Is he not that interested. Should I wait

[Lookingforlove98]

I went to a bar yesterday with my friend and saw a bartender I’ve seen before there. We’ve made eye contact before and I thought he was cute, so I decided to ask him out.  I went up and said “can I tell you something” Then he got close and I whispered “i know you probably have a gf, but I see you around a lot and I think you’re super hot and I like your vibe. If I gave you my number, do you think you would use it”. My friend said he smiled and blushed and he also said yeah! And got me a pen and napkin. I was struggling to remember my number because it was such a bold move for me lol! He said he’d text in a bit. So we left for another place and a couple hours later I dropped her back off at the bar he was at and he was outside. He must have saw me because I got the text “hey this is x from x! Just saw you pass by and remembered to text you”

 

I’m a little underwhelmed by the text !!! Does anyone think that’s kind of rude he said he remembered to text because I passed by? As though otherwise he would have forgotten? I don’t know if I’m just reading too much into it. If he wasn’t interested, he wouldn’t have texted at all? But maybe he’s just being polite ? 

Edited February 6, 2022 by Lookingforlove98

[Wiseman2]

He may get hit on a lot and has to be friendly with customers.

He may or may not text you for a date. That's ok, as long as it's not awkward if you frequent that bar.

[Lookingforlove98]

All he texted was “hey this is x from x! Just saw you pass by and remembered to text you” but it’s only been a couple hours. 

 

So I should wait to respond until he asks me for a date?  Thanks 

Edited February 6, 2022 by Lookingforlove98

[Lookingforlove98]

Oh alsoI had to drop my friend off at the bar because her car was parked outside  , but I just passed by to drop her off. Didn’t go inside 

[ericw899]

32 minutes ago, Lookingforlove98 said:

I went to a bar yesterday with my friend and saw a bartender I’ve seen before there. We’ve made eye contact before and I thought he was cute, so I decided to ask him out.  I went up and said “can I tell you something” Then he got close and I whispered “i know you probably have a gf, but I see you around a lot and I think you’re super hot and I like your vibe. If I gave you my number, do you think you would use it”. My friend said he smiled and blushed and he also said yeah! And got me a pen and napkin. I was struggling to remember my number because it was such a bold move for me lol! He said he’d text in a bit. So we left for another place and a couple hours later I dropped her back off at the bar he was at and he was outside. He must have saw me because I got the text “hey this is x from x! Just saw you pass by and remembered to text you”

 

I’m a little underwhelmed by the text !!! Does anyone think that’s kind of rude he said he remembered to text because I passed by? As though otherwise he would have forgotten? I don’t know if I’m just reading too much into it. If he wasn’t interested, he wouldn’t have texted at all? But maybe he’s just being polite ? 

Based off of the timeframe it’s sounds like he was still working or just finishing up his shift. Bartending can be very stressful especially when it’s very busy so I’m sure he had a pretty crazy night and was exhausted. When you’re exhausted after a long day sometimes you’re not thinking when you send a text. I don’t think he meant I remembered as if he forgot all together, I think it just reminded him to send the text in that moment. The fact he sent the text is a good sign I’d text him back and see where it goes. Also though you failed to mention whether he really does have a girlfriend or not, so if he does then he obviously just texted you to be polite and it would make sense why he wouldn’t really remember 

[Lookingforlove98]

14 minutes ago, ericw899 said:

Based off of the timeframe it’s sounds like he was still working or just finishing up his shift. Bartending can be very stressful especially when it’s very busy so I’m sure he had a pretty crazy night and was exhausted. When you’re exhausted after a long day sometimes you’re not thinking when you send a text. I don’t think he meant I remembered as if he forgot all together, I think it just reminded him to send the text in that moment. The fact he sent the text is a good sign I’d text him back and see where it goes. Also though you failed to mention whether he really does have a girlfriend or not, so if he does then he obviously just texted you to be polite and it would make sense why he wouldn’t really remember 

Thanks well I gave him my number at 9pm dropped her off at her car at 11pm. That’s when he texted. He was still working until 3am to my knowledge because the bar closes then so you are correct he was. He never said if he had a girlfriend or not even though I started with “you probably have a gf, but I think you’re super hot.” So I guess I just assumed he would get the message and not contact if he had one. Maybe that’s not a good assumption 
 

 

[ericw899]

19 minutes ago, Lookingforlove98 said:

Thanks well I gave him my number at 9pm dropped her off at her car at 11pm. That’s when he texted. He was still working until 3am to my knowledge because the bar closes then so you are correct he was. He never said if he had a girlfriend or not even though I started with “you probably have a gf, but I think you’re super hot.” So I guess I just assumed he would get the message and not contact if he had one. Maybe that’s not a good assumption 
 

 

It’s hard to say. Perhaps he views you as a good customer and good friend so he didn’t want to be rude and say no to exchanging numbers. 

[Lookingforlove98]

I’ve never been there before or talked to him before, but maybe 

[ericw899]

13 minutes ago, Lookingforlove98 said:

I’ve never been there before or talked to him before, but maybe 

Either way I give you a lot of credit. It’s not easy for a woman to make the first move so good for you. I’m a guy and I know I couldn’t do what you did haha

[Gaeta]

He's a bartender, he's hot so he gets hit on often specially in a place where people  are tipsy. You're probably another number in his pocket.  Sorry for being a downer.

[Lookingforlove98]

Oh d***. That’s too bad. I really don’t think he’s that hot, but he’s my type and I like his style. Plus I remembered we made eye contact at another place during a show so we liked the same music. I will hit him back with my name just to be sure and make him not feel ghosted. That’s sucks though, thanks. 

