Charles_moeller Posted January 18, 2022 Posted January 18, 2022 I finished a 2nd date with Bumble match last Saturday....Seemed to go well. Lots of laughing, flirting, deep kissing, and opening up....When I got home she initiated text so I asked her on a 3rd date at my house this Friday to cook her dinner. She said she was working out her schedule and had work issues and would get back to me this week. I'm not concerned that she hasn't got back to me yet because she's terrible at texting all her friends/dates, etc and has mentioned this herself. However I noticed that last night she unmatched me on Bumble...We haven't talked on there in a few weeks as we only speak on WhatsApp but I'm wondering if this is a red flag that she doesn't want the 3rd date and if I should mention it to her to get clarity? If I planned the date for Friday and she hasn't got back I was thinking of checking in Wed/Thurs so that I can plan my weekend and get some confirmation. I'd appreciate any advice on this
elaine567 Posted January 18, 2022 Posted January 18, 2022 11 minutes ago, Charles_moeller said: When I got home she initiated text so I asked her on a 3rd date at my house this Friday to cook her dinner. She said she was working out her schedule and had work issues and would get back to me this week. I guess sex on the third date was your intention, she may not have liked that... 3
Author Charles_moeller Posted January 18, 2022 Author Posted January 18, 2022 Well the conversation form the 2nd date was about how she barely cooks for herself and doesn't know how so I thought it'd be a good opportunity to show off that side to her...Of course it'd be awesome to escalate but I'm invested in getting to know her so would of waited longer if it was a problem..
Foxhall Posted January 18, 2022 Posted January 18, 2022 Likewise, she appears to be hesitating on that, maybe retract it again, on second thoughts perhaps we should go out somewhere instead? have to read what she is comfortable with, so you do 1
Wiseman2 Posted January 18, 2022 Posted January 18, 2022 1 hour ago, Charles_moeller said: I asked her on a 3rd date at my house this Friday to cook her dinner. All you can do is see if she gets back to you on that. Keep in mind you're both still talking to and meeting others. She also is aware of your 3 date rule agenda of an in-house date escalating to more and may be put off by that. 1
glows Posted January 18, 2022 Posted January 18, 2022 (edited) 2 hours ago, Charles_moeller said: If I planned the date for Friday and she hasn't got back I was thinking of checking in Wed/Thurs so that I can plan my weekend and get some confirmation. I'd appreciate any advice on this Yes. Follow up mid-week and ask if she’s interested in dinner. Having her over and cooking for her is thoughtful. Ask her if she’s interested in that and offer an alternative to go out instead. If she doesn’t respond leave this as is. She isn’t interested. I wouldn’t read into the unmatching. It may be arbitrary or a mistake or basic clean up since you already have each others’ contacts. Edited January 18, 2022 by glows
Ami1uwant Posted January 18, 2022 Posted January 18, 2022 2 hours ago, Charles_moeller said: I finished a 2nd date with Bumble match last Saturday....Seemed to go well. Lots of laughing, flirting, deep kissing, and opening up....When I got home she initiated text so I asked her on a 3rd date at my house this Friday to cook her dinner. She said she was working out her schedule and had work issues and would get back to me this week. I'm not concerned that she hasn't got back to me yet because she's terrible at texting all her friends/dates, etc and has mentioned this herself. However I noticed that last night she unmatched me on Bumble...We haven't talked on there in a few weeks as we only speak on WhatsApp but I'm wondering if this is a red flag that she doesn't want the 3rd date and if I should mention it to her to get clarity? If I planned the date for Friday and she hasn't got back I was thinking of checking in Wed/Thurs so that I can plan my weekend and get some confirmation. I'd appreciate any advice on this Unsure where you live but yesterday ( Monday) was a federal holiday with many businesses closed so she wouldn’t be able to check or work availability issues till today. 3rd date is really too soon to do the “come to my home so we can have sex date”. If they aren’t sure on this they can be hesitant on saying yes to it. 2
Author Charles_moeller Posted January 18, 2022 Author Posted January 18, 2022 (edited) cheers for the feedback here. I gauged from our chats that she's a pretty open minded person...I mean a few weeks ago she went on holiday by herself, got picked up by a 75 yr old man and she rode 2 hrs to his house to spend the night because it was fun in her eyes haha....If she can do that with a stranger then a dude that's taking his time to get to know her and is offering to invest shouldn't be an issue I thought. I get that maybe sex is something she might think is on my radar. She seems pretty open about that too though...On the 2nd date she mentioned having sex with 2 colleagues of hers and laughed it off so I'm not judging but she seems pretty happy go lucky with things.. The final option is she just isn't keen, isn't used to saying no to people and being open with her feelings so might try and ghost. Its too hard to read so I'll give it a shot at the end of the week to reach her and will move on if I don't hear back. Edited January 18, 2022 by Charles_moeller 1
ccas93 Posted January 18, 2022 Posted January 18, 2022 28 minutes ago, Charles_moeller said: cheers for the feedback here. I gauged from our chats that she's a pretty open minded person...I mean a few weeks ago she went on holiday by herself, got picked up by a 75 yr old man and she rode 2 hrs to his house to spend the night because it was fun in her eyes haha.... ummm...that's pretty freaking weir- I mean, interesting and open minded, yeah... 3
Wiseman2 Posted January 18, 2022 Posted January 18, 2022 57 minutes ago, Charles_moeller said: On the 2nd date she mentioned having sex with 2 colleagues of hers and laughed it off Ok so she not too shy. Then perhaps keep an open mind about which night is best. Did you ask her if the sex with 2 colleagues was at the same time? She seems entertaining, but a handful.
