poppyfields Posted January 13, 2022 Posted January 13, 2022 (edited) 1 hour ago, Gaeta said: Don't hold your breath guys & girls. He was suppose to let me know around 1pm if he was free tonight. It's 18h and nothing from him *rolling eyes*. Why does this not surprise me? Totally smitten, my ass. I hope this means he's a big fat NEXT. Edited January 13, 2022 by poppyfields 2
Author Gaeta Posted January 13, 2022 Author Posted January 13, 2022 See when l say people off line aren't any better than online... 2
poppyfields Posted January 13, 2022 Posted January 13, 2022 9 minutes ago, Gaeta said: See when l say people off line aren't any better than online... I still think meeting men off line is better. Had you met him yourself at an event or out and about somewhere and chatted a bit, you might have gathered he was a bit "off" and not bothered with him. Or the first time he said he'd call and then didn't for 12 days, nexted him. But since he is a friend of your friend, you gave him a chance. But lord what a disappointment!! Geez. 1
lonelyplanetmoon Posted January 13, 2022 Posted January 13, 2022 Yes I’d say too much work. You want a guy who you can trust and is dependable. I’d say red flag for not doing what he says etc. It is such an important quality to have. Anyway if it were me I would pass due to the age difference. May be ok for a couple years but long term it won’t last. You can find better. 3
Happy Lemming Posted January 13, 2022 Posted January 13, 2022 20 minutes ago, Gaeta said: See when l say people off line aren't any better than online... But you didn't meet this guy in a "real life" scenario or venue... In fact, you've never actually "met" him at all. Your mutual friend Rob is the intermediary (attempting to introduce two people), similar to any of your OLD services acting as the intermediary to introduce two people. 4
Happy Lemming Posted January 13, 2022 Posted January 13, 2022 39 minutes ago, poppyfields said: Totally smitten, my ass. Now this made me laugh, I had forgotten this guy had said that. He is so smitten, he can't call up and set up a date?? 2
Alpacalia Posted January 13, 2022 Posted January 13, 2022 1 hour ago, Gaeta said: @Alpaca l did not give him my address, l didn't want him to send anything. It was assumed as such. That's a bummer he didn't call. 1
Weezy1973 Posted January 13, 2022 Posted January 13, 2022 Dodged a bullet here Gaeta. And usually I’m all for meeting new prospects, but in this case I think it would have been trouble. And maybe you would have lost a friend too. Next! 1
Author Gaeta Posted January 13, 2022 Author Posted January 13, 2022 I'm gonna block him and l won't mention anything to my friend. He's not the dating police. This man is just not suitable for me, he could be perfect with the next woman. 5
Happy Lemming Posted January 13, 2022 Posted January 13, 2022 @Gaeta I am sorry this didn't work out for you. A man that wants to date you is going to call up and have his date planning completed (before the call). Again, he should have the (Time - Date - Place - Activity) ready to present and have a plan B ready in case you don't like the first suggestion. If a man doesn't have this ready when he calls, then he isn't serious about dating you. What I don't get is his "OMG this" and "OMG that" stuff, etc. etc., his words don't match his actions. 3
Author Gaeta Posted January 13, 2022 Author Posted January 13, 2022 I think some men think to win a woman, for love or for sex, they have to shower her with compliments and that's it, anything can be forgiven with I'm so smitten with you. This guy's complain, to our common friend, was he never comes across quality women but once he's offered one on a silver platter, this is how he behaves. 1
Happy Lemming Posted January 13, 2022 Posted January 13, 2022 4 minutes ago, Gaeta said: This guy's complain, to our common friend, was he never comes across quality women but once he's offered one on a silver platter, this is how he behaves. His actions do not make sense. Unless Rob brings it up, I guess you'll never know what his malfunction is... At the end of the day, better to know now that this "smitten guy" is a flake, then later. 3
glows Posted January 13, 2022 Posted January 13, 2022 10 minutes ago, Gaeta said: I think some men think to win a woman, for love or for sex, they have to shower her with compliments and that's it, anything can be forgiven with I'm so smitten with you. This guy's complain, to our common friend, was he never comes across quality women but once he's offered one on a silver platter, this is how he behaves. That’s what was so ingratiating and off putting about him from the very start. He was all talk, no do. He didn’t follow through with his actions or realize that what he does is more important than what he says. When he had a friend vouch for a person like you, he still couldn’t put two and two together. He doesn’t know that you’re quality anything (he doesn’t know you) but he did have the recommendation of his friend. He was a waste of time but you did give him a fair chance. 4
poppyfields Posted January 13, 2022 Posted January 13, 2022 (edited) 12 hours ago, Gaeta said: I'm gonna block him and l won't mention anything to my friend... Your call, but don't understand why you wouldn't mention to your friend. He should know so he doesn't attempt to fix him up with any other women. He's a flake and doubtful he would act any differently with another woman. Which may be why he has issues meeting and dating "quality" women. Franky I don't think the man is quite right in the head mentally but that's jmo. Agree bullet dodged. Edited January 13, 2022 by poppyfields 1
Author Gaeta Posted January 13, 2022 Author Posted January 13, 2022 27 minutes ago, poppyfields said: Your call, but don't understand why you wouldn't mention to your friend. He should know so he doesn't attempt to fix him up with any other women. He's a flake and doubtful he would act any differently with another woman. Which may be why he has issues meeting and dating "quality" women. It's delicate to tell someone his childhood friend is a flake. If I consider how Rob was closed off to my attemps to discuss this earlier this week I don't think he'll be open to listenning to my story with his friend. In the grand picture it's not important. I've created a new online profile this morning! Lets see what 2022 brings my way!! 2
poppyfields Posted January 13, 2022 Posted January 13, 2022 Gaeta, fair enough but to clarify I wasn't suggesting you tell Rob he was a flake or even paint him in bad light. I only meant to tell him what happened -- that after promising he'd call, wanting to meet you, he never followed through. Leave it at that. As the person who set you up, wouldn't he be curious how it went? But again your call and good luck with new profile!
