Lifegoeson12 Posted January 31, 2022 Posted January 31, 2022 I was over at my boyfriends house. His roommates where there and we where all talking. anyway the subject of types came up and one of my bf friends said to him you have the worst taste in women. While I was standing right there. it actually really upset me as I thought it was very rude. Even his other roommates said well that’s rude but my boyfriend said nothing. He knew something was up over lunch and I told him what his friend said hurt my feelings and I felt that he should Have said something, even something like that was before I met you or something positive. He got angry because I was annoyed by it. He basically said it wasn’t meant in a bad way and that if my friends had said it that he wouldn’t have been upset. am I wrong in being hurt by the comment? if my friends said that about me in front of him I would’ve said something like don’t mind them they’re only jealous or your proof I’ve good taste. Something to make him feel better but instead I got told I was mad for feeling upset. Am I over reacting to it?
BaileyB Posted January 31, 2022 Posted January 31, 2022 How long have you been dating? Do you know his friends well? Yes, it was an insensitive thing to say. Is he an otherwise good boyfriend? Or, is this in keeping with his consideration for you in other ways?
FMW Posted January 31, 2022 Posted January 31, 2022 I agree it was insensitive. But then I tend to take things in a personal way, whether that was the intent or not so I try to give a little leeway. Sometime people don't think before they speak! If this friend of your boyfriend is usually friendly and welcoming to you then he likely didn't realize how it might be taken. Your boyfriend probably knew that and was defending his friend to you because he wants two people that are important to him to be on good terms. If the other roommates called out the friend, he probably didn't feel the need to add his own response. 34 minutes ago, Lifegoeson12 said: He got angry because I was annoyed by it. I can see him acting surprised or even a little defensive, but he shouldn't have been angry about you bringing it up with him. As BaileyB asked, does your boyfriend have a pattern of being inconsiderate of your feelings? If so, this incident might just be the tipping point for you.
glows Posted January 31, 2022 Posted January 31, 2022 Your boyfriend is the issue, OP. I’d think over the relationship. This is only one instance where your boyfriend lacks empathy or affection for you. He was unable to see you were in distress and didn’t comfort you or admit that the comment was insensitive. I’d take a good look whether you see this relationship lasting or going anywhere.
smackie9 Posted January 31, 2022 Posted January 31, 2022 omg this should be a deal breaker. Your BF is a chump.
Wiseman2 Posted January 31, 2022 Posted January 31, 2022 3 hours ago, Lifegoeson12 said: one of my bf friends said to him you have the worst taste in women. While I was standing right there. it actually really upset me as I thought it was very rude. How long have you been dating? How old is he? He seems as insensitive and immature as his roommates. Don't hang out with them anymore.
Gaeta Posted January 31, 2022 Posted January 31, 2022 (edited) I will say the same thing I said in your previous thread: Your bf is difficult, impatient, abrasive toward you. A boyfriend is suppose to enhance your life, suppose to be patient, understanding, appreciative. And now I am adding a boyfriend is suppose to have your back, defend you, protect you. This man is not even nice with you, you need to realize he is toxic and this not how a healthy relationship is. Edited January 31, 2022 by Gaeta 1
Happy Lemming Posted January 31, 2022 Posted January 31, 2022 There may be a weird dynamic in this roommate situation, where one of the roommates may be more "alpha" then the others. At the end of the day, you get to leave and go back to your place, while he has to live there and endure these other guys. I was in one roommate situation where one of the guys was also the superintendent/manager of the house. The owner was absent and let this one guy "kind of" run the house. Well the power of this situation went to his head and he was a tyrant to live with. At one point, I got a call from the owner who questioned me about something this tyrant had said I did. I told the owner my side of the story and added I'd only be there for another month. Roommate situations suck and there is always some power dynamic or jealousy going on. Your boyfriend can't control the actions of another person, all he can do is try to avoid the offensive guy (which will be difficult if they are all under one roof). I have a tendency to agree with @FMW, the other roommate called out the offensive guy on his remark, there was no need to "pile on".
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