jdesey Posted January 16, 2022 Posted January 16, 2022 Four background I am 55 and the woman I’m going to mention is 55. She did just got out of a relationship a little over two months ago. I have been totally single for two years after my last short-term relationship so we had a great first date last night. 2 1/2 hours conversation went well we had a lot to talk about. Sent a little text today and got a response from her to just say hello how is your packing going because she’s moving. at the end of our date I walked her to her car and she was surprised that I would walk her to her car. When I said I want to see you again she said “we can talk“ I’m not sure what the hell that means. so this is usually the part where I get very confused as to what to do. How often do I text her? When do I ask for that next date? My way to hear from her although most women do not initiate conversation in the early parts of getting to know a man. any advice is appreciated but I would really really like to hear from the women on this one.
glows Posted January 16, 2022 Posted January 16, 2022 Has she responded to your text today? When did you send it? Leave it alone and let her respond back if she hasn’t. The truth is two months seems very soon to start dating someone new. If she’s surprised you walked her back to her car, she might still be reminded of an ex who never did and she’s rusty or hasn’t dated much nor had time to let that past fade. The “talk” comment is passive so I’m not surprised you’re put off. I wouldn’t waste time on this if you sense she’s not into you. 1
CUP OF TEA Posted January 16, 2022 Posted January 16, 2022 "We can talk?" I agree, what the hell does that mean. Perhaps she's friend-zoning you. If she wants to talk she can call you. 1
Author jdesey Posted January 16, 2022 Author Posted January 16, 2022 (edited) 4 minutes ago, glows said: Has she responded to your text today? When did you send it? Leave it alone and let her respond back if she hasn’t. The truth is two months seems very soon to start dating someone new. If she’s surprised you walked her back to her car, she might still be reminded of an ex who never did and she’s rusty or hasn’t dated much nor had time to let that past fade. The “talk” comment is passive so I’m not surprised you’re put off. I wouldn’t waste time on this if you sense she’s not into you. No she responded to the text. I think she is rusty with dating. She told me she was gun shy and I was the first guy she’s been on a date with since her break up. The reason I’m looking for advice is that honestly I only had one second date in 2021. For the most part I didn’t want a second date with most of the women I met. This woman I would like to try to develop something with but I guess I’m worried that if I push too fast she will just ghost me. she is moving this week so I definitely don’t want to ask for a date until she has moved into her new apartment. I was thinking about offering to help with her move. Not sure if that’s a good idea or not? Edited January 16, 2022 by jdesey
glows Posted January 16, 2022 Posted January 16, 2022 15 minutes ago, jdesey said: No she responded to the text. I think she is rusty with dating. She told me she was gun shy and I was the first guy she’s been on a date with since her break up. The reason I’m looking for advice is that honestly I only had one second date in 2021. For the most part I didn’t want a second date with most of the women I met. This woman I would like to try to develop something with but I guess I’m worried that if I push too fast she will just ghost me. she is moving this week so I definitely don’t want to ask for a date until she has moved into her new apartment. I was thinking about offering to help with her move. Not sure if that’s a good idea or not? I don’t think so. Moving is her responsibility and you are not a couple. It was a first meet/date. Be a bit more realistic about this person. She just broke up with someone two months ago and she’s moving. There are two known factors for instability and transition. Is she moving from a shared home with an ex?
Ami1uwant Posted January 17, 2022 Posted January 17, 2022 If she’s moving then this can be a busy time with uncertainty on availability to date.
smackie9 Posted January 17, 2022 Posted January 17, 2022 Leave her to deal with her move. When she's settled in see if she wants to go for a casual dinner.
Wiseman2 Posted January 17, 2022 Posted January 17, 2022 12 hours ago, jdesey said: I said I want to see you again she said “we can talk“ I’m not sure what the hell that means. Ok. She knows your contact info so let her reach out. Lots of red flags so, this is your opportunity to date other women. If you hear from her, great, if not, that's fine too. 1
Alpacalia Posted January 17, 2022 Posted January 17, 2022 Sounds like "we can talk" is a soft maybe. Like her saying "we'll see." 1
Kamille Posted January 17, 2022 Posted January 17, 2022 Take the "we can talk" with a grain of salt, but see it as practice with flirting. As others have said, do not offer to help with the move, but write to check in later this week to ask how its going or to bring up whatever else you discussed during the date. Keep chatting with other women, either in real life or on-line. She's a maybe, perhaps someone with whom something could develop eventually, but she's far from warranting much emotional or time investment from you yet.
Happy Lemming Posted January 17, 2022 Posted January 17, 2022 My advice... wait a few days and call her (not text) and ask for her schedule. Tell her you would like to do some "date planning" but understand she is moving. Sometimes a move goes smoothly and other times... it all falls apart. Then once all of her stuff is moved, she has to unpack, set up utilities, figure out where everything needs to go, etc. etc. What we think will take a day or two, can manifest itself into a big mess. The "we can talk" line wouldn't scare me off from attempting to plan the next date. "Date planning" costs nothing (don't buy any tickets to any functions -- in advance), but do some research and just plan the next date (once you get her schedule) if she says "yes' then go for it. If she says "no", then you'll have your answer.
Wiseman2 Posted January 17, 2022 Posted January 17, 2022 17 hours ago, jdesey said: She did just got out of a relationship a little over two months ago.. Sent a little text today and got a response from her to just say hello how is your packing going because she’s moving. Is she moving out of her BF's house?
ShyViolet Posted January 17, 2022 Posted January 17, 2022 Since she's moving, you should just wait until a couple days after you know she has moved, and then send her a friendly text "How are you? I hope your move went well". And then after that, simply ask her out on a second date. If she doesn't respond, or if she gives you some vague "we can talk" answer again, then leave her alone and don't bother contacting her any further.
Gaeta Posted January 17, 2022 Posted January 17, 2022 She's 2 months out of a relationship....she will be a waste of your time. You'll be one of her 'transition' boyfriends. Surely you know all of that. 3
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