Cornealia Posted January 10, 2022 Posted January 10, 2022 I have an odd dilemma, I’m chatting to a guy off a dating site, we’ve been talking since Christmas Eve and we’re meeting up on the 22nd. He’s so awesome! He’s crazy about me and I’m crazy about him, he’s so nice and caring and we are so insanely similar... however how do I know he’s real? I don’t want to get hurt and my scared little brain has a suspicion that he’s not real and he actually wants to kidnap and murder me. I know it’s odd, but I need to be safe. I guess what I’m asking is what are actual kidnappers and murderers like? Do they care about you and spend all day every day talking and sharing stories, telling each other about their lives and their families? or do they be brief, and just think about how to get you alone ASAP?
stillafool Posted January 10, 2022 Posted January 10, 2022 If you feel unsafe take someone with you for the meet and make sure to meet in a public place like a restarurant or bar. How would we know what murderers and kidnappers are like? 1
smackie9 Posted January 10, 2022 Posted January 10, 2022 You have every right to be afraid. Murdered/kidnapped? that's a stretch. But organized crime kidnapping women for the sex trade is very real. If it feels too good to be true, then it is. If you meet someone, have a friend with you first for an initial meet up. 2
Wiseman2 Posted January 10, 2022 Posted January 10, 2022 2 hours ago, Cornealia said: how do I know he’s real? a suspicion that he’s not real and he actually wants to kidnap and murder me. Ask for a videochat if you think he's catfishing, married, etc. What's the hold up with meeting? Obviously the first meet should be a brief coffee date during the day in public in your area that you drive yourself to.
ShyViolet Posted January 11, 2022 Posted January 11, 2022 The fact that you're asking this, there must be something about him that's feels "off" or is setting off red flags for you. This isn't something that you just randomly feel about a person for no reason. Maybe you should trust your instincts and not meet him. 2
glows Posted January 11, 2022 Posted January 11, 2022 20 hours ago, Cornealia said: I have an odd dilemma, I’m chatting to a guy off a dating site, we’ve been talking since Christmas Eve and we’re meeting up on the 22nd. He’s so awesome! He’s crazy about me and I’m crazy about him, he’s so nice and caring and we are so insanely similar... however how do I know he’s real? I don’t want to get hurt and my scared little brain has a suspicion that he’s not real and he actually wants to kidnap and murder me. I know it’s odd, but I need to be safe. I guess what I’m asking is what are actual kidnappers and murderers like? Do they care about you and spend all day every day talking and sharing stories, telling each other about their lives and their families? or do they be brief, and just think about how to get you alone ASAP? He’s not awesome until you can say the same 20 years from now with a straight face. Take things in stride and limit the long winded chats. In one ear, out the other. If he asks you very personal questions that seem disproportionate to your familiarity or seem inappropriate you don’t have to answer or change the topic and say you’d like to come back to that at a later time after you’ve met. You seem to be getting attached to an idea of someone instead of who they may be in reality. What are some examples where he’s given you the idea he wants to kidnap or murder you? That’s quite a thing to say about someone and I agree you should not meet someone if you have any sense of foreboding or discomfort.
balletomane Posted January 11, 2022 Posted January 11, 2022 You shouldn't be declaring yourself crazy about someone you've never met. You're falling for an idea of him, not for actual him. This doesn't mean he's a kidnapper or a murderer, but you can't get to know someone properly without spending time together in person. Be prudent about it - meet in public places first. 1
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