introverted1 Posted January 18, 2022 Posted January 18, 2022 (edited) 1 hour ago, manekineko said: This may seem like a stupid question, but with all these types of games, how am I meant to know when somebody genuinely likes me? Interested people act interested. When a man is interested, you will know. There won't be games and guessing and arguments/gaslighting. Although there can be some uncertainty in the early days of dating, there shouldn't be angst. And unless there are extenuating circumstances - a trip abroad, a dying parent. a serious illness - there should never be 3 weeks between dates. ETA I think it's @BaileyB whose signature is something like "If they love you, you will know. If they don't, you'll always be wondering." This is spot on. Edited January 18, 2022 by introverted1 2
glows Posted January 18, 2022 Posted January 18, 2022 1 hour ago, manekineko said: Thank you all SO much for all of your responses. I took the advice and asked him if he'd like to meet for dinner this week. I got the whole "I'll let you know", which then subsequently turned into yet another argument where he was gaslighting me and telling me I'm being delusional. He was being quite rude by the end of it. I ended the conversation by telling him I no longer wish to communicate with him. I guess I'm a little naive here as I haven't been in many relationships, but with the daily texts and calls, he fact he kept saying how compatible our personalities are, on top of the fact that when I offered a FWB arrangement he got offended and upset by that.. I guess I like to believe the best in people, but I can't ignore my intuition. I'm assuming he will probably eventually text me again, as he does every time we've had an argument, but it's so true, we shouldn't even be arguing in any shape or form at this early stage. This may seem like a stupid question, but with all these types of games, how am I meant to know when somebody genuinely likes me? Wait for time to tell. Avoid sweeping assumptions and ignore the sweet talking about compatibilities. That is revealed over time and speaks for itself, not by laying it on thick like that. You made the right call ending it. This early with this much frustration and someone calling you delusional, it's time to step away. He's very rude. 1
elaine567 Posted January 18, 2022 Posted January 18, 2022 When did you actually bring up the fwb idea?
Author manekineko Posted January 18, 2022 Author Posted January 18, 2022 55 minutes ago, introverted1 said: Interested people act interested. When a man is interested, you will know. There won't be games and guessing and arguments/gaslighting. Although there can be some uncertainty in the early days of dating, there shouldn't be angst. And unless there are extenuating circumstances - a trip abroad, a dying parent. a serious illness - there should never be 3 weeks between dates. ETA I think it's @BaileyB whose signature is something like "If they love you, you will know. If they don't, you'll always be wondering." This is spot on. Thank you, this is so very spot on, I should just know and not be feeling this type of anxiety. Would you say generally seeing each other once a week is normal in early dating?
Author manekineko Posted January 18, 2022 Author Posted January 18, 2022 41 minutes ago, elaine567 said: When did you actually bring up the fwb idea? I brought it up about a week ago after he rejected my offer to meet up, I tried to withdraw a little bit and say perhaps we could remain friends or fwb etc but he wouldn't agree with any of it.
introverted1 Posted January 18, 2022 Posted January 18, 2022 1 minute ago, manekineko said: Thank you, this is so very spot on, I should just know and not be feeling this type of anxiety. Would you say generally seeing each other once a week is normal in early dating? Once a week is fine in early dating. My experience is that it moves to twice a week fairly quickly, ie., within a few weeks. By the 3 month mark, there is usually a set pattern (could happen sooner in some cases, but rarely later, I'd say), which is governed by not only a desire to see each other but work schedules, family commitments (especially if one or both has kids), etc. Regardless, there should be easy and open communication by this point. 1
Author manekineko Posted January 18, 2022 Author Posted January 18, 2022 3 hours ago, introverted1 said: Once a week is fine in early dating. My experience is that it moves to twice a week fairly quickly, ie., within a few weeks. By the 3 month mark, there is usually a set pattern (could happen sooner in some cases, but rarely later, I'd say), which is governed by not only a desire to see each other but work schedules, family commitments (especially if one or both has kids), etc. Regardless, there should be easy and open communication by this point. Good to know, I'm not crazy! I had told him I'd like to see him once a week (on weekends), but this guy said I sounded like I wanted him to revolve his life around me which I really don't think I was doing. Thank you again. I'm not going to allow gaslighters to confuse me like this next time! 1
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