BJP1991 Posted February 5, 2022 Share Posted February 5, 2022 In this example, a girl I’ve been intimate with more than once and she initiates date ideas herself too, in addition to when I ask her out. Also it’s not like I’m complimenting her directly - it’s more when I wish her a good work day or fun at a family gathering, etc or tell her I have a fun date idea planned for next time we get together. Eyeroll and smile? Thank god she’s not a diabetic? Just tired of not really knowing how to respond all the time and I don’t want to only be the “sweet” guy - I do believe sometimes girls use “sweet” to friend zone a guy, but I don’t know if that applies here. Link to post Share on other sites
glows Posted February 5, 2022 Share Posted February 5, 2022 I don’t like the word either. It seems placating and “there, there”. Usually when a couple meets and you’re compatible, have similarities and you’re both mutually interested in each other the relationship deepens over time. Words like this ordinarily wouldn’t be a bother as the relationship is multi-dimensional. Eye-rolling or the desire to is an expression of contempt. It doesn’t sound like this is a match. Think back to the times you’ve shared and don’t linger if this isn’t for you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author BJP1991 Posted February 5, 2022 Author Share Posted February 5, 2022 5 minutes ago, glows said: I don’t like the word either. It seems placating and “there, there”. Usually when a couple meets and you’re compatible, have similarities and you’re both mutually interested in each other the relationship deepens over time. Words like this ordinarily wouldn’t be a bother as the relationship is multi-dimensional. Eye-rolling or the desire to is an expression of contempt. It doesn’t sound like this is a match. Think back to the times you’ve shared and don’t linger if this isn’t for you. I meant replying with an eye roll as a joke/reply in a playful way, not seriously eye rolling like people do in disgust/etc Link to post Share on other sites
glows Posted February 5, 2022 Share Posted February 5, 2022 1 minute ago, BJP1991 said: I meant replying with an eye roll as a joke/reply in a playful way, not seriously eye rolling like people do in disgust/etc Yeah, still not cool. Don’t do it. It’s passive aggressive also because you really are irritated with it but pretending not to be and “joking”. You know her a little by now after seeing her a few times. Do you see yourself dating her long term? If so, why haven’t you asked her to date you exclusively? What do you want out of this? Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted February 5, 2022 Share Posted February 5, 2022 I say this to my husband when he does over the top nice things for me and he likes it. I like it too when he says it to me. If it bothers you just tell her you don't like using the word "sweet" to describe you and I'm sure she'll stop. Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted February 5, 2022 Share Posted February 5, 2022 (edited) It bothers you that she tells you that you are “sweet?” Am I understanding correctly? She’s not “friend zoning” you. It’s a term of endearment. A compliment. A show of affection. Edited February 5, 2022 by BaileyB 1 Link to post Share on other sites
poppyfields Posted February 5, 2022 Share Posted February 5, 2022 (edited) OR you could try changing your mindset about it. It's a compliment, a term of endearment, I'm wondering what you don't like about it? Do you think it's not "masculine" to be called that? Too "girly"? 😁 I have often called my boyfriends "sweet," it's akin to a hot masculine man wearing a pink shirt, lol. Sexy as hell. The first time I called a boyfriend "sweet" I asked him if he minded that I called him that and he said no not at all, he was flattered. And he was (and still is) super masculine if that's what your concern is OP. Anyway, a fun response would be "aww, you're sweet for saying that." Edited February 5, 2022 by poppyfields 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author BJP1991 Posted February 5, 2022 Author Share Posted February 5, 2022 The concern is not that it bothers me. I like it, just don’t know how to respond all the time… As stated in the thread title: “how to respond”. Link to post Share on other sites
Alpacalia Posted February 5, 2022 Share Posted February 5, 2022 (edited) I usually say, “Thank you. I hope so.” 3 minutes ago, BJP1991 said: As stated in the thread title: “how to respond”. Edited February 5, 2022 by Alpaca Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted February 5, 2022 Share Posted February 5, 2022 1 minute ago, BJP1991 said: The concern is not that it bothers me. I like it, just don’t know how to respond all the time… As stated in the thread title: “how to respond”. I would give her a sexy smile, or pull her in for a kiss. Seriously, she is flirting with you - flirt back! My partner would reply with a sarcastic “I know…” and a smile or a wink. He would flirt back - you are a lucky girl to be dating such a “sweet” and wonderful man… 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted February 5, 2022 Share Posted February 5, 2022 44 minutes ago, BJP1991 said: it’s more when I wish her a good work day or fun at a family gathering, etc or tell her I have a fun date idea planned for next time we get together. I don’t want to only be the “sweet” guy - I do believe sometimes girls use “sweet” to friend zone a guy, but I don’t know if that applies here. How long have you been dating? It sounds like she's complimenting you. It's unclear why you believe it's friendzoning or think being sarcastic will help the situation. Link to post Share on other sites