[Lookingforlove98]

He also wolf whistled me at the other place I saw him where he was not bartending, but I was with a guy I was dating at the time 

 

When I was writing my number down last night he recalled seeing me there 

[glows]

He’s being friendly and game or social, rolling with it. He has to be with a job like that. I do not see any romantic interest and he also made no comment about possibly having a girlfriend.

There’s nothing wrong with having a crush on the bartender but I’d treat him like a buddy/friend, not a date option. 

[Lookingforlove98]

8 minutes ago, glows said:

He’s being friendly and game or social, rolling with it. He has to be with a job like that. I do not see any romantic interest and he also made no comment about possibly having a girlfriend.

There’s nothing wrong with having a crush on the bartender but I’d treat him like a buddy/friend, not a date option. 

Thanks I guess that could be true . I’m just going to text and see if it goes anywhere

[princessaurora]

I think you should definitely respond. He's a bartender, not a rock or movie star. People can be polite and not accept a phone number. He knows you're interested because you complimented him, so he knows you're looking for more than friendship.  I think if he was being polite, he would just have just told you he had a gf. 

And maybe he does have a gf but that can change at any given moment. If he was whistling and making eye contact with you elsewhere he's obviously attracted to you and now he's opened the lines of communication. 

[Lookingforlove98]

8 minutes ago, princessaurora said:

I think you should definitely respond. He's a bartender, not a rock or movie star. People can be polite and not accept a phone number. He knows you're interested because you complimented him, so he knows you're looking for more than friendship.  I think if he was being polite, he would just have just told you he had a gf. 

And maybe he does have a gf but that can change at any given moment. If he was whistling and making eye contact with you elsewhere he's obviously attracted to you and now he's opened the lines of communication. 

Thanks  yes. It’s just a little dive bar and he’s just ok looking, but I like his style. He was staring a lot at the other place and wolf whistled when I passed which caught my interest, but like I said , I had a boyfriend who he actually sort of knew distantly. As I was writing my number down he mentioned we had seen each other there. So I will just text back. It won’t do any harm 

Edited February 6, 2022 by Lookingforlove98

[Beachead]

5 hours ago, Lookingforlove98 said:

“hey this is x from x! Just saw you pass by and remembered to text you”

Kudos to being forward and getting results!  You wanted him to text you and he did.  

Don't ruin your objective by getting caught up in the first message he sent you.  It might probably might just be to lighten the potential awkwardness of messaging a stranger.  You don't know him to judge who he is yet so give him a break right now.  Not everyone is going to be straight forward.   

Respond.  See what comes out of it.  

 

Edited February 6, 2022 by Beachead

[stillafool]

4 hours ago, Lookingforlove98 said:

All he texted was “hey this is x from x! Just saw you pass by and remembered to text you” but it’s only been a couple hours. 

 

So I should wait to respond until he asks me for a date?  Thanks 

No, because you were the one who asked him to text you.  He did, so now it's up to you to text back.  And, yes, cute bartenders get hit on all the time.

[ccas93]

 why not talk to him, or see if he wants to go out with you to gauge his interest, rather than over analyzing the way he worded the first text he sent you? I don't think his text was rude, it's just probably not the first time he's texted a girl before. 

[smackie9]

Girl you always respond back. You are the one who made the first move, you need to follow through not him. Ask him out.

[Lookingforlove98]

20 hours ago, smackie9 said:

Girl you always respond back. You are the one who made the first move, you need to follow through not him. Ask him out.

So update lol

 

i did ask this guy out. We ended up hanging out together last night and hooked up(no actual sex though) He got really deep in his feelings (and he only had a few drinks lol) he said this is everything he’s wanted for so long,  he wants a relationship,  and he’s all in with me etc.etc. all on the first night. He seemed sincere. I played along because I’ve been relationship horny before but  it was a bit much. It was so crazy. He is very intense. I was feeling him, but it’s like a different side of him came out and a bit too soon. I don’t know how I feel about him exactly, but it was a great night. Thanks 

[smackie9]

Don't worry about him, worry about yourself. Just play it cool, and hopefully he will follow your lead. 

[glows]

47 minutes ago, Lookingforlove98 said:

So update lol

 

i did ask this guy out. We ended up hanging out together last night and hooked up(no actual sex though) He got really deep in his feelings (and he only had a few drinks lol) he said this is everything he’s wanted for so long,  he wants a relationship,  and he’s all in with me etc.etc. all on the first night. He seemed sincere. I played along because I’ve been relationship horny before but  it was a bit much. It was so crazy. He is very intense. I was feeling him, but it’s like a different side of him came out and a bit too soon. I don’t know how I feel about him exactly, but it was a great night. Thanks 

He sounds tipsy. Let him ask you out next time. If it doesn’t happen it’s all talk, no action. 

I’d stay away from too much drinking this early.

 

[Lookingforlove98]

I dont think it was alcohol, he had 3 beers spread out and he was also the same way in this morning. He texted me already and I’ve only been home and hour. He wants to go out for dinner soon. Nothing wrong with how he is,  it’s just not what’s attractive to me early on in dating . Oh well, next one 

Edited February 7, 2022 by Lookingforlove98

[Lookingforlove98]

 I found out he didn’t wolf whistle me? he just whistled and sometimes it sounds like one haha. He was actually offended I thought he did that. He’s a cool person, but not for me 

Edited February 7, 2022 by Lookingforlove98