Alpacalia Posted February 2, 2022 Posted February 2, 2022 (edited) 27 minutes ago, justasht said: @Alpaca, so it's been a week for this match and another match where I sent a text a little too early. What would you recommend for a follow-up text to both of these people? So neither woman responded to your invitation to go on a date after a week? With online dating, it seems there is always some difference since everyone is messaging as well as talking to others. If you would like to try one more time, I suggest calling on the phone and provide an opening to discuss a few dates/times options. If they're like, "oh, let me think about it or blah blah blah," just move on. Edited February 2, 2022 by Alpaca
basil67 Posted February 2, 2022 Posted February 2, 2022 (edited) If she was interested, she would have worked with you to find a time which suits you both. Or she's testing you to see how enthusiastic you are. And if this is the case, you'd be best to avoid her. Too much drama. Remember, you're auditioning them as much as they are auditioning you. Edited February 2, 2022 by basil67
Happy Lemming Posted February 2, 2022 Posted February 2, 2022 12 minutes ago, justasht said: @Happy Lemming Just trying to understand why. Sorry... can't answer why people do the things they do... Perhaps its the nature of using On Line Dating. I tried it briefly (many years ago) and hated it. My experience with OLD consisted of old or photo-shopped pictures, not receiving a return call and no-shows, so I stopped using OLD. I went back to meeting women in real life and was much happier with the results.
poppyfields Posted February 2, 2022 Posted February 2, 2022 (edited) Believe it or not some woman don't know that they should offer an alternative date. I have a friend like this and I myself was also like this, during my "entitlement" days (years ago), not proud to admit. I would expect the guy to offer another date (jump through hoops lol), and if he didn't, I would honestly think he wasn't that interested. I have since learned that guys need a green light, but back then, I didn't have a clue. So it's possible this girl doesn't know that it's expected she offer an alternative date, soooo....... You could say something like "that's cool, let me know when you're free and we can set something up, take care." And then leave it, go no contact unless and until she gets back to you with a date she IS available. Continue chatting and meeting other women in the meantime. Edited February 2, 2022 by poppyfields
introverted1 Posted February 2, 2022 Posted February 2, 2022 1 hour ago, justasht said: @introverted1 What about asking for a woman's phone number? Is it best to ask for her phone number after setting a date, and then continuing to message there if necessary, or should I keep all communication in the app until after the date? What are your thoughts about it? I have heard differing opinions.. I like it when a man gives me his number, which allows me to call him with my number blocked, if I so choose. I am also ok with setting a date from inside the app and then sharing numbers when a plan is set up so there's a way to reach each other if there's traffic, or something comes up, etc. I don't have a lot of rules for this stuff, and if a man asked for my number "too soon" I would just decline, but it wouldn't be an issue. The only rule I really abide by is that we meet quickly. There are too many people in OLD who are just there to waste time.
Wiseman2 Posted February 2, 2022 Posted February 2, 2022 (edited) 10 hours ago, justasht said: OLD - Asked a girl out and I asked her out for coffee later this week. She said "That sounds like a lot of fun, but unfortunately won't be able to this week". How should I follow-up to this? Try to be more flexible and play things by ear more. Rigid rules about how many messages how many days, etc. just creates angst. In this case, rigid rules about "must make counteroffer immediately or delete" aren't in your best interest. How time-consuming is a text about "Ok, let me know when you're free" , then you can relax and move forward. If you hear from her great, if not, who cares? Edited February 2, 2022 by Wiseman2
Author jgolffan96 Posted February 2, 2022 Author Posted February 2, 2022 19 hours ago, Alpaca said: So neither woman responded to your invitation to go on a date after a week? With online dating, it seems there is always some difference since everyone is messaging as well as talking to others. If you would like to try one more time, I suggest calling on the phone and provide an opening to discuss a few dates/times options. If they're like, "oh, let me think about it or blah blah blah," just move on. @Alpaca So I ended up hearing back from both of them. One of them responded today to my text asking her out for Thursday or Friday for coffee and drinks and the other responded yesterday evening. The one that responded today (Michelle) said "I'm so sorry I never replied! Work has kept me crazy busy the past two weeks." For Michelle, should I give her a call this evening, or should I text her back? I am lost on what to text her back, as it seems like it is hard to nail down a time - How about saying "No worries. I understand. How about this Friday at 6?" ? Or this Saturday afternoon?
Alpacalia Posted February 2, 2022 Posted February 2, 2022 4 minutes ago, justasht said: @Alpaca So I ended up hearing back from both of them. One of them responded today to my text asking her out for Thursday or Friday for coffee and drinks and the other responded yesterday evening. The one that responded today (Michelle) said "I'm so sorry I never replied! Work has kept me crazy busy the past two weeks." For Michelle, should I give her a call this evening, or should I text her back? I am lost on what to text her back, as it seems like it is hard to nail down a time - How about saying "No worries. I understand. How about this Friday at 6?" ? Or this Saturday afternoon? This was all over text? Did "Michelle" ever say anything about your suggestion for coffee/drinks? And, this is the second time that you've reached out to her to try to arrange a date? Also, stop texting at this point. Pick up the phone and call her. This is a first date. Stop being so casual about it.
Author jgolffan96 Posted February 2, 2022 Author Posted February 2, 2022 Just now, Alpaca said: This was all over text? Did "Michelle" ever say anything about your suggestion for coffee/drinks? And, this is the second time that you've reached out to her to try to arrange a date? Also, stop texting at this point. Pick up the phone and call her. This is a first date. Stop being so casual about it. @Alpaca Yes, this was all over text. She did say something about my suggestion for coffee/drinks when I mentioned it in the dating app, and she gave me her phone number in the dating app. This is the second time yes. It would be better for me to call her after 5 PM EST, right, or should I call her now? I received the text from her at 2:19 PM EST.
Alpacalia Posted February 2, 2022 Posted February 2, 2022 5 minutes ago, justasht said: @Alpaca Yes, this was all over text. She did say something about my suggestion for coffee/drinks when I mentioned it in the dating app, and she gave me her phone number in the dating app. This is the second time yes. It would be better for me to call her after 5 PM EST, right, or should I call her now? I received the text from her at 2:19 PM EST. Okay, that's a promising sign. It's probably best to call later in the evening after you've finished work. Go for it, homie!
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