glows Posted February 5, 2022 Share Posted February 5, 2022 7 minutes ago, BJP1991 said: The concern is not that it bothers me. I like it, just don’t know how to respond all the time… As stated in the thread title: “how to respond”. I usually ignore it. It’s not meaningful if it’s said in passing or mentioned in an offhand way so nothing to say. I don’t know why you feel compelled to respond at all. If you like flirting then do as the others suggested. It sounds like this is usually via text? Link to post Share on other sites
Author BJP1991 Posted February 5, 2022 Author Share Posted February 5, 2022 1 minute ago, glows said: I usually ignore it. It’s not meaningful if it’s said in passing or mentioned in an offhand way so nothing to say. I don’t know why you feel compelled to respond at all. If you like flirting then do as the others suggested. It sounds like this is usually via text? When it’s in-person it’s easy to handle. Usually I laugh/smile and pull her in for a kiss. Sometimes it’s by text, and that’s usually when I don’t know how to reply since it’s harder to convey things like when we are in-person 1 Link to post Share on other sites
poppyfields Posted February 5, 2022 Share Posted February 5, 2022 9 minutes ago, BJP1991 said: As stated in the thread title: “how to respond”. 14 minutes ago, poppyfields said: A fun response would be "aww, you're sweet for saying that." Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted February 5, 2022 Share Posted February 5, 2022 31 minutes ago, BJP1991 said: The concern is not that it bothers me. I like it, just don’t know how to respond all the time… As stated in the thread title: “how to respond”. You can do what my husband does and kiss her. I love that. Link to post Share on other sites
poppyfields Posted February 5, 2022 Share Posted February 5, 2022 (edited) 1 hour ago, BJP1991 said: Just tired of not really knowing how to respond all the time and I don’t want to only be the “sweet” guy - I do believe sometimes girls use “sweet” to friend zone a guy. No girls use "nice" when friendzing a guy. Lol Being sweet is good, it means she's into you and thinks you're, well, sweet!! 😂 Edited February 5, 2022 by poppyfields Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted February 5, 2022 Share Posted February 5, 2022 54 minutes ago, BJP1991 said: When it’s in-person it’s easy to handle. Usually I laugh/smile and pull her in for a kiss. Sometimes it’s by text, and that’s usually when I don’t know how to reply since it’s harder to convey things like when we are in-person All you have to do is say - thanks. You can then change the subject, or compliment her in return (“You are so sweet for doing that. Well you are the one who helps me with so many other things, it’s the least I can do), or you can flirt back - “bet you wish I was there so you could give me a kiss right now…” Honestly, there is no wrong answer except to ignore her or make her feel badly for showing you some affection. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted February 5, 2022 Share Posted February 5, 2022 You're really over-thinking this, OP. Just say thank you and pay her a compliment back. But whatever you do, don't send an eyeroll emoji. The joke will not read well over messaging. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted February 5, 2022 Share Posted February 5, 2022 (edited) I dunno...I never called anyone "sweet" if I was hot for them. FWB maybe? A place holder? Doesn't sound lusty to me. Edited February 5, 2022 by smackie9 Link to post Share on other sites
Beachead Posted February 6, 2022 Share Posted February 6, 2022 (edited) Hey OP, It depends on the situation but in my life experience, that word in the way it is used, had a condescending hidden meaning to it, used only by uninterested women, who wanted to cool things down and friendzone you or just friendzone you without letting anything heat up. Here are 3 scenarios: If you two are alone, she's looking you in the eyes and describing why she likes you and she says something "You care about people, you're down to earth, you're sexy, you're sweet, and that's why I'm with you.." then it's a good thing because the context behind that word is coming from a very intimate place. Or If you two are married and she uses it that's usually fine as well. If you two just met or are dating and responds with something along the lines of "aww you're so sweet" after you do something nice for her, don't even bother responding to it and pay real close attention to how she treats you in general. - Beach Edited February 6, 2022 by Beachead Link to post Share on other sites
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