Ex invited me to New Year's dinner

[Mike Goldstein]

Hi all, well I'm new around here and thought I'd run a question through the relationship experts and see how it pans out.

My ex is from a country South of border. They customarily have a New Year's dinner (as do many places) for family at home. I was stopping by to take my daughter for a little drive and she came down telling me mom invited me for dinner. Big surprise because I have been blocked for 2 years with a 3 week unblock a year ago. 

Well I thought it would be nice to eat in my old house with my kids so I said yes and went up but told them I could only eat on the balcony as I am not fully vaxxed. She had her brother and sister and in laws there and she was surprised I didn't want to take off my mask saying it's no problem as she is triple vaxxed.

 

Anyway I ate alone on the balconey then joined them wearing my mask. Everything cordial. I had been a bit emotional about getting her back in the past and played it cool. Very calm, neutral and so on. I got on with everyone and everyone was polite to me. 

 

I wrote a thankyou email to her on new year's day and told my kids to alert her. No response.

I am trying to figure out why she invited me. I'm naturally cynical so everything is possible lol.

 

Please don't advise me to ask her. She has me blocked on everything. I am too proud to go around and try to talk to her. That ended up badly for me a year ago.

 

Any advice appreciated. Apologise for my boring longwinded text.

 

I kind of wish I hadn't have gone now. 

 

 

Edited January 6, 2022 by Mike Goldstein

[Foxhall]

5 minutes ago, Mike Goldstein said:

thought I'd run a question through the relationship experts

well Im far from an expert, 

but anyway,

it strikes me as merely a conciliatory gesture for the sake of the children, on a special occasion.

would not read anymore into it, or expect anything further than that,

baby steps, you could take it as a small victory, but I dont think your going to be back part of the family anytime soon.

 

[glows]

Considering you're all over the map on this dinner, it's a good idea not to go in future. You're overthinking things a little too much. My guess is she asked you over for the kids.

If you've pressured her to reconcile or sent other emails in the past that weren't welcome, she may not want to respond to a thank you note in case things are misconstrued. On the outset sending a thank you note is a nice gesture but there seems to be some tension and undercurrent between the two of you due to your past. Don't send anything else if you know you're blocked via other means and definitely don't send another email. There's no need to approach her. Consider this a one time special occasion only dinner for the kids. 

 

[Wiseman2]

It seems like this was an attempt at co-parenting for the sake of your kids. 

View it as nothing more than that. 

[Mike Goldstein]

Thank you everyone for the responses. Good advice and I would agree she probably just thought she would invite me for our kid's sakes. 16 and 20. Not little but they're still our kid's.

 

Anyway I don't think it's good etiquette to not reply to a thankyou note. Especially after a situation like this. She is rude, manipulative and I'm done with her. I noticed several times she unessicarisly her revealed body and flirtations.

 

Some women are so obbsessed with creating the appearance that their ex is obbsessed by them they will try to reignite the obbsessed if they think it's gone.

 

Hopefully 2022 will see me divorcing her. She has said she isn't going to divorce me. 

 

Thsnks and Happy New Year!