lyricist Posted October 21, 2005 Posted October 21, 2005 I came upon this site doing a little surfing, and perhaps the responses here will be a little kinder than those I have recieved on other forums, being that this place is devoted to relationships. Who knows. A little about me and my situation: I'm 24, currently transitioning jobs (from admin assistant/slave back to nanny), very sensitive. I've been on a few dates with this guy I used to work with, and he's really nice. And I really like him. I just got rid of a dude who I thought was going to be something good, but around the seventh month of my talking to him (and the second month round about of my dating him), he changed on me. Turns out, he was persuing a divorce (something that wasn't clear from the beginning, my fault, I was too afraid to ask), and was really only looking for the physical, whereas I wanted a relationship. Well, I stopped contacting him, and he eventually got the point. I kind of feel bad, but I can't (and won't) continue to be used for sex! A little deeper into my background (perhaps this will explain why I feel the way I do now): I'm not looking for a pity party, because who doesn't have times when they suffer. But I have had a difficult life. For me, very difficult. And sometimes I feel so overwhelmed. But I'm trying to make changes that will allow me to take care of myself, because it seems like even those closest to me do not seem to be aware of my emotional needs. I often feel very lonely, and have dealt with harsh rejection all my life. It started with my parents, extended to my peers, and culminated with my family rejecting me. I often feel very abandoned, dreading holidays and the like. My relationships with men have been exploitative (I let them be that way, and I'm trying to change that), and I often feel like my father was the only man who ever loved me unconditionally. That's not really true, I have brothers, but the younger ones don't know me that well, and the older one is all fine and dandy until I tick him off, and then I'm all sorts of horrible things. Some days I'd give anything for a hug. Well, along comes the guy I'm dating. About a month ago I had emailed an old co-worker to say hi. She called me, we talked for awhile, and she told him that she had heard from me. Well, he got my number and called me. And we have talked almost every day since. Well, yesterday I got what I thought to be a really funny email. It contains some explicit content, but I figured why not pass it on. So I passed it on to the guy I'm dating. It was sent to my work email, I sent it to his. Later on however, I feared that perhaps he'd gotten in trouble because of it, but I haven't heard anything. He isn't responding to my emails, and hasn't since yesterday morning. I'm worried. I don't know if I've offended him, and I'm wondering should I ask. I've talked about this to other people, and they just tell me I'm nuts. I think that there's a lot of influences that are making me nuts here, but is there any reason for me to have concern? He's so nice, and guys like him never take interest in me. He has a good job, he's handsome, he's Christian like me (though that's not a be-all and end all, I'm one of those progressive types, but its nice to have someone to discuss those things with, ya know?), he's not into being all fast (we haven't kissed yet, which I'm happy about, but he didn't mind being close to me...he pinches my cheeks which makes me smile), he treats me like a lady. Why do guys just drop off the radar sometimes? Am I being (or going) insane? Please help. Thanks, Lyricist
Recommended Posts