forumanon Posted January 18, 2022 Posted January 18, 2022 I started chatting to this guy from a dating app about a week ago, conversation was good and he was replying instantly. Moved to Instagram to talk there. I had a stalk and noticed that all his followers and followings (about 160 in total) were ALL female. I told him I thought that was a bit weird, and asked if he was catfishing me or married/in a relationship. He said no and sent me a video of himself saying my name, so okay not a catfish but potentially in a relationship? He said his followers are all girls because he only made an Instagram account ages ago for when girls from dating apps asked for his socials. I gave him the benefit of the doubt and kept talking to him. His replies were quick and he’d say a lot in his messages - our conversation was good, I felt we both enjoyed chatting to each other. If he ever took a while to reply he’d tell me he’s busy and he’ll answer when he can. Then suddenly, he stopped replying. He hasn’t texted back in 17 hours. Am I overthinking this? Is he maybe just busy? Or does this sound like he’s now not interested, or potentially in a relationship? 17 hours isn’t too bad in the grand scheme of things, but when you go from replying within minutes, to not replying in 17 hours it seems dodgy. Advice would be appreciated, I’m an insecure and anxious person so I never know how to interpret things reasonably.
JRabbit Posted January 18, 2022 Posted January 18, 2022 17 hours. Do you have a job or any hobbies? You are time patroling this man and you have never even met him. You need to chill. People have lives. That being said, yes it's sketchy this guy only follows random girls he meets online. Does he have no family friends or hobbies? 2
Wiseman2 Posted January 18, 2022 Posted January 18, 2022 23 minutes ago, forumanon said: Moved to Instagram to talk there. asked if he was catfishing me or married/in a relationship. I gave him the benefit of the doubt and kept talking to him. Way too many lateral moves and way too much texting. If someone does not suggest a meeting in a timely fashion, it's a red flag. Do not make assessments based on chitchat response time. He's not asking you out, so block and delete him and move forward to someone who would rather meet than message all the time. 2
glows Posted January 18, 2022 Posted January 18, 2022 2 hours ago, forumanon said: I started chatting to this guy from a dating app about a week ago, conversation was good and he was replying instantly. Moved to Instagram to talk there. I had a stalk and noticed that all his followers and followings (about 160 in total) were ALL female. I told him I thought that was a bit weird, and asked if he was catfishing me or married/in a relationship. He said no and sent me a video of himself saying my name, so okay not a catfish but potentially in a relationship? He said his followers are all girls because he only made an Instagram account ages ago for when girls from dating apps asked for his socials. I gave him the benefit of the doubt and kept talking to him. His replies were quick and he’d say a lot in his messages - our conversation was good, I felt we both enjoyed chatting to each other. If he ever took a while to reply he’d tell me he’s busy and he’ll answer when he can. Then suddenly, he stopped replying. He hasn’t texted back in 17 hours. Am I overthinking this? Is he maybe just busy? Or does this sound like he’s now not interested, or potentially in a relationship? 17 hours isn’t too bad in the grand scheme of things, but when you go from replying within minutes, to not replying in 17 hours it seems dodgy. Advice would be appreciated, I’m an insecure and anxious person so I never know how to interpret things reasonably. Regarding the portfolio of IG dating app women, instead of telling him it's weird and insulting him, only pass. This isn't worth debating. Meet with your dates within a week of matching on the app. 2
smackie9 Posted January 18, 2022 Posted January 18, 2022 His focus is somewhere else, possibly chatting with others. If it doesn't feel right then it's not. When they are real smooth and do and say everything you like to hear, he a player. The push and pull method....he pushes hard with communication, then he drops off the face of the earth. Here's a tip....when a guy texts you a little bit, asking questions about you, then after a few interactions asks you out...that guy should be for real.
ShyViolet Posted January 19, 2022 Posted January 19, 2022 He probably stopped replying because you have scared him off with the way you grilled him and questioned him about his social media, why he has the followers he has, why he follows who he follows, whether he's "catfishing" you, whether he's lying to you about stuff. All this and you had never even met the guy yet. This is enough to scare anyone off. You might want to take it down a notch with the insecurity and not assume the worst about people. 1
Ami1uwant Posted January 19, 2022 Posted January 19, 2022 This is unusual with Instagram of him only having femal followers. he likely has a big ego because he might be able to date women easily.
ccas93 Posted January 19, 2022 Posted January 19, 2022 160 followers in the weird Instagram - dating app graveyard? I don't like the odds of you not being buried next. and all that part aside, who cares, let him come to you. If he texts you back, then you got what you wanted, if not, well, you're competing against 160 other girls. 1
ExpatInItaly Posted January 19, 2022 Posted January 19, 2022 He probably has another private Instagram account where he posts his normal life, OP. He likely just uses this one for women he meets online and doesn't know. I wouldn't assume this one is the only one he uses. Just try to relax a bit and see what he does of his own volition now. He might not like that you called him out on having only female followers, but that's his problem. And not replying for 17 hours, eh, could be anything. Lack of interest now, busy, talking to another woman - who knows? The point is not to get too wrapped up in these things early on. Let people show you who they are. 1
kendahke Posted January 21, 2022 Posted January 21, 2022 he's a stranger. You need more to do with your time. 1
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