SleeplessinFlorida Posted January 14, 2022 Posted January 14, 2022 Is it me or is finding someone to love you the way you love them just so hard? It's like you have a better chance of spotting a unicorn.
Happy Lemming Posted January 14, 2022 Posted January 14, 2022 Where are you looking?? I've met women in all manner of places/venues. When dating, you have to be a salesman... Always be closing!!
Alpacalia Posted January 14, 2022 Posted January 14, 2022 I thought I spotted a yesterday. But all he did was talk about how many women are in love with him. Barf.
glows Posted January 14, 2022 Posted January 14, 2022 2 hours ago, SleeplessinFlorida said: Is it me or is finding someone to love you the way you love them just so hard? It's like you have a better chance of spotting a unicorn. Maybe you’re overlooking them while searching for unicorns.. It could be a plain jane right under your nose or across from you at the store. 2 1
Author SleeplessinFlorida Posted January 14, 2022 Author Posted January 14, 2022 7 hours ago, Alpaca said: I thought I spotted a yesterday. But all he did was talk about how many women are in love with him. Barf. Seriously? What's the point of that?
Alpacalia Posted January 14, 2022 Posted January 14, 2022 1 hour ago, SleeplessinFlorida said: Seriously? What's the point of that? I don't know. I guess maybe they do it so much because they genuinely think they're more interesting than anyone else they know. 1
Gaeta Posted January 14, 2022 Posted January 14, 2022 It is really hard but what's the alternative? give up? Personally I don't beleive in stop looking and you'll find. That's something people in relationships love telling us.
Gaeta Posted January 14, 2022 Posted January 14, 2022 9 hours ago, Happy Lemming said: Where are you looking?? I've met women in all manner of places/venues. It's not like that anymore unless you're 20 and in college.
Author SleeplessinFlorida Posted January 14, 2022 Author Posted January 14, 2022 6 minutes ago, Alpaca said: I don't know. I guess maybe they do it so much because they genuinely think they're more interesting than anyone else they know. Yeah I guess. Big difference between confidence and conceited. Some people are just full of themselves. 1
Happy Lemming Posted January 14, 2022 Posted January 14, 2022 (edited) 35 minutes ago, Gaeta said: It's not like that anymore unless you're 20 and in college. Not true... I've met women in "real life" venues from age 20 to 56! Just a few months ago, I did an experiment where I talked to a woman at a dog park. I could have very easily gotten her number and took her out on a date. I didn't because I'm in a long term relationship, but it is still possible for men to meet women in "real life" scenarios/venues. The guy may have to try harder and be prepared for rejection, but it does work & works A LOT better than OLD apps... Didn't you refer to the OLD apps as a "Circus" just yesterday?? I don't know why anyone would want to subject themselves to a "circus" when it comes to dating!! Edited January 14, 2022 by Happy Lemming 2
Happy Lemming Posted January 14, 2022 Posted January 14, 2022 35 minutes ago, SleeplessinFlorida said: Yeah I guess. Big difference between confidence and conceited. Some people are just full of themselves. Do you have any game/skillz?? 1
Gaeta Posted January 14, 2022 Posted January 14, 2022 @Happy Lemming: Do you wonder at times why you're the ONLY one on here thinking meeting in real is easy? and you have not been single in what? 10 years? 3
smackie9 Posted January 14, 2022 Posted January 14, 2022 10 hours ago, Alpaca said: I thought I spotted a yesterday. But all he did was talk about how many women are in love with him. Barf. 1
smackie9 Posted January 14, 2022 Posted January 14, 2022 53 minutes ago, Gaeta said: It is really hard but what's the alternative? give up? Personally I don't believe in stop looking and you'll find. That's something people in relationships love telling us. It does happen to the few and far between. I totally believe it because it always happened to me. But maybe being older it may not work that way. Way less availability. 2
Happy Lemming Posted January 14, 2022 Posted January 14, 2022 3 minutes ago, Gaeta said: @Happy Lemming: Do you wonder at times why you're the ONLY one on here thinking meeting in real is easy? and you have not been single in what? 10 years? You are correct I have been in a long term relationship for 10 years, but prior to that I dated and dated A LOT!! If for some reason "V" and I stopped seeing one another, I'd have no problem going out and finding a new girlfriend (in a real life scenario/venue). I did try "on line dating" many years ago (briefly) and I very much agree with you that it was/is a "circus". I'm not the only one on this forum that thinks meeting in "real life" is preferable to the "circus" of OLD apps. I can think of two posters @poppyfields and @Dis that have sworn off OLD and are meeting people in "real life". I'm sure there are others. Perhaps they will "chime in"... At the end of the day, I'm a man and I know what works for men... Confidence and the ability to "sell yourself" in a public venue does work. And yes, it does get easier and easier with practice. Like anything else in life, the more you do it, the better you get at it. 1
Alpacalia Posted January 14, 2022 Posted January 14, 2022 54 minutes ago, SleeplessinFlorida said: Yeah I guess. Big difference between confidence and conceited. Some people are just full of themselves. Indeed. They're like flies. 1