Happy Lemming Posted January 13, 2022 Posted January 13, 2022 49 minutes ago, Gaeta said: I've created a new online profile this morning! Lets see what 2022 brings my way!! Wishing you luck in 2022... Keep us posted!! 2
vla1120 Posted January 13, 2022 Posted January 13, 2022 50 minutes ago, Gaeta said: It's delicate to tell someone his childhood friend is a flake. Some years ago, after my divorce, friends set me up with a "great guy - he's a doctor, he doesn't practice anymore because he's a medical consultant instead..." etc., Well, he did seem like a nice enough guy, but there were enough red flags that I did a background check. His license to practice had been revoked because he was providing opioids to patients in return for sexual favors. He regained his license at some point, and then lost it again because he did not keep the door to his treatment office open and have another female employee in attendence when treating patients, as was a condition of his license being returned to him. THAT is why he was now a medical consultant. When I told my friends and provided evidence (there were newspaper reports naming him with details!), they were shocked (it was all prior to their friendship and they had moved to this area after the newspaper reports). They were mad at me for awhile for bringing this to light. I think they were embarrassed that they had become close friends with him without knowing. 1 2
Author Gaeta Posted January 13, 2022 Author Posted January 13, 2022 (edited) @vla1120: Wow! what a story! I wrote to my friend. I told him I don't doubt X is a good person and a good friend to him but to me he was unreliable several times (summarized it) so I had to cut him off. I said I thought he should know as he recommanded that friend and vouch for his character. I also thanked him for thinking of me, it could have worked. That was half an hour ago and no reply. I know he works from home today he could be on a zoom meeting. Edited January 13, 2022 by Gaeta 4
glows Posted January 13, 2022 Posted January 13, 2022 I'm sure it'll be fine. It was a kind gesture for him to pass along your contact. It didn't work out and I find it hard to believe he would hold a grudge. I also was in a similar position as you and it also did not work out for different reasons but I was honest with our mutual friend who tried to set us up (in a tactful way). There were some very personal details about the other person she neglected to mention that affected the overall outcome. Or, she didn't think it would be an issue. I noticed very quickly and it was an issue. Either way, this was worth a shot. I agree with you: onwards. 1
Wiseman2 Posted January 13, 2022 Posted January 13, 2022 2 hours ago, Gaeta said: I've created a new online profile this morning! Lets see what 2022 brings my way!! January-February is peak season for people joining dating apps. So lots of new faces to browse. 1
vla1120 Posted January 13, 2022 Posted January 13, 2022 1 minute ago, Wiseman2 said: January-February is peak season for people joining dating apps. So lots of new faces to browse. I did not know that. Maybe I will also take a leap of faith...or not. I'll think about it. 3
Calmandfocused Posted January 13, 2022 Posted January 13, 2022 2 hours ago, Gaeta said: I've created a new online profile this morning! Lets see what 2022 brings my way!! Is this wise Gaeta? I thought you were giving yourself a well needed break from the OLD drama? You’ve only been off the sites a few weeks haven’t you? My fear is that you haven’t had enough time to process the funfair that was your OLD experiences the back end of last year. You’re still vulnerable to the OLD predators IMO. You simply haven’t given yourself enough time for introspection and learning. Just something to think about. 3
Author Gaeta Posted January 13, 2022 Author Posted January 13, 2022 @Calmandfocused: Thank you for your kind words. Yes I beleive I deleted my profile early December. I wouldn't consider myself vulnerable. Yes I do go through a lot of BS but I dismiss them quickly. I have a lot of online experience, before meeting my ex I was online 3.5 years. Takes time for me to take my guards down and get attached. Understandably with the circus online dating is. 1
Happy Lemming Posted January 13, 2022 Posted January 13, 2022 Please keep in mind you did just use the word "circus", so be prepared to sift your way through some new clowns. 4
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