smackie9 Posted January 18, 2022 Posted January 18, 2022 2nd date and already mentioning her sexapades....wow that says classy. 4
Alvi Posted January 18, 2022 Posted January 18, 2022 1 hour ago, Charles_moeller said: cheers for the feedback here. I gauged from our chats that she's a pretty open minded person...I mean a few weeks ago she went on holiday by herself, got picked up by a 75 yr old man and she rode 2 hrs to his house to spend the night because it was fun in her eyes haha... Oh, what a boring life I live. Somehow, this never happened to me. 1 hour ago, Charles_moeller said: On the 2nd date she mentioned having sex with 2 colleagues of hers and laughed it off so I'm not judging but she seems pretty happy go lucky with things.. Well, just because she went all the way with them, doesn't automatically mean she is going to go there with you too, lol. 1 hour ago, Charles_moeller said: The final option is she just isn't keen, isn't used to saying no to people and being open with her feelings so might try and ghost. Yes, this is probably it. 1 hour ago, Charles_moeller said: Its too hard to read so I'll give it a shot at the end of the week to reach her Sure, why not?
Gaeta Posted January 18, 2022 Posted January 18, 2022 1 hour ago, Charles_moeller said: cheers for the feedback here. I gauged from our chats that she's a pretty open minded person...I mean a few weeks ago she went on holiday by herself, got picked up by a 75 yr old man and she rode 2 hrs to his house to spend the night because it was fun in her eyes haha.. I get that maybe sex is something she might think is on my radar. She seems pretty open about that too though...On the 2nd date she mentioned having sex with 2 colleagues of hers and laughed it off so I'm not judging but she seems pretty happy go lucky with things.. Sorry for saying this but she sounds a little ....nut. You sure you want to get involved with someone like this who has no boundaries and no conception of what is dangerous 4
Author Charles_moeller Posted January 19, 2022 Author Posted January 19, 2022 She's got a bit of crazy in her haha..I've only met her twice so I wont write her off (assuming there's a 3rd date) but every date so far there's been a few red flags. the 1st date she had a few too many drinks and went straight into daddy issues, her ex partner who didnt want her and married her friend, fk boys that try to use her and being rejected by dates... The consistency of naively sharing personal details makes me feel like she has no filter but at the same time its weirdly sexy to have someone that doesn't give a s*** haha... I'm fresh out of a relationship and I dont think she's wifey material so I'm not going to set any expectations. Its a bit of fun and seeing what people are like
Wiseman2 Posted January 19, 2022 Posted January 19, 2022 (edited) 9 minutes ago, Charles_moeller said: to have someone that doesn't give a s*** haha... I'm fresh out of a relationship and I dont think she's wifey material. She may be a lot of fun and adventure, but there's drama behind all this. If you have her in your place and have sex while she's inebriated (unable to consent) expect some major drama. While you are on the rebound and looking for fun, it's kind of crass to put her in the 'easy' pile and knowing all you want is a pump and dump. Think twice about treating people like trash. Edited January 19, 2022 by Wiseman2 2
Author Charles_moeller Posted January 19, 2022 Author Posted January 19, 2022 I'm not desperate for sex and wouldn't put her into any scenario without consent...Even if she turned around this week and said I'm not ready for that lets keep it low level I'd be pretty sweet with it. After the 1st date I made sure she got home safe and didnt push anything further. The 2nd date was more adventurous with no alcohol and more just getting to know each other. I dont think she's easy and I do actually have a good laugh with her...The way she's selling herself and from what she's expressed about what she wants is to have fun and not looking for a relationship so it's mutual. 1
