Pumpernickel Posted January 24, 2022 Posted January 24, 2022 So are you safe? There might be a major war in Ukraine soon. This is not a joke. Where are you right now? Are you taking appropriate action?
chillii Posted January 27, 2022 Posted January 27, 2022 On 1/22/2022 at 6:00 AM, poppyfields said: Expounding on @Pumpernickel's last post, can you elaborate^^? How is she good to you, what makes her such a catch? I have a feeling how you will respond as eastern European women, generally speaking, tend to take very good care of their men sexually, they tend to be submissive and allow the man to lead, which for many men is super important and makes them feel masculine and sexual. And of course this is powerful and can blind you to the negative aspects of the relationship as well as her nature and personality that have nothing to do with her culture. l dunno where women get these interpretations, they certainly aren't submissive in my experience if anything they're way more fun than most and extremely sexual. And hell yeah, a man would love that alright but the last thing on his mind is masculinity. 1
chillii Posted January 27, 2022 Posted January 27, 2022 (edited) On 1/22/2022 at 6:20 PM, jerrygordon3 said: I'm not into that. Most guys like tiny little women so they can feel powerful too. I tend to go for taller, larger women. I have no issue with any kind of equality or searching for something to make me feel like a man. i've never had trouble meeting good looking women and dont need someone to make me feel anything. I just want someone who is kinky a little bit and treats me with respect. it's easy to find a pretty face, a good person not so much. Says who, maybe they just find her sexy as hell bc she's so feminine ,maybe he loves her personality. Women usually like a bigger guy bc really it's just masculine and sexy to them of course it would be, sure makes her feel feminine and protected too but so what. Edited January 27, 2022 by chillii
poppyfields Posted January 27, 2022 Posted January 27, 2022 (edited) On 1/27/2022 at 11:09 PM, chillii said: dunno where women get these interpretations, they certainly aren't submissive in my experience if anything they're way more fun than most and extremely sexual.. Submissive and fun/extremely sexual are NOT mutually exclusive. As I said, my background is easten European, I am familiar with the culture (generally speaking). [ ] Edited January 29, 2022 by a LoveShack.org Moderator argumentative
Author jerrygordon3 Posted January 27, 2022 Author Posted January 27, 2022 On 1/23/2022 at 1:43 PM, Pumpernickel said: This. Also - talking about “leave” ——> why are you still in the country? Do you still feel safe in general? The U.S. are planning on evacuating diplomats as early as this week. Just throwing this out there. So actually this is a good point. My mom of course is worried and pleading with me to leave. i was front lines afghanistan in 2010. I volunteered to go and was hired again later as a contractor to go back to afghanistan ( i didnt end up going cause I decided I didnt want to live in ghan for 1-3 years). ANYWAYS. point is im not scared of getting killed and im definitely not a coward. however my best friend told me im an idiot and frustrating as hell because I wont leave Ukraine. Then 2 of my spec ops buddies ( marsoc/diver) messaged me and told me I should leave. They're obviously well informed. so I messaged my buddy whose a SEAL and asked him what he had heard if he could disclose it, and he said hes sitting in on a lot of briefs, cant go into detail, but it doesnt look good and I should leave. so I contacted the embassy and they said we advise you to get out of ukraine using any personal means available. for the record an invasion+ holding ground is highly unlikely. at least coming to odesa-- its a logistical nightmare not to mention sanctions, etc. However everyone including my spec ops friends and the embassy are telling me to leave. SO, i brought this up w my gf and she said she refuses to leave and more or less said its cowardly to leave. she said if youre so afraid you can run away. and I said, so you think im being a coward because of the advice im willing to take, and she said, "what would you call it?" I said lets go on vacation for 30 days. they say with the ice thawing an attack in march is highly unlikely and if there were to be some sort of invasion it would be JAN-FEB. again she refused. its caused arguments and to be honest, no