Free Butterfly Posted February 7, 2022 Posted February 7, 2022 Hi, I went on a date (walk) with a guy I met on an app. First thing that I noticed is that (it may sound silly to some) my very friendly dog didn´t like to be touched by him. He also has a dog and mine is always, always very friendly with people, he even jumps on delivery guys or anybody that comes to my house. He is the first person that my dog didn´t like. Secondly, after the walk he wanted to drop me off even though I could simply walk home. He said that he has something for me in the car (it was a bottle of wine) and that is the reason he would like to take me home. He did, but of course I didn´t invite him in. The next day he continued with communication, but his texting has become draining. Just today I didn´t reply for 2 hours, because I work for a living and I was in a meeting. He then said that I must be busy, etc etc. Not only that, he started to call me sweetie, sweetheart, etc. even before our first date. Now he is planning a dinner which was supposed to be tomorrow. He sent me few suggestions for a restaurant but I am just thinking how to cancel the date without hurting him. He is constantly saying how ´awesome´ I am, calling me all sorts of names. He doesn´t even know me and he told me about his childhood trauma on the first date, also about his past relationships, etc. Now, how should I politely decline his invitation?
Wiseman2 Posted February 7, 2022 Posted February 7, 2022 9 minutes ago, Free Butterfly said: Just today I didn´t reply for 2 hours, because I work for a living and I was in a meeting. He then said that I must be busy, etc etc. Not only that, he started to call me sweetie, sweetheart, etc. even before our first date. Agree a lot of red flags from the clinginess to the sweettalk to simply too much too soon. It was one date so a simple "sorry were not a match" will be ok. 1
Gaeta Posted February 7, 2022 Posted February 7, 2022 I don't bother explaning myself to weirdos anymore, they don't get it anyway, l just block them averywhere. 3
glows Posted February 7, 2022 Posted February 7, 2022 48 minutes ago, Free Butterfly said: Hi, I went on a date (walk) with a guy I met on an app. First thing that I noticed is that (it may sound silly to some) my very friendly dog didn´t like to be touched by him. He also has a dog and mine is always, always very friendly with people, he even jumps on delivery guys or anybody that comes to my house. He is the first person that my dog didn´t like. Secondly, after the walk he wanted to drop me off even though I could simply walk home. He said that he has something for me in the car (it was a bottle of wine) and that is the reason he would like to take me home. He did, but of course I didn´t invite him in. The next day he continued with communication, but his texting has become draining. Just today I didn´t reply for 2 hours, because I work for a living and I was in a meeting. He then said that I must be busy, etc etc. Not only that, he started to call me sweetie, sweetheart, etc. even before our first date. Now he is planning a dinner which was supposed to be tomorrow. He sent me few suggestions for a restaurant but I am just thinking how to cancel the date without hurting him. He is constantly saying how ´awesome´ I am, calling me all sorts of names. He doesn´t even know me and he told me about his childhood trauma on the first date, also about his past relationships, etc. Now, how should I politely decline his invitation? Let him know that you are not a match and then block him. There is no reason to wait for a response. You're doing both of you a favour moving on. I agree with you that he seems OTT. 1
ExpatInItaly Posted February 7, 2022 Posted February 7, 2022 42 minutes ago, glows said: Let him know that you are not a match and then block him. There is no reason to wait for a response. I agree with this.
smackie9 Posted February 7, 2022 Posted February 7, 2022 Tell him "Sorry but I only date people my dog likes." 3
Alpacalia Posted February 7, 2022 Posted February 7, 2022 (edited) My dog not liking him would be enough for me. Dogs are super perceptive of people's energy. It took me almost two years just to post about my ex on this site, can't imagine on a first date. So on all the other merits, the excessive texting, the early use of pet names and especially such deep discussions on a first date, way too much IMO. Just tell him you don't feel that you're a match. Good luck! Edited February 7, 2022 by Alpaca 2
ShyViolet Posted February 10, 2022 Posted February 10, 2022 Trust your instincts. This guy just sounds a little creepy. There's no need to worry so much about the "right" way to let him down. Send him a very short and to-the-point text, something like "thank you for the invite, but I don't feel that we are a match" and then leave it at that. If he keeps texting you, block him. Explaining yourself just makes it worse and is completely unnecessary. You don't owe him an explanation. 1
vla1120 Posted February 10, 2022 Posted February 10, 2022 You had me at "my very friendly dog didn't like to be touched by him." Dogs are a great judge of character. Like others have said, you owe him no explanation. Tell him you are not interested and block him. 2
Calmandfocused Posted February 10, 2022 Posted February 10, 2022 Agree with others, cut him loose. This reminds me of a guy I dated. We went out one time, date was good and I agreed to see him again 3 days later… He obsessively text me within those 3 days. The day before I was due to see him I was in an all day meeting (which he knew I would be). When I looked at my phone later that day my jaw dropped. He had text me 26 times, the tone getting more and more needy and desperate with every text…. I cancelled the second date. You should too.
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