Catherine11 Posted January 17, 2022 Share Posted January 17, 2022 (edited) Dear Community. I've been living in a household with an abusive person. I am worried that I must have become very insensitive. So many bad things happened in this abusive relationship and yet, when a health scare happened to this person, despite all the scars from the past, everyone became deeply worried about this person's health. I've been worried too, as I want this person to be ok, but I wasn't that deadly worried or concerned as the rest of the family. In fact, I don't wish this person anything bad, but after so much abuse and pain I am just not concerned what is happening in this person's life. I just want to be left alone and away from any news or influence conerning this person. I start thinking that I must have become terrible, as everyone around me pities this person, but I don't feel anything, nothing good, nothing, bad, just a void. So many bad things happened that the ties between us are broken, in emotional sense. I was wondering what do you think and why I am like this. I am always very concerned about everyone, but here I encountered this strange reaction in myself. Should I be blaming myself for being insensitive? Catherine. Edited January 17, 2022 by a LoveShack.org Moderator clarify title Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted January 17, 2022 Share Posted January 17, 2022 4 minutes ago, Catherine11 said: I've been living in a household with an abusive person. It depends who this person is and if you can leave the household. You seem to have normal compassion but don't want to shed a tear for someone who you feel tormented you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Catherine11 Posted January 17, 2022 Author Share Posted January 17, 2022 (edited) It's one of the closest family members in my life. I am so happy that this person is feeling well, but I wasn't falling into despair, because experiennce of many years taught me that now this person is in distress, but when the day of feeling better comes, we will be suffering again and the kindness of family members will be forgotten. Also, those family members who showed so much compassion where very abused in the past, more than me. I love them and it was unacceptable to me and now I am really just feeling a void regarding the person who had a health scare. I don't want to know much about this person's life and I am not super concerned. I am just glad all is ok, but all I want to do is to forget anything that has to do with this person. I'm just glad all is ok, but I am not crying or anything. Thank you so much for your answer. I am trying to figure out what happened with me. I don't want to turn into someone terrible and cold, but I feel like all my feelings were destroyed throughout these many years, because I can't get many feelings out of me. In fact, the very strong feelings which I have are those concerning other family members and the fear if they won't be absued again one day. Edited January 17, 2022 by Catherine11 1 Link to post Share on other sites
glows Posted January 17, 2022 Share Posted January 17, 2022 It's possible to care about someone's overall wellbeing and yet wish not to be engaged at all in that person's life. I think you're very in tune and far from being terrible and cold. Those are only your self-preservation instincts kicking in. I wouldn't worry what anyone else is doing or what they're feeling. If you have a plan to leave, leave. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Catherine11 Posted January 17, 2022 Author Share Posted January 17, 2022 Thank you so much! It is so complex and complicated, yet I feel the same! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
The Outlaw Posted January 25, 2022 Share Posted January 25, 2022 I think it's human not to feel anything towards a person when dealing with abusive behavior on any end. There's only so much a person can take before they find themselves caring less and less. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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