im not scared of an invasion. but the risk to reward is 0- infinite. That being said we do have a good life together. she can be a major dick. the tinder thing happened when we first started dating and only when we were on the fritz. but ya shes molded me to become a provider. but everyone ive asked from around here said theyve been dumped even for not offering to pay for small car repairs, gifts, rent, etc. and these are local guys.. so it just affirmed this behavior is normal and to be expected. its been so long that ive been in this relationship that it doesnt feel bad or not normal either. she asks for money occasionally if its to like get her hair done and i pay for groceries and the occasional night out. shes financially quite low maint compared to how she was living when she dated her rich ex and says shes dated regular ukraine guys before who only made 500$ a month. so not shes not high maintenance. but she also blows my mind sometimes when I try to talk to her about real life, real situation concepts. i.e. a russian invasion
Author jerrygordon3 Posted January 27, 2022 Author Posted January 27, 2022 7 hours ago, poppyfields said: Submissive and fun/extremely sexual are NOT mutually exclusive. And I'm curious why and how you would make such a comparison. As I said, my background is easten European, I am familiar with the culture (generally speaking). And I am both. Submissive AND extremely sexual when in a relationship.. Thats where I got my "interpretation." Might I ask where YOU got your interpretation? Rhetorical question, I already know. We all have our own experiences and base our opinions and 'interpretations' therefrom. Your experiences and interpretations do not make it correct nor do mine. It's never that black and white. so do you think im getting played as well. I mean we live together and she doesnt do anything sketchy and I know all her friends and family. shes tried to play tough and ive been on the brink of ending the relationship and she gets legit upset. she cries and does try. shes not a nightmare to be with either. but Im not blind to the fact that she knows she can find someone else. but that doesnt mean shes a call girl or anything. dont know if this is important but im not woed by her looks. shes hot but shes far from me best looking gf. im not smitten. she doesnt go off into the night or hide s*** from me. when weve split up and met back up she had notifications on her phone and yes, tinder notifications. i asked her about it she said i was mad and didnt think we were going to work out so i swiped, I mean. I actually did the same on one occasion. I told her she cant be doing that stuff and she deleted it immediately. but i wont lie. I do have my suspicions. thing is if I sit around and wonder what she might be doing it will ruin the relationship. you shouldnt ever sit around and stew on what ifs. if someone is cheating youll know eventually and thats a free ticket to leave, and keep dating random girls and traveling the world. I have no problem with that. its easy for me to walk away once certain boundaries are crossed. so i try not to feed into insecurities. that being said, we arent public with our relationship on SM. and Im fine with that. I dont think shes a call girl but if she was and was doing it for the money... well.. I would end the relationship. but i get working for your money. its not conducive to a healthy relationship, at least not with me. the thing that bothers me is she used to be a sugar baby. she says she wasnt but she dated a rich guy who lived in UAE, saw her a couple times a year, sent her monthly money, and took her on elaborate vacations. thats a sugar baby. But she "loved him". but said she wanted out of the relationship for awhile and when she met me she ended things with him. she knew all along that I only made 2k/month on my pension and am learning to trade. there was 100% transparency. But if I leave ukraine for a month and stop paying her util. because my family has been pleading with me to vacation for a month until the situation cools off and theres some agreement between the countries. well, Im almost positive shell end the relationship. which is honestly pretty shitty. If i flipped the roles and my city was going to be a potential warzone and she was a foreigner and her family and friends were yelling at her to leave for a month and come home, i would understand and not end the relationship. but im pretty sure if i leave its over.
