Mk1 Posted January 7, 2022 Posted January 7, 2022 I've been online dating for a while now and I was talking to a girl (date 1) I really liked and went on one date with, and was planning to go on another. I was also dating someone else (date 2) who at the time, I thought I had more in common with so I spoke to date 1 and said I'm sorry but I'm dating someone I have more in common with and don't want to mess you around. She was fine and thanked me for my honesty. After dating date 2 for a while longer I realised that I acted too hastily, and it didn't work out. We didn't have that much in common at all. Do I reach back out to date 1 and ask if she wants to meet up again, or is that likely to offend her?
Foxhall Posted January 7, 2022 Posted January 7, 2022 Keep your options open going forward Id imagine she will turn you down at this point, but in saying that no harm in asking I suppose. satisfy your curiosity as they say. 1 1
Author Mk1 Posted January 7, 2022 Author Posted January 7, 2022 4 minutes ago, Foxhall said: Keep your options open going forward Id imagine she will turn you down at this point, but in saying that no harm in asking I suppose. satisfy your curiosity as they say. Thank you, yes I agree! Lesson learnt for the future.
Wiseman2 Posted January 7, 2022 Posted January 7, 2022 (edited) 4 hours ago, Mk1 said: Do I reach back out to date 1 and ask if she wants to meet up again, or is that likely to offend her? She most likely moved on. Not to be trite, but next time don't count your chickens before they hatch, put all your eggs in one basket etc. In the future its ok to date around until you're clear that you're ready to be mutually exclusive. Edited January 7, 2022 by Wiseman2 2 1
Author Mk1 Posted January 7, 2022 Author Posted January 7, 2022 Thanks for the advice, and I realise now that I acted too hastily! Ive never done this whole online dating thing before so I'm learning every day, but I really appreciate the advice! 1
smackie9 Posted January 7, 2022 Posted January 7, 2022 Put yourself in her shoes....would you say yes to a second date after being dumped openly for someone else? 1
Author Mk1 Posted January 7, 2022 Author Posted January 7, 2022 16 minutes ago, smackie9 said: Put yourself in her shoes....would you say yes to a second date after being dumped openly for someone else? It's a fair comment, although if I really like someone I will always consider giving them a second chance if I think their intentions are sincere.
glows Posted January 7, 2022 Posted January 7, 2022 OP, the first woman (1) didn't have as much in common with you as 2 and 2 didn't work out. What makes you think the first woman is any more of a match? You may like her but she may not be compatible with you. My suggestion is to let this go and find someone else who meets your needs or checks off your boxes. 2
Author Mk1 Posted January 7, 2022 Author Posted January 7, 2022 In all honesty I acted too quickly. I found someone I thought I had more in common with at the time, but we had only been on 3 dates and in hindsight I should have kept my options open. Even at the time I wasn't sure I was making the right decision, but I was fairly new to online dating at the time after coming out of a 14 year relationship previously.
Wiseman2 Posted January 7, 2022 Posted January 7, 2022 3 minutes ago, Mk1 said: I was fairly new to online dating at the time after coming out of a 14 year relationship previously. That's ok. You're a sincere one-woman type of guy and that is an asset in the long run. Think tortoise and hare 1
glows Posted January 7, 2022 Posted January 7, 2022 1 hour ago, Mk1 said: In all honesty I acted too quickly. I found someone I thought I had more in common with at the time, but we had only been on 3 dates and in hindsight I should have kept my options open. Even at the time I wasn't sure I was making the right decision, but I was fairly new to online dating at the time after coming out of a 14 year relationship previously. There will be other opportunities. No point backpedaling. I don't think you acted too quickly. You were considerate about the way you went about it. 1
spiderowl Posted January 8, 2022 Posted January 8, 2022 I think it is worth a try. At least you were honest and upfront with her; that is to your credit. She may still turn you down, not wanting to be 'second best' in her eyes, but you could tell her you were naive with dating. 1
Author Mk1 Posted January 8, 2022 Author Posted January 8, 2022 7 hours ago, spiderowl said: I think it is worth a try. At least you were honest and upfront with her; that is to your credit. She may still turn you down, not wanting to be 'second best' in her eyes, but you could tell her you were naive with dating. Thanks for the advice. If I do reach back out I will be going in with the mindset that she will turn me down, anything else will be a bonus.
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