glows Posted January 19, 2022 Posted January 19, 2022 (edited) 4 hours ago, Charles_moeller said: I'm not desperate for sex and wouldn't put her into any scenario without consent...Even if she turned around this week and said I'm not ready for that lets keep it low level I'd be pretty sweet with it. After the 1st date I made sure she got home safe and didnt push anything further. The 2nd date was more adventurous with no alcohol and more just getting to know each other. I dont think she's easy and I do actually have a good laugh with her...The way she's selling herself and from what she's expressed about what she wants is to have fun and not looking for a relationship so it's mutual. It sounds fine if it’s superficial and going nowhere. But I think you’re in a gray area. From her POV, I think she senses you’re more of a relationship kind of guy who may get attached too quickly because of your previous break up hence not as fun or much of a chase. You’re also no good as a boyfriend because of your recent break up. Unfortunately you’re in some gray area where having sex with you may be unethical or not as interesting and she also doesn’t see herself dating you as she may not want to be a rebound. Check in with her anyway later this week if you enjoy her company. You both may have a great time. Edited January 19, 2022 by glows
Author Charles_moeller Posted January 19, 2022 Author Posted January 19, 2022 good point here thank you. To be honest she doesn't know much about my relationships...The first few dates I try to avoid chats about ex partners and focus on the present. I think its good from both sides to have a bit of mystery so there's more to talk about on follow up dates. On her side I think she's the opposite though..She's very honest and open about everything in her past life, break ups, family issues, etc. I don't mind but it may suggest she hasn't resolved issues and may have an unhealthy mindset. I'm aware she has no friends also so I wonder if she's using the app for a bit of validation and attention. I can imagine she's probably lonely
glows Posted January 19, 2022 Posted January 19, 2022 1 hour ago, Charles_moeller said: good point here thank you. To be honest she doesn't know much about my relationships...The first few dates I try to avoid chats about ex partners and focus on the present. I think its good from both sides to have a bit of mystery so there's more to talk about on follow up dates. On her side I think she's the opposite though..She's very honest and open about everything in her past life, break ups, family issues, etc. I don't mind but it may suggest she hasn't resolved issues and may have an unhealthy mindset. I'm aware she has no friends also so I wonder if she's using the app for a bit of validation and attention. I can imagine she's probably lonely I wouldn't read into it or pity her. She's a stranger at the moment. See if she's free later in the week. 1
Alvi Posted January 19, 2022 Posted January 19, 2022 I doubt she has any shortage of suitors if she is talking about her sexcapades with zero filters. Heck, she possibly has an army of guys showing up at her doorsteps begging her pick them for sex. How difficult would it be for a woman to find someone for just sex? Not difficult at all. She is the one in the driver's seat, picking and choosing. 1
salparadise Posted January 19, 2022 Posted January 19, 2022 (edited) On 1/18/2022 at 11:57 AM, Charles_moeller said: On the 2nd date she mentioned having sex with 2 colleagues of hers and laughed it off so I'm not judging but she seems pretty happy go lucky with things.. My guess is that this was your cue... she was telegraphing what was on her mind, but you were in courtship/soulmate mode. That window may have closed. One way to find out. Not all women are as virtuous as the ladies of LS Edited January 19, 2022 by salparadise 2
divegrl Posted January 19, 2022 Posted January 19, 2022 @salparadise lol we are a virtuous group on here lol. Love reading these threads to get male perspectives! Just in my experience, if I want to have sex with a man, I am not telling about all my recent sex partners! As I am too concentrated on him. Just from what you say, it seems you should move on and make other plans for the weekend. Take care!
Wiseman2 Posted January 20, 2022 Posted January 20, 2022 16 hours ago, Charles_moeller said: I wonder if she's using the app for a bit of validation and attention. I can imagine she's probably lonely Lots of assumptions. Did she accept your dinner invitation? Don't be surprised if this ends up with a lot of drama.
Author Charles_moeller Posted January 20, 2022 Author Posted January 20, 2022 When she came out with the sex stories it wasn't random...We were playing a never have I ever/truth or dare game. I thought it'd be great to get to know her a bit better and now I do haha..I'm not judging we've all got skeletons in the closet. On date 2 I just would of thought we'd keep it in there for a bit longer... I'll reach out to her tonight and see how it goes.. 1
Wiseman2 Posted January 20, 2022 Posted January 20, 2022 1 hour ago, Charles_moeller said: ...We were playing a never have I ever/truth or dare game I'll reach out to her tonight and see how it goes.. Isn't that for teen slumber parties? How old is she? Have you heard from her?
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