Gaeta Posted January 14, 2022 Posted January 14, 2022 1 minute ago, Happy Lemming said: I can think of two posters @poppyfields and @Dis that have sworn off OLD and are meeting people in "real life". And how is that working for them? They have their share of meeting weirdos. Meeting men/women is not hard, what's hard is meeting the right person for you, and that's hard online and off line. The real world is as much of a circus as online. 1
Happy Lemming Posted January 14, 2022 Posted January 14, 2022 2 minutes ago, Gaeta said: And how is that working for them? I'm not sure about @poppyfields, but yes @Dis just break up with a guy but it seemed it was because of his kid (mostly), not him. Your threads (alone) are proof that the OLD apps are quite full of "weirdos" (your word) and again you are the one that just yesterday called the OLD apps a "circus" (again, your word) Quality women are out there in the "real world". Does it require work & confidence, yes... does it require the male to be out of his comfort zone, yes... does it mean he can't hide behind his phone and has to physically put himself out there, yes... 1
poppyfields Posted January 14, 2022 Posted January 14, 2022 (edited) 18 minutes ago, Gaeta said: And how is that working for them? They have their share of meeting weirdos. Meeting men/women is not hard, what's hard is meeting the right person for you, and that's hard online and off line. The real world is as much of a circus as online. Gaeta, I agree with the bolded. All my boyfriends (short term and long term), with the exception of one, I met in real life. Bur you're right, weirdos are everywhere, on line and off line. Honestly, I have no problem meeting men in real life, it's meeting men I click with and feel attraction to that's difficult. Of the men I've met in real life, I haven't encountered even a fraction of the weirdos you do, not sure why that is I'm sure they're out there! Heck, I just met a new man last night in real life. As I've always said, if you know how to smile and make and return eye contact, you can meet men IRL. It's not difficult. Clicking with and feeling attraction is a different story. Edited January 14, 2022 by poppyfields
Gaeta Posted January 14, 2022 Posted January 14, 2022 8 minutes ago, Happy Lemming said: does it mean he can't hide behind his phone and has to physically put himself out there, yes... Another stereotype that people using online dating are *hiding* behind their phone. We are out there in the world, we have jobs, we commute daily, we have hobbies, we have friends & family, we go to events and whatsnot.
Gaeta Posted January 14, 2022 Posted January 14, 2022 2 minutes ago, poppyfields said: Heck, I just met a new man last night in real life. May I ask where you met him? 1
Alpacalia Posted January 14, 2022 Posted January 14, 2022 In any event OP, take what you see and hear online and off with a grain of salt. Some people make up pretend boyfriends and do all kinds of crazy stuff. 1
glows Posted January 14, 2022 Posted January 14, 2022 31 minutes ago, Happy Lemming said: You are correct I have been in a long term relationship for 10 years, but prior to that I dated and dated A LOT!! If for some reason "V" and I stopped seeing one another, I'd have no problem going out and finding a new girlfriend (in a real life scenario/venue). I did try "on line dating" many years ago (briefly) and I very much agree with you that it was/is a "circus". I'm not the only one on this forum that thinks meeting in "real life" is preferable to the "circus" of OLD apps. I can think of two posters @poppyfields and @Dis that have sworn off OLD and are meeting people in "real life". I'm sure there are others. Perhaps they will "chime in"... At the end of the day, I'm a man and I know what works for men... Confidence and the ability to "sell yourself" in a public venue does work. And yes, it does get easier and easier with practice. Like anything else in life, the more you do it, the better you get at it. I do not online date. I meet people through mutual circles and my own venues. It feels more natural to me and I enjoy the social interaction and shared backgrounds regardless. 2
poppyfields Posted January 14, 2022 Posted January 14, 2022 3 minutes ago, Gaeta said: May I ask where you met him? Don't laugh but once again, I met him while shopping! Lol We caught each other's eye, he smiled, I smiled, he gave me a nice compliment, I was flattered (I think I blushed lol), we chatted for a bit, he asked for my number, I gave him my email address instead. 1
Happy Lemming Posted January 14, 2022 Posted January 14, 2022 5 minutes ago, Gaeta said: Another stereotype that people using online dating are *hiding* behind their phone. We are out there in the world, we have jobs, we commute daily, we have hobbies, we have friends & family, we go to events and whatsnot. For the women, yes... you are out there... but MEN need to be the aggressor, they need to make the attempt to "chit-chat" and sell themselves. Women react positively to confident men, not ones that only know how to tippy-tap on a smart phone - anyone can do that. In my youth, I knew this insurance salesman... he was older and quite successful at his craft. He said his secret was talk to everyone about everything and when the opportunity seems right; try to sell them some insurance. He said it is as simple as "ABC" - always be closing. I used this exact method when it came to dating, I talked to everyone about everything. If the woman is interested, she'll keep the conversation going, and you can tell by her body language and mannerisms - smile, etc. At that point, is when I would ask for her phone number and attempt to date her.
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