Roarz Posted October 21, 2005 Posted October 21, 2005 Here is the background of my situation, so maybe someone more experienced in this department can help me. I'm 19 years old, she is 18. She got to college for the first time this year (I'm a sophmore, she's a freshman), and about half a semester in (one week ago from today), she all of a sudden takes me outside and tells me that we have to breakup. She said it was because I didn't share the same faith as her, wasn't as social as her (I am somewhat anti-social, but not extreme. She likes going to parties and stuff, and I only do ocassionally), ect and just said that the spark was gone. She also just said that she wanted to try and date other people. I don't understand why her feelings would just suddenly change after she got here. She's says she is a different person now after being here, and I'm just not the right guy for her. But we always used to have so much fun together, we only ever had 1 big fight the entire 2 years. There weren't any signals that this was coming, it just happened all of a sudden. What I want to know is, how can I best deal with this? I know this sounds naive, and maybe it is, but I just feel like she is the right girl for me. I just connect with her so well, and I can't imagine my life without her. I would do anything for her, including try to change into the guy that she wants. This past week has been hell. I can't study, I can't even go out without feeling bad, and every night I cry myself to sleep. She wants to keep being friends with me (we were best friends for a year beforehand) and I really want to too and we have hung out a few times since (I had tears in my eyes everytime I am with her), but is that the reason it is hurting so bad? Is it best just not to see her at all? Also, do you think that she will ever love me again? What is a good way to get her back again eventually? I just can't imagine life without her in it. Thanks for any help you can give.
tanbark813 Posted October 21, 2005 Posted October 21, 2005 She also just said that she wanted to try and date other people. That's the core reason right there. Rarely do people stay together when they go from high school to college. She wants to get out and date around. I suggest you do the same. I don't understand why her feelings would just suddenly change after she got here. She's says she is a different person now after being here, and I'm just not the right guy for her. But we always used to have so much fun together, we only ever had 1 big fight the entire 2 years. There weren't any signals that this was coming, it just happened all of a sudden. It's because of the first quoted reason. I'm also going to take a shot in the dark and guess that she was planning on breaking up with you once she got to college. She's probably been letting go of you emotionally for sometime now and just waiting for when it was convenient for her. So it might be sudden for you, but it's not for her. What I want to know is, how can I best deal with this? 1. Watch Swingers 100 times. 2. Start going to the gym. 3. Hang out with friends more. 4. Don't sit at home (or in your dorm or whatever) pining for her. She wants to keep being friends with me (we were best friends for a year beforehand) and I really want to too and we have hung out a few times since (I had tears in my eyes everytime I am with her), but is that the reason it is hurting so bad? Is it best just not to see her at all? Yes, it's best not to see her at all. She's going to use that time to help herself get over you and just kill time between dating other people. You'll be sitting there putting yourself through more misery wishing you could have her. What is a good way to get her back again eventually? I wouldn't focus on this if I were you. The part that sucks for you is that the best way to get her back is to move on and forget about her. But chances are you guys won't get back together. I know it sucks right now and you can't imagine life without her and you're in a lot of pain, but eventually that will all go away. We've all been there, man. Hang in there.
Author Roarz Posted October 21, 2005 Author Posted October 21, 2005 Thanks, this helps me more than you know...I really believe what you said about her letting go of me slowly for a long time now, as she doesn't seem sad at all about it, even when it happened. I kinda wish she would have just said something before hand and not let it drag on, but nothing I can do I guess. I still really want to get back with her, but I guess that will fade with time. Thanks for your help.
BigB Posted October 21, 2005 Posted October 21, 2005 Tanman speaks the TRUTH dude... It's gonna suck like hell for a while, but it get's better in time.
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