BaileyB Posted January 27, 2022 Posted January 27, 2022 3 minutes ago, jerrygordon3 said: so do you think im getting played as well. Dude, the only person who thinks you are not being played is you - 2
Author jerrygordon3 Posted January 27, 2022 Author Posted January 27, 2022 9 minutes ago, BaileyB said: Dude, the only person who thinks you are not being played is you - How am I supposed to bring this up to get some straight answers then? I can't just dump someone on assumptions
basil67 Posted January 27, 2022 Posted January 27, 2022 No, you don't dump her on an assumption. You dump her because her behaviour is sketchy. 2
poppyfields Posted January 27, 2022 Posted January 27, 2022 (edited) On 1/23/2022 at 10:23 AM, poppyfields said: >>I'm trying my best but when I bring up finances she scolds me. gives me silent treatment. << I missed this^ comment, wow... Come on man, get yourself together, this is flat-out unacceptable no matter what her culture. At this point, this isn't even about her anymore, it's about YOU and why are you allowing yourself to be treated this way? Nevermind her, look within, explore your own motivations and what draws you into this toxic mess. Requoting for emphasis. 19 minutes ago, jerrygordon3 said: I can't just dump someone on assumptions... What assumptions? See bolded in first quote. In what world do you live where your girlfriend "scolding" you for anything and giving you the silent treatment is OK? Serious question, I would really like to know. As has been said, nevermind HER, time to look within yourself to determine what draws you to her AND the toxic mess she's dragged you into. There is nothing good or positive there from what I have read, NOT based on assumptions but based on factual information about her nature, personality and your relationship you have provided, that have zero to do with her culture. Edited January 27, 2022 by poppyfields
poppyfields Posted January 28, 2022 Posted January 28, 2022 (edited) To me it's not even so much that she expects you to be the provider, it's how she speaks to you, how she treats you. Come on man, scolding you? What are you, her child? And the silent treatment, do you realize that is form of emotional abuse? And about finances of all things, when YOU are the one paying for everything! That's just flat out unacceptable for any self-respecting man, any self-respecting person, period. Edited January 28, 2022 by poppyfields 2
BaileyB Posted January 28, 2022 Posted January 28, 2022 (edited) 2 hours ago, jerrygordon3 said: How am I supposed to bring this up to get some straight answers then? I can't just dump someone on assumptions I don’t know what you are talking about when you say “assumptions.” What kind of assumptions do you think people are making - that she is playing you? That she’s out to take your money? She has made her expectations very clear and she’s already manipulating you to get what she wants. Her currency is money - look at her previous relationship. You dump her because you don’t want a dependent, you want a partner. Sure - you tolerate it now because she’s cute and the sex is good. But, this one of those things that doesn’t get better - it only gets worse. Money is one of the main reasons why couples fight/divorce. You are still early on in the relationship, she is still on her best behavior… that said, she is laying the foundation on which future expectations will be built. And when you fail to meet her needs, you will be gone. Again, consider her previous relationship. Edited January 28, 2022 by BaileyB
chillii Posted January 28, 2022 Posted January 28, 2022 (edited) [ ] OP just on your situation , l really wouldn't be going any further with this woman , and wanting to leave the country atm could be an opportunity to untangle yourself from it all. Edited January 29, 2022 by a LoveShack.org Moderator response to removed content
Wiseman2 Posted January 28, 2022 Posted January 28, 2022 (edited) 9 hours ago, jerrygordon3 said: if I leave ukraine for a month because my family has been pleading with me to vacation for a month until the situation cools off , Im almost positive shell end the relationship. Leaving the country and going home to your parents is the best course of action. You've only been dating for 24 weeks and unfortunately moved into her place with no car, no job, no money, etc. It's time to cut your losses on all levels. Admit defeat and go back home. You have nothing but character assassinations about her. Now she's a sugar baby? You haven't mentioned one quality you respect about her. Except she's hot and has a nice paid for condo. Get the next flight home. Edited January 28, 2022 by Wiseman2 3
CollinW Posted January 29, 2022 Posted January 29, 2022 So you pay for everything and you get scolded like an child? That's like being a stay at home mom and having to pay bills. I don't see how people end up in these situations.
Calmandfocused Posted January 29, 2022 Posted January 29, 2022 I’m gobsmacked how you can actually feel anything for this woman at all. Money aside she blatantly disrespects you and clearly she does not care about you at all…. She calls you a coward for having very legitimate fears? Come on man! Please wake up. She doesn’t love you! If she did she wouldn’t treat you this way. I see this relationship as simply transactional. Getting down to the bare bones of it, it’s simply a form of Prostitution; you pay her for her to be your dominant. That’s all it balls down to. 1
Calmandfocused Posted January 29, 2022 Posted January 29, 2022 Btw; so what if she ends the relationship if you go home for a month?! That will be the best thing to happen to you, and you should be thanking your lucky stars! If you have any respect left for yourself you would understand that the relationship ending is the best possible outcome for you! Let another Tinder boy take over her hair and nails costs. Who cares?
Recommended Posts