I just need some advice...

[bilumburg]

okay, i've never posted on here before but I need some advice, because at this point, i don't know what i should do. things used to be great with my recent girlfriend. i've known her for years and we never really thought of eachother as more than acquaintences until we saw eachother at a party a while back. she was still in a relationship with a guy who treated her horribly and she wanted to break up with him for a while but didn't want to until he was back from his vacation. for about a week as our feelings for eachother grew, she cheated on him with me until the opportunity came up for her to finally call things off with him for good.

 

from the time her and i were officially a couple, we grew more and more attached to eachother.. getting to the point when we were eachother's 'everything'. at one point, she had to move out with her parents so she rented a room from a mutual friend, where i stayed with her nearly every day/night for quite some time. she was the reason i turned my life around for the better, giving me a reason to be motivated to succeed in life, and giving me a reason to be happy.

 

during the high point of our relationship, we would talk about how she's never felt the same way about any other guy and how she would be so hurt if i ever left her or got bored of her(not the case in any way). she was also very foreward with me about the situations which would inevitably happen in time. we talked about how the time would come when she needed time to worry about her own ****, and see friends, while not wanting to feel obligated to call/see me, but she stressed that it would not be a break from loving me, it would just be a break from the stresses that relationships can bring forth. she also told me about how she would never cheat on aybody unless they hurt her beyond recognition. i was fine with this, because i knew id never do anything to her of the sort.

 

time grew on, and debts started growing on her.. it got to the point where rent at our friend's place got too high for her so she had to move back to her parent's house, which is too far away for things to be the way they once were. it got to the point where she ended up having to work every day, all day, and when she finally had time off, she was too tired to stay awake, and make the drive to see me.. or so she said. i was okay with this, i knew that i still had her, and she kept telling me that we're gonna get through it, and once she gets back on her feet, things would get better.

 

soon, she would only have one off day a week, and she began spending that time with friends, some male friends who she has always sworn that they were friends, nothing more. every time we tried to make plans together, she would end up not being able to keep these plans for one reason or another, and it just lead to me feeling like things had changed with the way she felt about me.

 

to me, if we were in a relationship, and she was having hard times, we should get through them together, and even if she was having a hard time, she should still make the effort to see me, to keep our relationship going. soon, the stresses of not seeing her at all or hearing from her much for about two weeks became too much for me, so i called her up and told her that I had been thinking, and It was agreed that we could officially take the 'break' that she had mentioned before, and i told her that i understood what she was going through, and that having to worry about hurting me would only add to her stress, and make her life much harder. we agreed to this break on the grounds that she doesn't have the time or the energy to be in a relationship, and that I didn't deserve to be going through this hurt of being treated like a non-boyfriend.

 

ever since the start of our break, i've felt like she has lost interest in me, and her feelings toward me had dwindled. lately, she has spent a lot of time with her guy friends(girl friends too) and has not made an effort to see me at all, although she claims to me and to all of our mutual friends that she still loves me and that there is nothing going on with any of her 'friends' that she has been hanging out with.

 

this may all seem like a bunch of bull**** and maybe im just doing what i tend to do, over think things, but i really feel like theres something shes not telling me. in a perfect world, there really would be nothing going on with any of the other guys she's been kickin it with, and after she gets back on her feet, we would get back together, and everything would eventually get back to the way things were before. unfortunately, this is NOT a perfect world, and things do not always work out the way they should. I love her with all my heart and as far as she's told me, or anybody else thats talked to her about it, she still feels the same as i do. I guess what im asking is what should i do? should i just give her the space she claims to need, and stop worrying about what might or might not be going on with these other people? from what i have said, what do you all think that the situation really is? i may have some left some things out, or not made sense on some parts of what i have written, and if i have done so, pleace indicate what i need to clear up, and i will do so in order to get more accurate advice. any detail that i have left out, i will be happy to revise.

 

thank you all in advance for the help that you may give me, im sure it will pull me out of this stupid depression, and hopefully, i will get a better idea of what is going on, and what i should do.

 

thank you

-scott