Yes she's unreasonable. It's a nice thought. Who cares about the envelope? Wiseman2 thankyou. Her response to these kind of things makes me feel like I'm not doing things good enough. 1
poppyfields Posted February 10, 2022 Posted February 10, 2022 (edited) 8 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said: Yes she's unreasonable. It's a nice thought. Who cares about the envelope? A girlfriend might, it's a bit impersonal. The point is, she cared. That's really all that matters, however I do suspect there was more to it than just this one incident. Edited February 10, 2022 by poppyfields
Author Lewis321 Posted February 10, 2022 Author Posted February 10, 2022 4 minutes ago, poppyfields said: But yet you went out and bought the card from the gift shop? Don't mean to give you a hard time, but they do sell envelopes at the gift shop. Anyway, again, lesson learned for next time this happens. Poppyfields I bought the card before I had to isolate but forgot to get a envelope. 1
poppyfields Posted February 10, 2022 Posted February 10, 2022 (edited) 5 minutes ago, Lewis321 said: Wiseman2 thankyou. Her response to these kind of things makes me feel like I'm not doing things good enough. Then stop doing/giving so much Lewis, that's what I do when my efforts go unappreciated or unnoticed. I simply stop giving so much. I do agree it was a thoughtful gesture and probably didn't warrant the reaction you received, but perhaps it's time to rethink if this relationship is the right relationship for you? Best of luck whatever you decide. Edited February 10, 2022 by poppyfields 3
SingFish Posted February 10, 2022 Posted February 10, 2022 Isn't it weird what things people will pick up on and label acceptable/unacceptable! Like the postman even notices our mail- I know my man and he doesn't cos he handles like a million pieces a week. And who cares anyway? Says a lot about people when they are embarrassed about trivia sometimes. @Lewis321I would totally appreciate your gestures, recycling especially 3 1
Author Lewis321 Posted February 10, 2022 Author Posted February 10, 2022 34 minutes ago, poppyfields said: A girlfriend might, it's a bit impersonal. The point is, she cared. That's really all that matters, however I do suspect there was more to it than just this one incident. Well in my head mailing it to her is quite personal, you couldn't really get more personal than that. Well a pattern is emerging where I genuinely know that I give her attention and love on a regular basis but she complains, gets defensive and seeks validation excessively in my view. 1
Alpacalia Posted February 10, 2022 Posted February 10, 2022 It isn't a good thing to need constant appreciation in the form of perfect envelopes. At best, it is annoying, but at worst, her negativity may be from underlying issues. Perhaps she needs therapy. She might be overeager for attention. Tell her so. Tell her you are her boyfriend, not her garbage dump. 1
Wiseman2 Posted February 10, 2022 Posted February 10, 2022 1 minute ago, Alpaca said: She might be overeager for attention. Agree, this is the impression I get. Sort of princessy. Her love language seems to be materialism. Is this the same women?: 1
poppyfields Posted February 10, 2022 Posted February 10, 2022 (edited) 9 minutes ago, SingFish said: Like the postman even notices our mail... Exactly. I think it was very weird that she would be embarrassed by it, makes no sense, it's not like the postman opened the mail. He's just delivering a piece of mail from what appeared to be a hospital, so what? Nothing for your girlfriend to be embarrassed about. Not to mention, what postman hands us our mail, he places it in our mailbox with our other mail. Very very strange. Anyway, again regardless of what envelope it was in, the card was a very kind and thoughtful gesture, Lewis. Find a girlfriend who appreciates it. Edited February 10, 2022 by poppyfields 1
poppyfields Posted February 10, 2022 Posted February 10, 2022 12 minutes ago, Lewis321 said: Well in my head mailing it to her is quite personal, you couldn't really get more personal than that. Hand delivering it is more personal Lewis, mailing it is impersonal. For example, you could have placed it on her pillow without an envelope or next time she was over at yours, bring her breakfast and place the card again without the envelope on the tray or something, gotta be creative about these things! lol Whatever type of card it was, it did not come with an envelope like most cards do which suggests it was not meant to be given inside an envelope. I dunno, I am totally overthinking this! LOL My final advice is either cut back on the amount of giving you do, or given your previous thread, reconsider ending the relationship altogether.
Alpacalia Posted February 10, 2022 Posted February 10, 2022 Doesn't matter how it was delivered, IMO. He sent a very thoughtful card which is enough in itself. The link to the other thread there is way more going on. 2
poppyfields Posted February 10, 2022 Posted February 10, 2022 (edited) 2 hours ago, Lewis321 said: Everything else I've done she's been very appreciative and treated me like a god, but was shocked by this. 33 minutes ago, Lewis321 said: Well a pattern is emerging where I genuinely know that I give her attention and love on a regular basis but she complains, gets defensive and seeks validation excessively in my view. These two statements contradict. Edited February 10, 2022 by poppyfields 1
poppyfields Posted February 10, 2022 Posted February 10, 2022 1 minute ago, Alpaca said: He sent a very thoughtful card which is enough in itself. I think we are all in agreement about that. 1
Author Lewis321 Posted February 10, 2022 Author Posted February 10, 2022 4 minutes ago, poppyfields said: These two statements contradict. OK so she tells me I'm amazing, there's no one like me, I know exactly what women want etc but out of knowhere say I don't show her enough love, I don't show any emotion, gets defensive over the smallest things, randomly gets worked up saying why won't I just love her???
poppyfields Posted February 10, 2022 Posted February 10, 2022 (edited) 20 minutes ago, Lewis321 said: OK so she tells me I'm amazing, there's no one like me, I know exactly what women want etc but out of knowhere say I don't show her enough love, I don't show any emotion, gets defensive over the smallest things, randomly gets worked up saying why won't I just love her??? Lewis, there is something called the 80/20 rule, which reads: "When it comes to your love life, the 80/20 rule centers on the idea that one person cannot meet 100 per cent of your needs all the time. Each of you is permitted to take a fraction of your time – 20 per cent – away from your partner to take part in more self-fulfilling activities and resume your individuality." It can also be interpreted as no partner is perfect 100% of the time, but if 80% of the time things are good and positive and 20% of the time, they're not as good as they could be, that's good enough. I am not one to follow rules, but as far as rules go, that's a pretty decent one imo. I wish you all the best moving forward. Edited February 10, 2022 by poppyfields 1
Author Lewis321 Posted February 10, 2022 Author Posted February 10, 2022 56 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said: Agree, this is the impression I get. Sort of princessy. Her love language seems to be materialism. Is this the same women?: Wiseman2 yes same woman. We actually done a love language test and hers is apparently words of affirmation but it seems no matter how often I compliment or tell her I love her it's not good enough. Also when I compliment her she can get defensive. 1
Author Lewis321 Posted February 10, 2022 Author Posted February 10, 2022 1 hour ago, poppyfields said: Exactly. I think it was very weird that she would be embarrassed by it, makes no sense, it's not like the postman opened the mail. He's just delivering a piece of mail from what appeared to be a hospital, so what? Nothing for your girlfriend to be embarrassed about. Not to mention, what postman hands us our mail, he places it in our mailbox with our other mail. Very very strange. Anyway, again regardless of what envelope it was in, the card was a very kind and thoughtful gesture, Lewis. Find a girlfriend who appreciates it. Thanks, she said she was on her front door having a cigarette when postman came hence passing it to her.
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